Ass Eating

26 Jun

A girl was eating my ass. It was my first time. I had merely asked her to tickle my back but she misinterpreted this as wanting my ass eaten and being too shy to ask. 

It wasn’t quite arousing, but it was really just… sweet, gentle, and intimate. More about her long hair tickling my ass cheeks than the actual, you know, the tongue going in my asshole. She had eaten a mint or chewed strong gum beforehand.  I felt minty afterwards. 

I couldn’t help thinking about my shit that morning.  My second shit, which had spinach leaves in it.  I kept thinking: don’t let her go so deep that she eats my shit spinach.  Then thinking about spinach made me think about Popeye and I had to keep trying not to laugh thinking about Popeye shooting a thin stream of fire from his pipe to open a can of spinach, and then pounding the contents, and his biceps expanding and appearing to contain an old-timey factory with dancing smokestacks that produced tanks which then shot Bluto in the face. I kept thinking what if she ate a piece of my ass spinach and turned into Popeye.

Anyway.

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9 Responses to “Ass Eating”

  1. mindweapon June 26, 2013 at 2:05 pm #

    That’s an unsafe practice. There’s bacteria in the ass that can make you very sick like e coli and other ickies.

    • Oh c’mon. Maybe if you make her eat your hairy shitcaked ass directly after taking a shit you might wind up with e coli, but that’s it. Now gay bowel syndrome, that’s a different story.

    • earl June 27, 2013 at 5:04 am #

      Well that should tell you what type of woman this fellow was dealing with.

      Personally she can have the shit spinach.

  2. Zack Hunter June 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm #

    Yum

  3. vsoze June 26, 2013 at 6:14 pm #

    hahahahhaa. sweet jesus.

  4. ARoss June 26, 2013 at 9:08 pm #

    50 Shades of Anal Leakage…

  5. Anonymous June 26, 2013 at 11:21 pm #

    I love you.

  6. JC June 27, 2013 at 10:36 pm #

    I just went from six to midnight.

  7. Raul Felix June 28, 2013 at 2:53 pm #

    She tossed your salad, hopefully she didn’t get a spinach salad.

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