Gertrude Part Four: Further Proof That STD’s Are a Fake Boogeyman

26 Oct

At this point it’s almost like “what do I have to do.”  I’m the Whitey Bulger of herpes, flagrantly committing crimes and then dodging punishment for decades while walking around with my hugely recognizable face in a heavily populated city.  What do I have to do to get an STD.   I mean, maybe this girl– there could still be an incubation period.  When did I start fucking her– probably like a week before this test.  So no AIDS would have come through or anything.

But what the fuck would SHE have to do to get an STD. It’s easier for girls to get it than guys, right?  That’s what they tell you in sex ed.  Sixty per cent of new HIV transmissions are women, eighty seven per cent of new syphilis transmissions are women, blah blah blah…  That’s what they tell you in health class.  They also tell you there’s a big chance that if you fuck someone unprotected you’ll get an STD.  So fuck what they said in health class.  I’m not gonna believe anything that came out of that shit anymore.  I’m gonna go back to my childhood understanding, based on speculation from an ass porn mag given to me by a hobo, that a baby is made when a guy puts his penis into a girl’s butt and pees.

How does this girl not have an STD.  She rawdogged a guy for money.  She emailed me off my web site about how I love rawdogging strangers, saying “we should have sex.”  “We should use a condom thought because I haven’t had my STD test yet.” So we used a condom of cour— hahahahaha.  Fuck no we didn’t.  She fucked (REDACTED minor celebrity) who is known as an undiscriminating cocksman.  He has been with thousands and thousands of the filthiest Los Angeles skanks.  He did not give her an STD.  She fucked guys off craigslist when she was 17 (on a related note– there are 17 year old girls peddling ass on craigslist; I should look into that).  Every story she tells is about fucking, abortions, the morning after pill, guys whom she is fucking getting hung up on her, guys whom she is fucking flipping out on her.  Oh, you mean Steve the sculptor?  No, Steve the dentist; I don’t think I told you about him yet.  She is a savage cockfiend who at the age of 22 has choked down more veiny condomless wangs than there are stars in the sky.  How does she not have an STD.

Nikol has never had an STD.    Nikol has been being gang raped by hillbillies since she went into foster care at four years old.  I am not– that is not a funny exaggeration.  She was fucking gang raped by hillbillies at age four, and the constant and unprotected meaty penetration by genetic undesirables has marched on ceaselessly every day of her life since then. Fake girlfriend has never had an STD.  Fake girlfriend peddled her ass to ecstasy and heroin dealers in San Francisco in the 90’s– bisexual guys, a lot of them.  So they would have been laying pipe into wart laden shitty assholes in sweaty back rooms in some club night called “The Eight Buck Fuck” before rawdogging her.  She did not get an STD. I fucked a half-retarded Chinese chick who had fucked a homeless guy she met on the subway, for Christs’s sake.  “They are saying he is a prostitution,” she said of him. Meaning, her friends thought he blew random old guys for cash, and he rawdogged her, and then I rawdogged her.  I did not get an STD.

What’s it gonna take? Do I have to fuck a piece of undercooked chicken?  Do I have to send my dick back in time to 1349 and rub it on  fleabitten rats brought by the Mongol hordes?

What the fuck is it gonna take?  Or more appropriately, let’s ask: what the fuck is it gonna take before people get the fuck over using condoms, because the STD scare is obviously an overblown crock of shit.  It’s happening already.  A tidal change.  Eight years ago every girl I went in raw would without fail pester me the next morning about omigod what happened when’s the last time you got tested, and that was for EVERYTHING, right?  Not just the free HIV test from that gay thrift store where you buy old Irma Bombeck paperbacks and broken crock pots.  Eight years ago getting a girl to fuck you raw was a delicate dance of holding back, saying OK baby, let’s just wait then, eat her out a little more, pour her a few more glasses of reasonably priced California Central Coast pinot noir… keep trying and trying and you would get that unprotected sex that felt like wining the lottery.

Now it’s a paycheck.  Every girl goes down with no resistance, except the Jewish ones.  Even they will just tease you with “it’s not happening if you don’t put something on,” all cute… and it vanishes in five minutes.  We are awakening, as a society, to the abject bullshit that’s been stuffed down our craw since the closeted gay Jesus people and the sexless molested granola feminists formed their unholy antisex alliance and took up the fake straight AIDS scare as their nuke against pleasurable fucking.  More people are rawdogging.  More people are waking up to the bliss that comes from executing your true purpose on Earth.  We, the pioneers, have laid the groundwork for the youth, by showing them that you can fuck an alley cat’s asshole while a hobo gums your balls and walk away with your dick as sparkling clean as bone white china.  I would ask your gratitude, but, the pussy has been its own reward.

