Fucking monday fucking sucks man, always a horrible horrible day. The most you can ask of this day is that it is not quite as bad as you expected. Like, you swerve into oncoming traffic and a semi is coming and you think “oh shit, I’m gonna die.” Instead you are merely rendered a brain damaged quadriplegic, is what Monday is like. Or you avoid the semi but a soda can goes flying and hits you in the nuts.
I feel like fucking Garfield but I’ll say it: I hate Mondays. I have a case of the fucking Mondays. Tell me why: I don’t like Mondays, etc. That chick who shot all those people and was put to song by Bob Geldoff was really onto something.