I have a headache from drinking almost a whole fifth of Mexican brandy and smoking like eight cigarettes. I went upstairs and drank with my neighbors and watched Saturday Night Live. It is horrible and unfunny. Their new Obama impersonator sounds exactly nothing like Barack Obama. Seth McFarlane was the host and his monologue was him showing off Family Guy voices. He has four hundred million dollars. Saturday Night Live is so awful, and I was so blind drunk that I was almost hallucinating, like it was an acid trip, and watching the hackish and cheap and predictable television show made me think I had gone back to the 50′s. Like there would be a news break and Edward R. Murrow would come on smoking a Pall Mall and talking about Dwight D. Eisenhower. There are probably a hundred creative staff on that show and they have all week to come up with 55 minutes worth of stuff and you always hear about how the new players are crushed when their sketches get cut and tons of material is culled so it’s only the best of the best of the best and the show fucking sucks so hard. It’s because it’s people who went to Harvard. It’s upper middle class WASPs and Jews who grew up in Westchester County or the nice part of Jersey and their parents were prosperous oral surgeons or Attorney General of the State and were not alcoholics and did not beat or molest them. The writers and actors on Saturday Night Live are establishment types. The cream of the crop of normal people. And their suffering is only suffering to try to get on Saturday Night Live– having to have bad auditions for six months and living in Manhattan with five roommates after college. People like this are just walking job interviews. They are incapable of ever being honest about anything. But if you put Artie Lange, who is a fat ugly heroin addict who tried to kill himself, if you just put him on TV for 55 minutes plus incessant commercial breaks it would be funny as fuck.
Nikol, you should text that to Lorne Michaels next time you’re drunk. That his show fucking sucks and I’d rather watch my family on fire than anything he’s put his name on in the last fifteen years. Throw an anti-semitic slur in there too, why not.