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Corona Diaries: We’re Not Gonna Make It

1 Apr

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My aunt has coronavirus. Multiple comorbidities. In a hospital in New York. She won’t make it. Continue reading

Corona Diaries

26 Mar

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What am I doing now? Writing in in the park. Out of the house. Little cold but beautiful. What did I do before. Shot bow and arrows. Mostly looked at Twitter. My brain deteriorating. I don’t want to be typing this now. Want to look at Twitter. Let yourself relax. Cancelled my doctor’s appointment. Didn’t get the mail. I did go to the grocery store, probably doomed my cashier Sophie whose crotch I’d like to chart to the millimeter with my taste buds to certain death by Wuhan coronavirus. Earache is not a symptom of coronavirus. My ear hurts because I bit my tongue. Throat hurts for the same reason. Inflammation around the trigeminal nerve. But now my nose running a little. Rare symptom of coronavirus. It’s coronavirus. Continue reading

Fucking Chelsea

11 Jan

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Here we are at the coffee shop. And fucking Chelsea is here. Didn’t recognize her at first. Don’t know if she recognized me. She’d lost weight. She doesn’t look that good. Until I identify her as a girl I fucked and liked and then ghosted me, and she starts looking gorgeous. Continue reading

I Woke Up Not Horny

14 Dec

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I woke up and wasn’t horny anymore. Lily texted me. We had plans. She comes over and we fuck. I’m sorry she says. I forgot it’s the Sephora Winter Warmup. Staff from all district stores must congregate socially. I say OK. She video calls me. Wants to apologize. I say no problem. I mean it. I don’t want to look at her. Continue reading

Day Off

12 Oct

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Day off. Peace and quiet in the neighborhood. No sound but tinnitus. This morning in the mirror I thought I saw a bald spot. Right where the back of my hair spirals together. Looked again. Trick of the light. Continue reading

The Noise

22 Sep

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Here I am in front of my house. Kevin’s in his kitchen. Windows always open. He thumps around. Clatters pots while screaming. You can ask him to stop making a specific noise at a specific time. But he doesn’t internalize the bigger concept. You shouldn’t do meth and play drums at 2AM. Crank your enormous top of the line subwoofer you bought the day after your new neighbor moved in, before sunrise. Judo throw your fat girlfriend, who screams from the diaphragm like a theater major, into load bearing studs and hollow core doors. Continue reading

The Cat Food

8 Jun

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There’s a feral cat that comes around. He won’t let me pet him. I put out a bowl of water. He didn’t come. Decided I’d try food. Went to CVS. Found the cat food section and went to pick up the can. It was “Tasty Treats in Gravy.” Some kind I used to buy for Bud. And looking at it, feeling the can in my hand, it was like I was buying it for Bud again. Like I’d go home and Bud would be there. And I’d brush him, and then open up a can of Tasty Treats with Gravy and plop half of it into his bowl and he’d– he loved it, he just loved it. If you give him the whole can he’ll puke on the carpet later. Continue reading