Sticky: Savage Spear of the Unicorn

14 Sep

Forgot to put up a sticky post for my new book Savage Spear of the Unicorn. You can buy it here.

If you email me a receipt I’ll send you a free bonus book.

It’s a collection. It has some new stories that aren’t online, which are some of the best stuff I’ve done. It also has stories like What’s Out There, Mark and Universal Basic Woman.

This Woman, Part 7

13 Sep

She texted back horseshit about wanting to see me after flaking five times. And I’d had this epiphany. I saw a baby on Twitter. The baby laughed seeing a waterfall for the first time. The next woman I date should be the mother of my children. Continue reading

This Woman, Part 6

6 Sep

Going to the Giant Forest. Maybe the Kern River. It’ll be nice just to drive. Sadie Wong’s not coming with me. It’s a fake name but I like the way it sounds. Sadie Wong doesn’t like me. Doesn’t want to spend time with me. She’s gay, or weird, she needs an abusive man. Or something. In any case I didn’t play it right. I didn’t play it at all. I simply “was myself.” And she doesn’t like me. What does that tell you. Continue reading

Women, Part 2

2 Sep

Girls are boring then surprised when you bore them. You have to be so exciting you can thwart their own boringness. Then when you’re used to playing up excitement you find yourself with a girl who seems to have spiritual grounding. Seems to want you to be decent. Nice. You let yourself show that part of you. You end up just being yourself. And she rejects you.

The Flake

1 Sep

old coke ad

I wrote this after reading a nasty passage in American Psycho. This is a FICTIONAL EXERCISE and is not about you. Continue reading

I’d Like My Housekeeper to Suck My Dick

15 Aug

I’d like my housekeeper Michelle, who’s about 46, does meth, is periodically homeless, comes up to clean the house leaving her cat locked in the 10,000 degree minivan with food water and a cat litter box in the rumble seat after parallel parking tweaked and ramming two of my neighbors’ cars while they sit in their front yards watching, then calls me to come down and help her find the house so the neighbors see me and know it’s my guest who fucked up their painter’s van– I’d like her to suck my dick. She’s cheerful from the meth. Good bone structure and you can tell she squishes her tongue just so against the frenulum. Suckles hard and with rhythm to make you cum prematurely. Continue reading

This Woman, Part 4

8 Aug

Eurasian_collared-dove_(Streptopelia_decaocto)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

It can’t be God’s will for me to just to go work every morning. Continue reading

This Woman, Part 3

25 Jul

knight-of-cups no label

Part 1

Part 2

I went shooting with her. Showed her how to use the gun. Out past the fire restrictions by Mojave. I’d like to go shooting a hot load of goo right in her ovulating pussy Continue reading

This Woman, Part 2

18 Jul

neowise wikipedia bigger

(Previously)

My love is burning magnesium. White hot then gone. She didn’t text back. I don’t give a shit. Continue reading

This Woman

17 Jul

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She’s hot. My God her ass in her green shorts lying on her stomach on the picnic blanket. She has long puffy nipples. Didn’t see them “in person” but no bra and her sheer white athletic T shirt. I can’t tell what’s going on– maybe some kind of piercing. Which would be unfortunate. But I think long puffy nipples. And I think about sucking one hard with my tongue pushing it into my palate like a baby really working to get milk out of it. While I have two fingers hooked in her making her cum. And then I put a real baby in her who really does suck hard to get milk out of it. Continue reading