Old News: Adria Richards

22 Mar

This is a post about this person.

Adria Richards is not a person. She is a hologram reverse engineered by woman-hating reactionaries to perfectly fulfill every antifeminist nightmare. There is just no way that this human being can really exist.

Or if she does, I salute her canniness. She is the hedgehog who knows one thing: how to latch on to PC self-flagellants with computer money and promote herself without actually doing any work or spreading any knowledge. She is a perfect creature of our time.

She doesn’t deserve death threats, but, as a Developer Evangelist she ought to know that a twitter death threat is as credible as a craigslist ad for free pussy. The guy didn’t deserve to get fired but, who knows. Maybe they just needed an excuse. He mentioned liking his job, which means he sucked at it. If you’re leaving enough on the table to be happy at the end of the day you aren’t a productive worker. Like a wise man once said, what would it take for them to kick Jordan out of the league versus a guy riding the bench?

Back to her, though– her whole life was building to this moment. Her reason for being is to get famous by being offended. This is her Ulysses. A success beyond her wildest dreams. I am the most famous offended person in the world, and rivers of fresh offences just keep flowing in. They want to rape me, they want to kill me. She felt like Joan of Arc when she heard the dick joke, she said. Imagine how her mouth watered when they said they really wanted to wheel her to the stake. Death threats! She thinks, in the tone of a thirteen year old girl asking Bieber to the dance and hearing “yes.”

There is nothing but calculation happening behind Adria Richards’ eyes. She is not a person. She is what happens when you feed a bunch of slogans from a cultural studies department meeting at a third tier stoner college into a hat and just keep picking them out at random. African Americans Can’t be Racist Marginalized Privilege Rape Culture Hegemonic Cisnormative Microaggression. She got this job and then in her heart she was just begging them to fire her. Or better still, begging for them to say something racially insensitive, or– God– dare she hope to be sexually harassed? Waiting and praying for that one magic slight that would launch her up to the Olympus of self-pitying internet scolds. And then this… this. Fucking Powerball.

Meanwhile, somewhere, a genocide survivor is off to a productive day, not dwelling on it.

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25 Responses to “Old News: Adria Richards”

  1. Retrenched March 22, 2013 at 8:29 pm #

    She’s like every manosphere cliche about the militant, intolerant, perenially offended totalitarian feminist brought to life.

  2. lolcopterpilot March 22, 2013 at 8:39 pm #

    Well said Mr. Tacos.

  3. Zero March 22, 2013 at 10:54 pm #

    it really is mind dongling that a person like her really exists.

  4. Anonymous March 22, 2013 at 11:21 pm #

    “1: Your Original Is Having A Complete Human Change Meltdown Makeover”

    http://www.thewhitereview.org/art/ryan-trecartin-the-real-internet-is-inside-you/

    • Anonymous March 23, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

      I linked this work here because this post of yours, especially, is inventive in it’s grammar and generally audacious language. you could excel in that direction–with your latin base. you have the balls and the instincts to truly re-hash prose.

      • Anonymous March 23, 2013 at 1:12 pm #

        “She is a hologram reverse engineered by woman-hating reactionaries to perfectly fulfill every antifeminist nightmare.”
        DT

        ” Am i over existing or overexisting …that’s my inside joke”
        RT

        (Shakespeare 2.0)

  5. Tamburlaine March 23, 2013 at 6:40 am #

    To be fair, spending years in a death camp and surviving genocide is WAY less tramatic than hearing someone make a juvenile dick joke at a developer’s conference.

    • jurko March 23, 2013 at 8:12 pm #

      Yep, I can’t comprehend how one could even compare these things. Genocide has nothing on a forking dongle.

  6. Spoos in August March 23, 2013 at 7:55 am #

    Very well said.

    It puts the whole thing in perspective; it’s unfortunate that our society lacks the discipline to simply ignore such trolls, because they would quickly wither in their own discontent without attention to sustain them.

    • sylviasarah March 23, 2013 at 10:30 am #

      Wurd? Talk about a double standard. More than half the guys that read this blog would turn in fat bitches if there were a policy against fatties but she has a distaste for dick jokes and she’s lacking discipline.

      • jimmy conway March 23, 2013 at 4:55 pm #

        You’ve been getting uppity lately. What’s up with that?

      • sylviasarah March 23, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

        According to everyone else, almost everything I put on here is uppity.