Anyway.  Excelsior.

70 Responses to “Gertrude Part Four: Further Proof That STD’s Are a Fake Boogeyman”

  1. Not R. Lee October 26, 2012 at 6:10 pm #

    I had an STD, if you count HPV. I learned that recently. Contracted it in the red light district in Seoul many years ago. No big deal. Never even noticed it until I read this blog and figured I must have gotten it from that one whore in the glass window who let me raw dog her.

    So Nikol probably has it. And so do you. Sorry. Blame the whore.

    • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 12:59 am #

      This means it’s been a while since you’ve had sex right? Not that I care. It’s been a while for me too but, everything about your comment leaves you open to scrutiny. Again, not that I care. Just curious :)

      • Fakegirlfriend October 27, 2012 at 8:42 am #

        How shocking it is that you haven’t gotten laid in awhile… an interesting, skinny gal like you.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 9:38 am #

        I know right? It’s by my own choice, obviously.

      • Fakegirlfriend October 27, 2012 at 1:52 pm #

        oh, obviously. you must have to swat away the suitors left and right!

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

        Yeah. I have major bitch shield/anti slut defense now. Gone are the days of not having to be so damned selective. :(

        (let’s not pretend you’re actual fg anymore, huh?)

  2. Nikol October 26, 2012 at 6:46 pm #

    Hpv naturally heals itself in two years. You’re a fucking moron. You probably had fat, ugly Korean disease.

    • Not R. Lee October 27, 2012 at 7:17 am #

      A virus heals itself. Lol!! Must have missed that one in Biology 1A back in college, lmao!

      Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I am pretty sure I have had HPV in the past year. Don’t ask me how I know. I know.

      But don’t be mad. It is your own fault you volunteered to swallow my cum, (REDACTED), and let me shoot it inside you repeatedly. For the record, I knew I had HPV when I bare backed you, Nikol, and I didn’t really give a shit. Still don’t. With any luck, you should see a wart outbreak anyway now, probably next time you get another yeast infection from the excessive semen loads.

      Merry Christmas! LOL!! :-)

      • Fakegirlfriend October 27, 2012 at 8:44 am #

        Yeah, like r.lee really gets laid. That’s a fucking laugh.

      • Nikol October 27, 2012 at 1:00 pm #

        1- You don’t know anything. Your immune system will fight off the HPV in a few years. Believe it. Don’t believe it. I don’t really care. You’re a fucking idiot.

        2- I am sure your ex wife will enjoy reading the many emails I will send her on the topic of your HPV infection. Still going through the divorce? Seems she could probably sue you for giving her HPV after contracting it from a hooker.

      • Fakegirlfriend October 27, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

        lol nikol, you’re such a cunt sometimes.

      • nikolhasler October 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

        You’d think that being a lawyer http://www.(REDACTED).com/?page_id=13
        Richard would understand that things like this http://jezebel.com/5916067/woman-is-awarded-900000-after-suing-the-man-who-gave-her-herpes happen.

    • Fakegirlfriend October 27, 2012 at 8:43 am #

      Oh is that what you think, Doctor? You’re a fucking dumbass to say things with such authority.

      • nikolhasler October 27, 2012 at 1:03 pm #

        Jesus christ. Do a simple google search about it and you, too can be a doctor. http://www.articlesbase.com/medicine-articles/cure-hpv-is-there-a-cure-for-hpv-1050433.html

      • Emily October 27, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

        You really are fucking stupid. Stop disseminating flawed information like you what you’re talking about.

      • nikolhasler October 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm #

        Yeah, Richard, I made sure to post that article on articlebase so I could appear to know what I was talking about. I also made sure that all the latest information on HPV with the CDC was changed so I could seem right.

        Really, it’s just common knowledge.

    • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 9:46 am #

      Damn Nikol. FG sobered up just so she could talk crap about you without sounding like she’s giving the written version of a spoken word poem disguised as nonsense. You’re doing the Lord’s work.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 9:57 am #

        PS, HPV can actually go away on it’s own. I’m not saying she’s right, I’m just saying she doesn’t sound like her usual poetry slam self.

