Naked Pictures

26 Apr

Nikol’s right.  I am an asshole for emailing (REDACTED)’s naked pictures to a scummy dude in exchange for naked pictures of a Chinese prostitute.

But– how are you going to have naked pictures of a girl and not show them to other guys?  Someone tell me, because I have never once heard of it happening.  A guy having naked pictures of his girlfriend and discreetly keeping them in his private possession and never showing them to anybody.  Just wistfully jacking off to them once in a while after they break up.  Maybe if the girl was fiendishly ugly.

But (REDACTED) is attractive.  They are beautiful pictures of her vagina, taint and butthole.  Not even her face!  She cannot be identified!  That could be anybody’s twat and asshole; it could be Nancy Reagan. How am I going to be sitting on these fucking things for years and not show anybody?  That’s like– if they faked the moon landing, do you really think every person involved would take that secret to the grave? If 9/11 was an inside job, not ONE person would eventually crack and come forward? You’re holding on to this crazy secret, this conspiracy of hot waxed taint; you know Nixon was behind the Watergate burglary and you’re just going nuts every second of every day with it gnawing at you.  Some day you’re gonna call Woodward and Bernstein and say LOOK! LOOK AT THE PUSSY I GOT!

But still. It was wrong. She told me not to show anybody and I showed somebody.  Who is gonna show a bunch more people I’m sure; he takes tons of pictures of whores he fucks and spreads them all over town.  His pics were hot.  I’m gonna jack off to them.

There’s a thing with men.  With wanting the esteem of other men, maybe even more than wanting the women that are the source of that esteem. Even if those other men are scumbags.  Even if it means becoming a scumbag yourself. But also, you just really want to see a new cooch.

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25 Responses to “Naked Pictures”

  1. dressyarson April 26, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

    I can’t identify with this sentiment at all. I have libraries of photos and videos of nearly every girl I’ve banged in the past few years and I never show anyone. And they are all ridiculously hot. I’ve no interest at all in showing other men. It is, however, very reassuring during prolonged dry spells to see my dong going into young girls. This really happened, it was really that good, etc. If anything, I’m a little tempted to show women I want to bang, like a resume. “Would your ass like to be this ass,” gesture to screen.

  2. Anonymous April 26, 2013 at 2:50 pm #

    Why would she ever have believed you when you said you wouldn’t show? You aren’t as much a dick for sharing now–but for coercing then with a blatant lie.

    • Anonymous April 26, 2013 at 3:01 pm #

      Trust is a turn on.

    • Anonymous April 26, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

      Trust is the turn on. That’s the trade she made. There is so much that you don’t understand.

  3. Dope Elle Gagger April 26, 2013 at 5:53 pm #

    Huh. I’ve never done that.

    I wouldn’t rule out sending a girl’s pics around town/state/the entire internet, if the situation or my own lax morality demanded it. But I am building a nice collection of photos and have never quite had the urge to share.

    After all, it’s My Little Collection. My photocollage of souls

  4. Ruxman April 26, 2013 at 8:42 pm #

    My last girlfriend sent me a pic of her ass in panties, the file name along with a lot of other internet nomenclature said ‘tumblr’ in it. Great I get the same pic that all the other keyboard jockeys get to see too.

  5. jake April 26, 2013 at 10:08 pm #

    If you posted the pictures on your blog thing, you’d have a million zillion views, and a million zillion comments from guys telling you how awesome you are.

    Would go well with the stories, too. Maybe.

  6. Anonymous April 27, 2013 at 7:52 am #

    Jesus, DT. I hope you learn from a few comments here that there is no competition. Your inferiority complex is so severe that you’ve created one-/you are considering the response to what you have before and during really even having it. I remember that while on a date with you –you were constantly assessing the degree to which other men wanted me –and resented you for having me. I had never encountered that kind of ‘compliment’ before and it made me very uncomfortable. It is pretty sick. You are a status junkie. You are missing what is right in front of you. You are wasting joy comparing.—competing. Status junkie –shit. You were sort of destined for bullshit jobs in television.
    Damn that is sad.

    • You think if DT made it in television this blog would be full of posts about him neurotically weighing the pros and cons of getting a nose job. Or tediously comparing the extras of the Mercedes E class compared to the BMW M series while deciding which one to buy?

  7. Cakes and Shakes... April 27, 2013 at 10:51 am #

    Next stop: live tweeting the lay. Seriously, you AND the girl should live tweet next time. You: “Yeah look at her getting off on me” Her: “Wow I really like his wallpaper…” think of the potential…

    • Anonymous April 27, 2013 at 11:01 pm #

      It’s called ‘vine’
      Try it

  8. nikolhasler April 27, 2013 at 12:02 pm #

    Any of your stories that start with “Nikol is right.” make me happy.

    Anyway, man, it’s just a shitty thing to do. Also, why did you WANT to see pictures of his whores? Can’t you just look online and see a bunch of other women naked who you have never met? What’s so appealing about seeing pics of women who had to take that disgusting sack of kim-chee’s chubb into them for 100 bucks? And as for him taking those photos, I never got that. While I understand the appeal of getting naked photos of girls who willingly fucked you, I don’t understand how he could use those photos as bragging rights when he paid the chicks to sleep with him. “Look what I could afford.”

    • delicioustacos April 27, 2013 at 12:37 pm #

      Let’s not start the flamewar between you and this gentleman again. I’m trying to run a family friendly blog here.

    • Little Miss S April 27, 2013 at 5:38 pm #

      I definitely agree about the prostitute aspect, the pics would be much more boast-worthy if they were of a girl who wanted to fuck you for free.

