You Should Have Been Born Ugly

18 Sep

Because you’re pretty smart, but you have fallen into every single trap that good looking girls do.  You believe in astrology, The Law of Attraction™, organic carrot juice being put in your ass to cure cancer.  You are acutely interested in shoes and handbags.  The weird thing is you discuss all this shit intelligently. You hear any of this shit from a fat chick and they’d rightly be told to fuck off.  Get back to the farm.  But you, you’re gonna carry this stupid shit with you for your whole life.  Nobody ever wants to tell you there’s no tooth fairy.  Like, the greatest genius in rural Swaziland still believes in sorcery, because no one’s around to tell him: “no, physics.” Instead he becomes the best shaman with the farthest reaching knowledge of how sodomizing a bull and having virgins drink the collected semen while wrapped in asps will ensure power, strength and virility for seven years.

 

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16 Responses to “You Should Have Been Born Ugly”

  1. Anonymous September 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    You should have been brutally molested as a child or disfigured during a coke binge gone awry. Then, maybe, you could be grateful for the myriad advantages you continuously take for granted. Instead, you are a self-destructive douchebag.

    If she was born ugly, you wouldn’t care about her at all, no matter how smart she was. You would lament her ugliness, discount her as a human being, and then go hatefuck an emotionally damaged nineteen year old. All while bitching you don’t get laid enough.

    Grow up.

    • Anonymous September 18, 2012 at 8:07 pm #

      Do you really think your comment comes across as anything other than bitter? Try to be a little less one dimensional next time, sheesh.

    • sylviasarah September 19, 2012 at 12:46 am #

      In effort to give reason for my disagreeing with your response instead of just taking issue with it and not saying why: I think this is more social commentary than his own view. And at least he sounds not exactly excited that her intelligence is being thrown at, going by what he’s comparing it to, nonsense. Not everything is about chicks he wants to screw.

      • Anonymous September 19, 2012 at 9:28 am #

        You keep telling yourself that, chick who wishes she were screwing him.

      • sylviasarah September 19, 2012 at 9:41 am #

        You say that like I’m supposed to be ashamed or something, Troll. Understand this: I’m not ashamed.

      • sylviasarah September 19, 2012 at 9:42 am #

        You say that like I’m supposed to be ashamed or something, Troll. Understand this: Ain’t no shame in my non-game.

      • sylviasarah September 19, 2012 at 9:43 am #

        :( No ‘edit’ button

      • Anonymous September 19, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

        Yes, Sylvia, your lack of shame is what makes every one of your comments especially cringe-worthy. Like a gory car accident, except with second hand embarrassment instead of mangled metal and brain splatter.

      • sylviasarah September 19, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

        No one says you have to read them :) Don’t be so offended that someon disagrees with you. It’s okay. I don’t take it personally but, you don’t have to get personal. You’ve obviously got something going on that makes you such a rage monster that you come on someone’s blog and take shots at commenters. Why do you even read it? You want to be mad and you want other people to be mad too. You’re not winning with me. Sorry.

      • sylviasarah September 19, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

        *someone

      • sylviasarah September 19, 2012 at 5:29 pm #

        No one but you is going to know what I mean but I’m putting it here anyway because I have no way of guaranteeing you go back to my page.

        Thanks for reading and for adding suggestions to the list. I’m sure you wouldn’t have recommended a vibrator you wouldn’t personally know works well but the book on overcoming passive aggression obviously did you no good. Next time, just send me an email.

        PS, you’re still lame. Someone doesn’t agree with you and you get all shitty. You must have a great life.

    • collapseofman September 19, 2012 at 2:02 am #

      How could ANYBODY not get that this is tongue in cheek? I’m not even going to fuck with you. I’m amazed.

    • Anonymous September 19, 2012 at 2:09 am #

      The truth is–knowing DT in real life–I have to agree with anonymous. It’s not bitter remark–but completely blatant fact. I think DT would actually agree.

  2. hey nonny mouse September 19, 2012 at 2:37 am #

    It seems as though the tiny shreds of decent humanity have slipped off into the wind, and maybe that’s a stance, and god, I hope so.

    • hey nonny mouse September 19, 2012 at 2:37 am #

      Also, I’ve met these people too. They’re not all ladies.

  3. Anonymous September 22, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

    i was watching “the five” on fox news last nite when this came on (in the bumper segment), and i thought of you: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x10mb9_fleetwood-mac-rhiannon_music

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