      • Fake girlfriend October 27, 2012 at 9:58 am #

        It’s not even me writing anymore.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 9:59 am #

        Suddenly I feel like a huge jerk. You people is crayzuh.

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 27, 2012 at 10:19 am #

        You realize that anybody can type “Fakegirlfriend” in the name field of the comment box, right? You don’t exactly have to scan your fucking retina in to post a comment.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 10:48 am #

        I think the only appropriate response is: Duhh.

        I just hadn’t expected it.

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 27, 2012 at 11:06 pm #

        You couldn’t tell the difference in the posting styles? I take back what I said about you not being the theoretical ditzy girl.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 11:12 pm #

        Really? Because I’m pretty sure that is exactly what I did. I commented on how different she was. I could go for a title of naive because I wouldn’t have expected someone to be so sad that he’d use names commonly used by others to troll everyone. So, you know, whatevah man!

        Oh, and thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one who comes on this sight so much I can when something is fishy. Next time, if you want to make me feel bad about not knowing my people, you should bring it up before me. Pointing out after actual FG took notice doesn’t mean you’re smart.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 11:13 pm #

        And I did call out cathy’s comment the other day for being unexpected, and that totally wasn’t her. So. Chew on that.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 11:19 pm #

        *site…

    • Emily October 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

      Fat, ugly Korean disease?
      LOL so you’re a fucking racist on top of being a dumbshit.
      And yes, I’m sure you still have HPV.

      • nikolhasler October 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

        (Hey Richard, your comments are all coming from the same IP address. Silly.) Oooooh, all riled up! You’re calling me a racist for the five millionth time.

      • R. Lee October 27, 2012 at 4:21 pm #

        That’s not me. This is me. If you could actually see the IP address, you would already have realized this.

        Your critic is someone else. This is not the first time you have made incorrect, irrational assumptions.

    • Christy October 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm #

      Nikol is correct. I should know.

  3. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 27, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    I think something like 80% of people who are sexually active will get HPV at least once in their life. Everybody posting here has most likely had it at one point.

    • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 27, 2012 at 9:02 am #

      ” Approximately 20 million Americans are currently infected with HPV. Another 6 million people become newly infected each year. HPV is so common that at least 50% of sexually active men and women get it at some point in their lives.”

      from the CDC.

  4. Fake girlfriend October 27, 2012 at 9:56 am #

    Omg. I didn’t write any of these comments. Someone else is pretending to be fake girlfriend. so I guess that’s it. I’m officially not your fake girlfriend anymore. I have been gone for months I guess, and maybe it’s time. You can just call me emily or Em if you need to reference me. This will be the last post from Fake Girlfriend that we can know is me. Weird.

    • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 27, 2012 at 10:22 am #

      So you did all that shit in the 90’s? I thought you were in your early 20’s, but you gotta be in your mid 30’s or so.

      This is what I imagine Fakegirlfriend is like, one of the characters off of this show:
      http://youtu.be/UBPT1pgByqc

      • Emily October 27, 2012 at 12:37 pm #

        Yes. I am 35.

      • Fakegirlfriend October 27, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

        no wonder DT dumped your haggard ass.

      • Emily October 27, 2012 at 1:58 pm #

        good call, pffffffffffft

  5. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 27, 2012 at 10:33 am #

    Did you disable embedding? It doesn’t use up your bandwidth, you know.

    • delicioustacos October 27, 2012 at 5:06 pm #

      No, the embeds get spam blocked for some reason.

  6. nikolhasler October 27, 2012 at 2:01 pm #

    IP addresses reveal an awful lot.

    • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn October 27, 2012 at 11:09 pm #

      Not necessarily. They can be pretty misleading sometimes.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 11:20 pm #

        Though, comments from supposedly different commenters is kind of indicative of something.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 11:26 pm #

        *comments from supposedly different commenters which are being posted using the same ip address is kind of indicative of something. It would be kind of cool to find out multiple people were posting using the same ip address but weren’t in on some stupid, sad mission to troll.

        I really need to start proofreading. I think my tells are that and insipidity. I feel a little snubbed but I’ll tell myself I am also too unique for an impostor to go unquestioned.