      • sylviasarah March 23, 2013 at 5:28 pm #

        Anyway, that doesn’t take away from my point. Most of the stuff these guys don’t like has to do with the fact that there are rules that defend not straight men and any time people bring those rules up, these guys don’t like it. But DT writes about all fat chicks should lose weight, they love it.

      • sylviasarah March 23, 2013 at 9:34 pm #

        Also, because I’m bored, the history of the word ‘uppity’ is pretty messed up and as a woman, I don’t appreciate it’s use here. Nah, just kidding. But seriously, it’s sad. Like ‘retard’.

      • jimmy conway March 24, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

        Hey, at least I didn’t a call a black person “uppity.” This time.

        I’m too lazy to look up any posts, but I don’t recall DT bashing fat chicks too often. He seems to like them.

      • sylviasarah March 24, 2013 at 6:19 pm #

        Lol, nice.
        And I didn’t say he hates fatties. He screws them and leaves them like he does with thin chicks. I was talking about the reactions of his readers.

      • Kaywhole March 25, 2013 at 11:32 am #

        I find fat women to be repulsive but I would never try to get one fired for joking about her saggy tits or whatever. That’s a human being who probably needs that job to survive. That’s much more important than this cunt’s feelings; even if you believe she was truly offended to begin with (I doubt it)

      • sylviasarah March 25, 2013 at 10:58 pm #

        Yeah, I don’t know that she was intentionally trying to get that guy fired. Today I saw a black guy intimidate an old guy into giving up his seat. If I were to tweet something about wishing I were black so I could get seats, I wouldn’t be trying to get him fired. You guys want to make all kinds of rules about courtesy and cunts staying in line but cunts try to keep men in line and some magical transformation happens where the cunt is just wrong. Can’t even voice opinions anymore. Talk about this country going to hell.

  7. end is nigh March 23, 2013 at 10:39 am #

    “Cisnormative” –god help us, this is country is finished

  8. halibetlector March 23, 2013 at 12:52 pm #

    “He mentioned liking his job, which means he sucked at it.”

    I get the impression you’re not indoctrinated in the cult of Startup. Thank your lucky stars on that one, it’s a thoroughly bizarre place to be.

    There’s an unspoken and undocumented code of conduct in Startup-land, one of which is you must ALWAYS say you’re happy with your job. Suggesting otherwise is seen as insubordination and will result in various passive aggressive consequences from your boss (who, a lot of the time, is also the CEO and founder). The idea of “culture” is more important to startups than individual people, no matter how much they contribute. Any negativity is perceived as a threat to the bottom line. Founders make a lot of money by pushing the fallacy that startups are close-knit families with a burning passion for the product they’re making. It makes it easier to get them to work staggering hours and sacrifice their personal lives for their product.

    Something else that often gets glossed over is it takes an act of god to get fired from a startup company. Firing an employee is tantamount to saying they made a mistake, which makes them look weak to VCs and Angel investors. VCs have been known to pull out of investments for far weaker reasons. As soon as their confidence in the company wavers, even a little, they’re gone.

  9. bojangles March 25, 2013 at 7:40 am #

    touche Mr Tacos, this Adria girl has previous too

  10. Ruxman March 26, 2013 at 5:15 pm #

    If that’s what was pertinent for her at the conference then she’s in the wrong field anyway. And like you said, the same applies for the two dudes as well, sounds like the universe putting things in order, the admin work it fell behind on.

  11. Revo Luzione March 26, 2013 at 10:30 pm #

    Tacos,

    You are the Hunter S. Thompson of this generation. You twisted, sick bastard, you better keep writing. This is some fine shit here. I read you often but rarely ever comment, this one was so damned good I had to. This is by far the best treatment of donglegate in the interwebs, hands down.

    Viva La Raza,

    Revo

  12. ballerines longchamp May 8, 2013 at 9:18 am #

    I’m gone to inform my little brother, that he should also pay a visit this weblog on regular basis to take updated from newest gossip.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Make Up To Zero Dollars A Week On Your Computer, Without Leaving Home | delicioustacos - March 27, 2013

    […] I don’t have to take some editor’s pre-prepared stand on a Gluten Free Lifestyle™ or Adria Richards™ or The 40 Hottest Women in Tech™ . No one with money is buying the good shit. They are selling […]

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