Review: The First Fifteen Minutes of the Latest Saturday Night Live, Viewed Blind Drunk

17 Sep

I have a headache from drinking almost a whole fifth of Mexican brandy and smoking like eight cigarettes.  I went upstairs and drank with my neighbors and watched Saturday Night Live.  It is horrible and unfunny.  Their new Obama impersonator sounds exactly nothing like Barack Obama.  Seth McFarlane was the host and his monologue was him showing off Family Guy voices.  He has four hundred million dollars.  Saturday Night Live is so awful, and I was so blind drunk that I was almost hallucinating, like it was an acid trip, and watching the hackish and cheap and predictable television show made me think I had gone back to the 50’s.  Like there would be a news break and Edward R. Murrow would come on smoking a Pall Mall and talking about Dwight D. Eisenhower.  There are probably a hundred creative staff on that show and they have all week to come up with 55 minutes worth of stuff and you always hear about how the new players are crushed when their sketches get cut and tons of material is culled so it’s only the best of the best of the best and the show fucking sucks so hard.  It’s because it’s people who went to Harvard.  It’s upper middle class WASPs and Jews who grew up in Westchester County or the nice part of Jersey and their parents were prosperous oral surgeons or Attorney General of the State and were not alcoholics and did not beat or molest them.  The writers and actors on Saturday Night Live are establishment types. The cream of the crop of normal people. And their suffering is only suffering to try to get on Saturday Night Live– having to have bad auditions for six months and living in Manhattan with five roommates after college.  People like this are just walking job interviews.  They are incapable of ever being honest about anything.  But if you put Artie Lange, who is a fat ugly heroin addict who tried to kill himself, if you just put him on TV for 55 minutes plus incessant commercial breaks it would be funny as fuck.

Nikol, you should text that to Lorne Michaels next time you’re drunk.  That his show fucking sucks and I’d rather watch my family on fire than anything he’s put his name on in the last fifteen years.  Throw an anti-semitic slur in there too, why not.

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4 Responses to “Review: The First Fifteen Minutes of the Latest Saturday Night Live, Viewed Blind Drunk”

  1. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn September 19, 2012 at 7:07 am #

    Wait a minute, I thought you said the funniest guy in Indiana would be on the campus of Notre Dame?

    Last fifteen years… I would say SNL went to shit after around 2000 – 2001, at that point they still had some funny cast members like Tracy Morgan and Will Ferrell. You knew it was done when they started bringing in fucking Nickelodeon child actors. As black characters no less. The black guys are usually the funniest fucking ones in the cast. But they had to go get some black kids who grew up on a studio set in Hollywood doing cheesy Nickelodeon kid’s comedy, thereby making them the least black black people in the country, which means they’re incapable of being funny. Now, not only is it not funny; it’s also lost any semblance of the counterculture edge it once had, which is probably one of the main reasons it isn’t funny. Add it to the trash heap of Network television “comedy” shows. Ugh, I’d rather watch Two and a Half Men, or that show with the computer nerds that live with a hot chick, or any of the other garbage unfunny shit that somehow gets aired. It absolutely amazes me that not only does this shit make it on air, but millions of people watch it and LIKE it.

  2. Anonymous September 22, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

    the episode where zooey deschanel hosted 2 months ago was beautiful and funny front to back so snl isnt permanently retarded

  3. Hero September 24, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    It’s mostly retarded.

    I’ve been watching it for 25 years and it seems to be getting dumber and dumber. Most of the stuff that is “funny” is only funny when looked at as some kind of parody of Broadway.

  4. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 13, 2012 at 10:16 pm #

    Tonight’s episode was horrible. The opening skit was a parody of the Biden/Ryan debate, and that was alright, it was actually moderately funny. But then it just got really bad. They did this one skit that was a parody of that Gillette razor commercial with the celebrities – they had someone playing Andre 3000, then another guy playing Adrien Brody, then the 3rd guy was supposed to be Jerry Sandusky; he’s shackled in a jumpsuit trying to shave with the Gillette mach 3 or whatever. Then they cut to all three of them walking down the street together, and all these women are turning their heads to eyefuck them. It was like they wanted to get a bunch of little kids in there and have Jerry Sandusky seductively eyeing them, but it got flagged, so they just threw him in a regular commercial. Made no fucking sense.

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