I had a dream that Isolde was pregnant. We were roommates. She was Mexican instead of Filipina. Some discussion that it might be mine. But she’d gone from not showing to a medium size bump instantly. She’d be about 4 or 5 months, we decided. So it was his. He was in the picture before me in this dream. She was wearing a midriff shirt. I could see the belly. Her being Mexican it might have had some downy hair. And she asked if I wanted to stay and take care of it. Continue reading
I’m in the lobby of the doctor’s office waiting for my cancer results. My FWB Isolde who looks like a 15 year old Filipina prostitute is going to the West Coast premier of Dasha’s movie. At the Los Feliz 3 with one of the other dudes she’s fucking. I forget if it’s the one I’m trying to not be threatened by. But it has to be. I took her to the Marine Mammal Care Center. They rehabilitate sick pinnipeds. We saw a female elephant seal. She’s hot– Isolde, not the seal– and she smells good, and when I look at her I can sense myself start to catch feelings. I let it pass. Continue reading
She got scammed by a white guy named Ray who drove a 2005 Toyota Camry. They met in his car. He said he’d give her a check for tuition but needed her routing number. $1800 and she sent him $800 back in Green Dot money cards. For supplies for his business. She had to close her bank account. Her cunt juice stuck my boxers to my balls. Whatever covenant there was between men and women is gone. This is the warlord period.
I got a rub ‘n’ tug. When I came the woman said “ahh, too long alone.”
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In the park a woman asked me to save her from a crazy Mexican trying to molest her. He kept following her, she said. Wanting to give her a drawing. Excuse me this guy’s bothering me, really scaring me. Can you please pretend we’re together. Continue reading
She texted back horseshit about wanting to see me after flaking five times. And I’d had this epiphany. I saw a baby on Twitter. The baby laughed seeing a waterfall for the first time. The next woman I date should be the mother of my children. Continue reading
Going to the Giant Forest. Maybe the Kern River. It’ll be nice just to drive. Sadie Wong’s not coming with me. It’s a fake name but I like the way it sounds. Sadie Wong doesn’t like me. Doesn’t want to spend time with me. She’s gay, or weird, she needs an abusive man. Or something. In any case I didn’t play it right. I didn’t play it at all. I simply “was myself.” And she doesn’t like me. What does that tell you. Continue reading
Girls are boring then surprised when you bore them. You have to be so exciting you can thwart their own boringness. Then when you’re used to playing up excitement you find yourself with a girl who seems to have spiritual grounding. Seems to want you to be decent. Nice. You let yourself show that part of you. You end up just being yourself. And she rejects you.
It can’t be God’s will for me to just to go work every morning. Continue reading
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