Archive | Women RSS feed for this section

Reader Mailbag: Have You Had Your Prostate Milked During Orgasm

21 Nov

res detail

No. I’ve had my prostate milked by a urologist to diagnose infection. Don’t want girls in my ass. And you don’t see many girls with such low self esteem that they’ll put in the effort. Or any.

Did have a date last week who licked my armpits. Tongued down my taint like a giraffe reaching for a high branch. She mentioned ass eating. I wondered if I ought to present. You don’t get it often. Maybe you should catch a falling star. Continue reading

Dear Angela

11 Nov

coot ripple


I wrote another thing about you. The point of it was I wouldn’t be jealous anymore. Jealous of your stupid friend who comes in my comments, hooting about how much he tears up your ass. You fuck men for cash and prizes. Some of them are famous. Inventors. Spies. I don’t care about any of them. But this guy got to me. He has what I want with you. Come over a few nights a week and party. I can’t party anymore. Too old. Have to get up early. Write. Then I can’t write. I feel like less than a man. Fucking another girl didn’t take it away. Maybe liking another girl would. I want to like a girl like I like you. Continue reading

Dirty Mexican Cunt

25 Oct
image stolen from

image stolen from


I stole this title from some other writer she’s fucking now. She sent me one of his poems. I had to beg her. She does not want to discuss her love life. Afraid it will make me like her less. Well it did, but the poem didn’t make me jealous. That would have been a problem. He has another one called Dirty Mexican Twat, she said. Parenthetically: it’s not about me.

This one is about you. Continue reading

Don’t Take Your Love to Town

12 Oct


She came home in at four in the morning. Passed out with a desk lamp blaring straight in her eyes. She’d been out riding a motorcycle with a male model who tends bar at (REDACTED). If you could cheat you would too. What you’re mad about is you can’t. Continue reading

Weekend Journal: Toxic Masculinity

7 Oct

shame face

She’s still in the shower. I just learned Hepatitis C is not transmitted sexually. Per the Hepatitis C Association, which I may now have to join:

  1. Couples with one HCV positive partner had a 2.5 per cent transmission rate over 20 years of unprotected sex
  2. HCV is not found in semen or vaginal fluid
  3. Sexual transmission may be a factor among MSM (Men who have Sex with Men)

So you get Hep C if you fuck men. Your dick gets cut by his dry ass. His ass gets cut by your dry dick. But I fuck women. Therefore: call me sushi, I’m goin in raw. Continue reading

Diary: I’ll Die Alone if I Don’t Get Famous

16 Sep


Two girls left me in two days. I’ll die alone if I don’t get famous.

I need more women fans. More women fans under 30. More women fans under 30 who live in Los Angeles. I need more women fans under 30 in Los Angeles who are Asian. The only race I stay attracted to. Even then just barely. Eight dates, I don’t want to fuck them anymore. Continue reading

I’d Rather Watch Hitler Rape My Mom Than Date a Woman My Own Age

12 Sep


I have a date tonight. 38 years old. Look at her profile. Half Asian with excellent bone structure. But who cares. What am I gonna do, have kids with her? One quarter Asian kids with half a good looking face? She’s 38. Biologically useless. Fucking her, as productive as sticking my dick in a log. Plus she’s banged 10,000 indie rock bassists no doubt. Has herpes and the bad kind of HPV. The log it is then. Continue reading


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 327 other followers