More Women

3 Mar

old tapestry

This post is fictional.

**

Jeni

I like your profile, said Jeni. And I (he looked at it) like yours, he wrote.

It said, three times:

!!!NO FLAKES!!!

Would you like to meet at Sunset Beer, he said. She said see you there

He put on his best clothes. Walked to the bar. Opened a tab.

She never came.

**

Sarah

Sarah wanted to fuck me. I can tell but couldn’t pull the trigger. It wouldn’t be an accomplishment. She’s 40. But I thought about the idea of being on top of her. Squashing her, pulling her head back by her hair and slamming my big rigid pipe into her tiny body. Bottoming out so it hurts her. Then asking: is this OK.

**

Lisa

The little blonde girl with the thick thighs came up to me after the AA meeting. I’d spent the hour staring at the inside of her knee. Her soft skin. Little daisy dukes. Thinking about licking the day’s salty sweat off her. All the way up her leg. Her hot smelly little heroin addict cunt. She had a tattoo of a cobra on her calf. Another one of a spade on her finger. Meaty little ass. She came up to me. I kept trying to leave but she kept talking. She wanted me to fuck her. I left to take a work related call.

**

Lara

Now she wants a sexless date with me. After I fucked her when we first met and then fucked her again two years later, she wants to not fuck me. Fine. You drive then. You pay for the ice cream, fuckface.

**

Anna

Anna, you dumb piece of shit. Unless you were murdered. Unless he killed you. Wouldn’t put it past him.

I look sometimes at the news in your town. Searching the murders for your generic Mexican name. His generic Russian name. Just to check. Otherwise I hate you. Just fucking talk to me. Just tell me my posts are great, honey– just one more time.

**

No Name

This girl in the gray business suit leaning forward in her chair, arched back, splaying her twat out on the cushion. I want to tongue her out from below. Her synthetic underwear corporate cunt sweat. Spent my hooker budget for the month already and it’s the fucking sixth but I’ll go get jacked off by a fat Thai woman at Oriental Rain Spa. Maybe tonight. Maybe I should jerk off before making this decision… but then I won’t do it.

**

Maricar

What do I want. Won’t know until I jack off. Leering at a woman’s ass in a skirt, very, very slightly transparent, somewhat fat gray office work type blonde but you could see her panties. Navy blue with tiny pink flowers on them. Detailed flowers. I need pussy. Less than two weeks since I discharged a full load of sperm into a fat 18 year old who plays the Pinoy version of gin rummy with her cousins that she sleeps in the same bed with, before they go to work at the $30 whorehouse. She posted about being betrayed on Facebook. Maybe about me. I didn’t answer her 15 consecutive video calls. Maybe some other guy. Which one do I want.

**

Keiko

Keiko the perfect thick Asian. Even her flaw was perfect. Tiny teeth and somewhat but not repulsively large gums. The gums of a ruminant ripping spring leaves off a high acacia branch. She unmatched me on Tinder. She’s Senior Director at Chiat/ Day. Now that I make money I felt worthy of this Japanese professional. 31. Perfect age for yuppies to get married. She’ll need a tall large nosed white man, I reasoned. Not too hot to where he’ll cheat on her. Not too cool to where he’ll quit a (REDACTED) dollar a year job to write self-published novels, bail on her for a third world hooker.

**

Stephanie

Perfect face, like a little girl. That’s what perfect face means. All men want to fuck children. Big titties. Short hair. Half Tunisian half Irish. She told me she broke up with him. We were in the waiting area of a Mexican restaurant. Right after the words left her mouth I pushed her against a coat rack and kissed her. The second time we fucked was in her dorm room. She and her roommate had their beds pushed together. She climbed on me without a condom on. We can do this, she said, but if we make a baby I’m going to keep it. When I think of her now we make the baby. He’d be 25.

8 Responses to “More Women”

  1. master Remote Viewing so i can watch Tiffany Trump shower March 3, 2019 at 2:31 pm #

    whats the title of this book going to be, huh
    The Pussy Alphabet
    sounds gud. nice ring to it. the sequel.
    i’ll purchase one.
    but they denied my unemployment application
    i can pay you in EBT
    yang gang lock in
    if he wins, that free UBI is gonna boost your book sales
    also, this is pretty funny once you get passed the autistic screaming:

  2. J.B March 4, 2019 at 11:06 am #

    Would be great if Roissy Co wrote something with you. Battle of the authors and the written words.

  3. when she axe u if writing is confessional n u reply uhhh of coursh bby fuck yeah it is (: March 4, 2019 at 10:37 pm #

    lil brain: not writing a book at all and instead just blogging for an audience of sexually-frustrated ingrates

    medium brain: writing a book then shilling it on twatter to generate $2300/mo. passiff incum

    big brain: using subtle scott adams art of persuasion to tell ingrates dont buy book dont read blog at all which is more consistent with ur anti-consumerist brand msg

    galactic omni-god: using twatter to shill for #yanggang2020 so u & ur e-bros get free neetbux which will boost book sales long-term and secure early retirement in da south-east-ayyysia

    now ur thinkin grande tacos…the long con. residuals.

  4. albino gyno March 6, 2019 at 3:03 pm #

    tacos, reader mailbag question:
    my brain is racist but muh diccc is not
    wat do

    • delicioustacos March 6, 2019 at 6:46 pm #

      listen to dick

      • cheesy nachos March 6, 2019 at 10:08 pm #

        we’re all gonna make it fren

    • K-hole March 7, 2019 at 1:42 pm #

      smell their pussies. Only whites and asians have good ones.

      • atlantis man March 7, 2019 at 5:47 pm #

        k-hole, look into laos, mongolia, kyrgystan. probably the best 3 places to escape before the impending worldwide financial collapse. or just to vacation. lots of nature.

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