  7. cathy October 27, 2012 at 2:50 pm #

    all the fake “fake girlfriend” comments were confusing the sh!t outta me.

  8. cathy October 27, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

    dt, are you entertained by all this craziness on your comment wall? some of it is kinda funny & some of it scares me a little.

    • delicioustacos October 27, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

      Some great, enlightening comments here. Folks are really elevating the discussion.

      • delicioustacos October 27, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

        You know, Nikol and Richard’s relationship would make a great short story. I’m going to work on that this weekend.

      • nikolhasler October 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

        No. It wouldn’t.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

        :( There need to be few Richard Lees in LA.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

        Oh. Em. Eff. Gee. Nikol. Nikol. Dude. No words. He’s got a great personality, right? I mean, before. This has to be a good story because you’re kinda cute and…I’m shocked.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 5:35 pm #

        His partner is hot though.

  9. sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 5:47 pm #

    Wait, so someone is pretending to be FG AND R. Lee? I don’t like mysteries…DT, you should start worrying about your safety.

    • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 5:50 pm #

      Did this person also fake Cathy the other day? Or was that unexpected turn real? Damn it!

      • cathy October 27, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

        wait, sylvia, did someone really write from my name? i haven’t posted anything here for a couple of months. can you tell me where it is?

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 7:43 pm #

        Is something going on? I tried to post this like four times.

        Here Cathy
        http://delicioustacos.com/2012/10/12/pet-theory-barack-obama-sucks-now-because-he-quit-smoking/

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

        Cathy, go to the one about his pet theory of how quitting smoking changed Obama. I tried to post the link but it won’t post.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 7:22 pm #

        It has to be R. Lee right? Because random people wouldn’t know that R Lee slept with Nikol. I care way too much about this. Get a damned forum DT!!!

      • R. Lee October 27, 2012 at 7:44 pm #

        Stop blaming me for everything. It is not me. I am not that prolific, and I have never posted as fake girlfriend or Cathy. You are getting paranoid, too.

      • sylviasarah October 27, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

        Hey, it’s not paranoid. I’m just wondering who it is. This went from a simple post with aims of helping mankind to a mystery case for Scooby and his crew. I don’t think it was you, but it’s someone you all know. Someone in a city with a name consisting of two names who uses a Mac os. Who is also starting to creep me out. I can’t stand not knowing.

    • Cathy October 28, 2012 at 7:36 am #

      Sylvia, thank u for telling me about my fake comment. I’m disturbed that people post from my name and that anyone believes I would write mean shit to/about anyone on these comment walls. Ask DT & Nikol – they know how non-confrontational I am. Sylvia, I am not going to post anymore comments after this so if you see anything from me after this, it’s not me. Can I message you personally? What’s your email?

      • sylviasarah October 28, 2012 at 9:45 am #

        Aw, Cathy I should have known better. I feel bad that you feel you can’t post anymore, you should if you want. Now that everyone knows about the troll I think it’s okay to keep up if you want because we’ll be looking for writing style. I really should have known better and I’m sorry this makes you feel bad. You can totally message me :) dontrapemeface@gmail.com

  10. Emily/Real Fake Girlfriend October 28, 2012 at 7:53 am #

    Omg. Someone started posting as “Emily” too. What is the motivation behind this? To make me seem bitching or dumber than you already think I am? I won’t ever comment here again–for the sake of clarity–so that DT knows its never me anymore.

    • nikolhasler October 28, 2012 at 10:08 am #

      You guys don’t have to stop posting. Just sign up for a gravatar so you can post with that. Anyone can post with anyone’s name. But if you only post from your personal gravatar, that’s how people will know it’s actually you.

    • sylviasarah October 28, 2012 at 10:09 am #

      Don’t let the terrorists win!

  11. Anonymous October 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm #

    Is herpes included in that? They say 10% of the population has genital herpes, and I’d imagine that 10% would include people with the sexual habits of Elena and DT.

  12. jen November 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    just found this post. i’ve fucked guys for money, fucked drug dealers, enjoy taking it raw, prefer smashing my drugs (i.e. needle use), fucked guys in porn theatres, in public, off the internet, etc. etc. NEVER HAD AN STI.

  13. anonymous_slut May 4, 2014 at 3:21 am #

    Hahaha, I love your post. I fucked 40 dudes, almost all of them without a condom and have no fucking STD. STD’s are bullshit.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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