  9. Little Miss S April 27, 2013 at 5:36 pm #

    I’ve always assumed my naked pics will be shown to the guy’s friends, don’t even bother to ask not to. I show MY friends the cock pics I receive (although guys probably WANT that to happen). If her face isn’t visible, I don’t see a problem with it.

  10. Anonymous April 28, 2013 at 1:39 pm #

    I keep the same standards for everyone — no one’s special; no one gets naked pics. If you’re able to get me in bed, then you should realize that that is a rarity — you are fucking god damned special. I get multiple marriage proposals a year. Guys are attempting to fly me out all the time — but, also, they attempt to establish some sort of “control” over and “own” me in some manner.

    Fuck that jive.

    There’s something to be said about integrity, and the caustic, sneering criticisms that spew out of the comment sections from resurrecting the polished turds of eight month old rough drafts should give you a heads up, and they may or may not help with whatever improvements in your self-realization or interpersonal relationships you may have been making since you left your job.

    Alchemy’s hard insofar that there really is no point in attempting to turn lead into gold or shit to Shinola — the problem therein lies in the fact that self-doubt removes clarity of vision and makes it to where one can’t tell the difference between shit to Shinola within themselves and their work. This lack of perspective happens and is normal; though, it is dealt with and managed by the feedback loops and ebb and flow, expansion and contraction of one’s energies and connections with the rest of the world. “Homogeneous landscapes — whether linguistic, cultural, biological, or genetic — are brittle and prone to failure.”*

    Maybe you should figure out the blather in your “Timing” post is more than just “timing” — it’s about whether or not you can readily acclimate and open yourself to new situations, new possibilities. To make connections. Establish bonds. Build relationships. If you’re struggling to find new content to post on the site, you should break outside of your comfort zone and go and *live* life. The content will come. The protagonist engages the reader through struggle and triumph, no? Fighting the inner demons. Putting themselves out there. It’s a very vulnerable place to be in. It’s uncomfortable.

    Sorta like love and relationships — a vulnerable place to be in. It’s uncomfortable.

    The hardest and most rewarding part of being an artist is putting yourself out there and being embraced by your audience. It’s a great leap, but you gotta have faith.

    “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
    and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
    you must believe that one of two things will happen:

    There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
    or, you will be taught how to fly”

    A majority of your work is that self-revelatory inner monologue. You became tired of the daily grind of doing the same thing over and over again; a lot of the unrest stemmed from the robot of shifts and shadows you became. So, you’d grind your meat into some new pussy. The meat grinder. Maybe in hazy half-hearted hopes, wishing one was an *actual* garbage disposal. It’s a great act of self-loathing.

    You were struggling to feel, again; break out of the hollow depersonalization that is mechanical movements. I mean, what’s the point of wielding a mithral bastard sword if you’re just tracing past quests? Joseph Campbell had a point.

    Try something new. Eight month old posts won’t bring you redemption but a reinforcement of the shitty behaviors that brought you to that place you so desperately wanted to escape.

    Choose your own adventure.

    • Anonymous April 28, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

      * “Today’s idea: Is the loss of language and culture connected to the extinction of plant and animal species in a globalized ‘epidemic of sameness’? Welcome to the ‘science of resilience’ — an interdisciplinary study of the value of diversity in complex systems.”

      http://ideas.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/14/the-science-of-resilience/

    • Anonymous April 29, 2013 at 1:22 pm #

      “If you’re able to get me in bed, then you should realize that that is a rarity — you are fucking god damned special. I get multiple marriage proposals a year. Guys are attempting to fly me out all the time”

      LOL, try harder, writing utter garbage to make yourself seem special. Even if you have some looks, that shit is on a time limit so enjoy it while you can but stop trying to convince yourself and randoms on a comment board that you’re something special.

      • nikolhasler April 29, 2013 at 3:32 pm #

        I find it irritating when people go on and fucking on about how marketable they are and act like sleeping with them is a privilege. I was just saying as much to the millionth person to propose to me this week.

        Listen, if you think you’re doing the world favors with your pussy, hold off. Only fuck people because you want them real bad or you’re bored and they’re there. Chances are they’re fucking you because they’re bored and you’re there, too.

    • Anonymous April 29, 2013 at 1:26 pm #

      “This lack of perspective happens and is normal; though, it is dealt with and managed by the feedback loops and ebb and flow, expansion and contraction of one’s energies and connections with the rest of the world.”
      What complete pseudo-intellectual bullshit, meant to sound smart but really says almost nothing of value.

      “You were struggling to feel, again; break out of the hollow depersonalization that is mechanical movements. I mean, what’s the point of wielding a mithral bastard sword if you’re just tracing past quests? Joseph Campbell had a point.
      Try something new. Eight month old posts won’t bring you redemption but a reinforcement of the shitty behaviors that brought you to that place you so desperately wanted to escape.
      Choose your own adventure.”
      You are trying SO hard to sound smart. Lol at people who read a Joseph Campbell book and think they have it all figured out. You remind me of the idiot actresses who think they’re spouting nuggets of original wisdom when all they’re doing is showcasing how idiotic they really are.

    • Anonymous April 29, 2013 at 3:02 pm #

      “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
      and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
      you must believe that one of two things will happen:
      There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
      or, you will be taught how to fly”

      Lmfao, how cliche can you be. Thanks for the quote that fifteen million seniors had in their highschool yearbook profile. Fuck, DT, this fat broad really wants to make an impression on you. Maybe you should make a DT shaped impression in the fleshy folds of her ass.

  11. dannyfrom504 April 29, 2013 at 3:06 pm #

    did i ever send you my christmas card dude? let me know, if not, i’ll email you a copy.

    copping nakie pics is HELLA easy. lol.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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