She is extremely hot. But when I am most assured of the fact that she’s attracted to me she starts to look like a goofy fat-faced fourteen year old boy, and when I think she’ s blowing me off, then I remember how preposterously hot she is. Everybody’s like that. There’s some self-sabotaging subconscious glitch that distorts your perception. Some fucking mechanism, a brutally efficient one, whose purpose is to make sure you’re never happy. That if somebody likes you you can never find them attractive, but if they don’t give a fuck about you they’re painfully beautiful. This is not news to anybody, my saying this. But Jesus– it’s fucking perverse.
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