Julie Kim

22 Jun

I’m trying to track down my college ex girlfriend. But She’s Korean, and Koreans are impervious to Google.

So are Mexicans, generally.  Kenny Rogers the dog was owned by somebody; there was a name on his chip but it was something to the tune of “Miguel Hernandez.”  Try googling “Miguel Hernandez Los Angeles” or even “Miguel Hernandez Echo Park” and see where that gets you.  It sucks if someone’s considering returning your lost dog but it’s great if you’re on the sex offender registry I guess.  Mexicans have 8 last names and 15 first names so good luck finding one individual. And then Koreans are WAY, WAY worse because you have 5 last names if that.

I’m trying to track her down because she was hot, and we had hot sex, and I want a picture to remind me what she looked like so I can beat off to her tonight.  Except– what the fuck happened to Julie Kim?  How is somebody not on facebook and tons of people knew her and yet no one has spoken to this person in over a decade?

What if she’s dead? What if she died on 9/11? What if I’m beating off to her later and she died being roasted alive by jet fuel and had to leap flaming through a plate glass window and fall 100 stories to her death?

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13 Responses to “Julie Kim”

  1. LE June 22, 2012 at 10:40 am #

    Try LinkedIn or try googling what she majored in and the school. This has worked for even the anonymous white Irish guys that I have dated who sound like they wrote some Enlightenment-era tract on good governance. Adam Sm

  2. LE June 22, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    Try LinkedIn or try googling what she majored in and the school. This has worked for even the anonymous white Irish guys that I have dated who sound like they wrote some Enlightenment-era tract on good governance. Adam Smith is way more traceable as “Adam Smith Ashtanga yoga instructor”

  3. sylviasarah June 22, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    I bet everything I own on this guy being THE Miguel… https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002369950674#!/profile.php?id=100002369950674&sk=friends&ft_ref=mni

  4. Anonymous June 22, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

    You were with a Korean chick? I always thought you dug white girls with little girl faces.

  5. Anonymous June 22, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    if you know the names of family members she’s lived with, try a free search on Intelius. (it groups family members together by addresses listed on credit reports, etc.)

    Also try ZabaSearch with birthday defined.

    Could also stop by a local college library and use their computers/WiFi to get onto Lexis-Nexis Academic Universe and use the People Search feature.

  6. lenore June 22, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

    or you could stop obsessing about someone you fucked 15 yrs ago, take your meds, get some therapy for your intimacy issues and make your best friend your real girlfriend while she is still around and still gives a damn.

    • sylviasarah June 22, 2012 at 11:49 pm #

      What’s wrong with a little reflection? Haven’t movies been made about this thing? The thing where guys reminisce and it brings on some kind of psychological breaththrough? I’m pretty sure there are and I’m pretty sure John Cusack may have been in one, the one with the records, which means his sister would probably have had some really awesome ron…not ron jeremy…ron howard! …would probably have had some really awesome ron-howard’s-much-undervalued-brother importance in the movie. That’s probably not what’s going on here, but it is possible. :)

      But I support the last one. Hope she’s well.

      • lenore June 23, 2012 at 8:39 am #

        lol ss… luv john cusack and always enjoy reading your comments.

    • Anonymous June 23, 2012 at 1:42 am #

      what would his fake girlfriend do then..huh?
      http://www.flickr.com/photos/81088679@N08/7424497504/in/photostream

      • Anonymous June 23, 2012 at 1:45 am #

        i meant in response to lenore…who always oversimplifies DT.. a symptom of infatuation. probably not a good idea…

      • lenore June 23, 2012 at 8:54 am #

        yikes… fakegirl needs to buy a new shade of lipstick. or is that a moustache that needs waxing? or maybe she and dt need to hire a better photographer… ha

      • Anonymous June 24, 2012 at 11:19 pm #

        dude, guys, it’s Man Ray. hard-pressed to find a better photographer–and why can’t i reply directly to your posts? is that a glich?–or are you just pussies…huh?

      • Anonymous June 24, 2012 at 11:20 pm #

        nevermind–my glitch–figured out the reply system. kinda duh. sorry

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