OKCupid: To Match a Predator

14 Dec

hansen ass

Hey my name is Katy but friends call me Pixie because I’m so tiny! I’m a sweetheart if you get to know me. I’m trying the internet because people in real life assume I am much younger than I am so I am tired of 12-16 year old boys hitting on me lol!

The first things people usually notice about me
my size. i am 5’4 and 83 pounds. I know I look 12 but I’m 18.  I have ID lol!

I’m looking for
•    Guys who like girls
•    Ages 19–49

You ever wonder where they find guys so fucking stupid that they think a nubile 15 year old with puffy nipples is going to seduce a pudgy hunchback with cerebral palsy?  Apparently, it’s OKCupid.

I was searching for 18 year old girls looking for casual sex with older men, as is my wont.  Most of them are looking for guys their own age, but once in a while you get a winner.  And in any case, younger girls put whore photos and links to their nudes and stuff.  It’s good for a jerk if nothing else.  But I kept running into CLEARLY underage girls claiming to want a grizzled disgusting elderly meatpipe such as my own.

These are real pics & profile blurbs.  I blacked out the faces, because… what if they are real girls?  What if they’re real 18 year old girls who just happen to have that syndrome from Orphan, or some hormonal imbalance, or were malnourished, and they’re just innocently posting shots of their ass in a thong the size of a shoelace and talking about how they’re looking to be “bred” by a “daddy?”  What if it’s a real eighteen year old girl bemoaning how guys her age act like they’re twelve and she’s sick of getting hit on by these pimply bumbling coevals, how she really wants an older guy who’s gonna be as kinky and sick and twisted as her?  What if these are just real innocent girls looking for adult consensual sex where they roleplay as a child to a horny middle aged man, girls who by happenstance also have no secondary sex characteristics, but swear they’re 18 even though they look 12 LOL!!!  Even if some of their pictures clearly show them with junior high classmates?


I’m just a girl in a new town looking to have a good time 🙂 After my relationship that crashed and burned from cheating on my boyfriend a lot, I just kind of want to find people to have sex with 🙂 Right now, I’m kind of looking for one of three things sexually; a daddy, being bred (whatever you think that means :P), or something crazy (the crazier and more weird the better)

The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes – +how young I look :/
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m kind of a nympho 😛

What if they’re just 18 year old underdeveloped girls looking online for casual sex with an aging middle manager just like you, Bob, who has chemically burned his scrotum trying to apply just Just For Men mustache blacking to his white and wiry ball hairs?  What if this is finally the day you’ve prayed for?  You’re gonna drive over with your dildos and self-warming lube condoms and other useless tools that you read somewhere are essential for kinky pleasure and show up and she’s gonna show you a valid California ID and then it’s ON, Bob, it’s fucking ON– no more of that cold yeasty blimp hangar your wife calls a pussy, this is the tight hot snatch of a teenager, the way it was meant to be.  Maybe after your many and prolonged acts of coitus she’ll hesitantly gaze into your eyes, stumbling a little on the words…. Bob… I kind of… like you.  Like, like like you.  Quit your job and take me away from all this.  Let’s move out to the desert where it’s ten cents an acre and just raise goats and make babies all day.

It can’t be true, right?  But what if?  What if you’re stepping over a winning lottery ticket, Bob?  You’d never forgive yourself.

Nice photoshop work on the rack. Very realistic.

Nice photoshop work on the rack. Very realistic.

Women in my family carry all our weight on our chest so I was thinking about a breast reduction because all that weight up top is a pain for a dancer, but I I want to remain all natural so I chose not to. I am also bi but prefer men way more:)

I’m looking for
•    Guys who like girls
•    Ages 25–50

Of course, no.  You’re gonna message her, she’s gonna pull you into some chatroom, and:

Pixie69: so Bob are u gonna breed me?  u gonna cum inside me with that big cock?

Bobarian: (deciding to deal with the misrepresentation of his cock size later, perhaps with forced perspective) u know i am!

Pixie69: Bob, can I tell u a secret?

Bobarian: anything

Pixie69: i’m…. i’m not as old as i told u i am!!! don’t be mad.

Bobarian: uh, jeez… are you serious? lol

Pixie69: but i PROMISE i won’t ever tell anybody bob, my parents are out of town and i’m SOOOO HORNYY!!!

Just humping my bed, wishing it was your gray moldy cock.

Just humping my bed, wishing it was your gray moldy cock.

Hello my name is Anna and I grew up in Switzerland. Sorry my English is not so perfect. I like to meet caring older gentleman for love and to teach me new things.

I’m looking for
•    Guys who like girls
•    Ages 29–59

You should message me if
you are nice older gentleman also like kind younger girl

I’m not gonna get into the morality of To Catch a Predator and Perverted Justice and all that other shit– basically I agree with this.  All I want to add is that I KNOW about these entrapping vigilantes.  I KNOW these profiles are bullshit.  I KNOW that no good can possibly come from messaging these girls, except I get put on some list and start getting constant IM come-ons and some night when I’m drunk I chat the wrong thing to some decoy, not seeing the part where she drops the fake “I’m 14 lol” bomb, and next thing you know I’m in PC with the fucking cerebral palsy guy having to listen to him thrash around all night.

But still.  Some debased part of me thinks: what if it’s real.  What harm can come from sending a message. 

What could possibly go wrong?

6 Responses to “OKCupid: To Match a Predator”

  1. Guestopher December 16, 2012 at 8:29 pm #

    This pisses me off so much. You covered the faces, but I take your word that they had the faces of young-looking women of 18 and weren’t missing teeth or something. It’s like there’s something wrong with wanting to hook up with a sexually available girl who is 18 and looks young for her age. The profile shouldn’t be dripping with sex like that. It’s fucked.

    And a lot of women are actually in to that daddy-daughter age difference, but it’s men who are policed. Thanks Red Pill

  2. Anonymous December 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm #

    You know why this is getting so few replies? Because its fucking boring DT. Jesus. Rerun bullshit that just doesn’t have anything to say except for you and your sex hunt are getting old.

    • Anon December 17, 2012 at 11:06 pm #

      Shut the fuck up, faggot. Why don’t you show us your fucking blog.

  3. sylviasarah December 17, 2012 at 10:15 pm #

    There is no way the second chick is of age. The others, I could see it but not the second one.

    • Anonymous December 18, 2012 at 10:40 am #

      as an asiant, i say trooorrringgg

      • sylviasarah December 18, 2012 at 10:46 am #

        Are you Asian in the style of Tyler Perry’s Madea?

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