Coffee Shop Diary: A Hot Shrew I Want to Fuck

22 Dec

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I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my new novel Finally, Some Good News. This story is fictional, it never happened, and the guy in it is not me. I don’t get horny.


This fat chick in front of me. She’s wearing tight clothing. Thank you, fat chicks who do this. Or not fat, per se. Thick, a thick frame and a big meaty ass and titties. Stocky but not flabby. A solid peasant woman. Tight black pants slipping down half an inch over the tip of her ass crack to show a sliver of robin’s egg blue panties. Her meaty ass bending over. Her ponytail. I would grab that ponytail and snap her head around while plowing raw and deep into that thick buttmeat. I would make her bend over and just look at it. I would eat out her sweaty ass crack in the Los Angeles heat and then sniff her on my sheets for days. Big meaty thick fat chick. Need to get one of those. Shouldn’t be too hard.

Her back. Her bra strap pulling against just a smattering of back fat. Little recesses in the smalls of her back between her hipbones. Women.

Another girl. Cute, with a pinched face like Michael Cera. Maybe 22, 23.

Want to leave the coffee shop but I can’t stop looking at this girl’s ass. Staring down the armhole of her blousy tank top in hope of seeing the side of a titty. Maybe the edge of a nipple. I’m almost forty years old and I treat life like a twelve year old at an R rated movie in 1983. Just waiting for the tits. Waiting for the rest to be over.

Is that her boyfriend? She doesn’t have a single look about her. They look like the type of people who participate in extreme fitness. What a piece of ass that guy has man. Good for him.

This chick. Here’s another one of the exact sort I was just talking about. An actress. The type of girl who lifts up her shirt to show another girl the waistband of her pants in a coffee shop and you have to try hard to not just leer at her creamy midsection. This is why people get mad at fat chicks. This is what you could be. And if there were a million of you any one of you wouldn’t be such a nightmare to get to. If I get this pilot, she’s saying. This is their lives. If I get this pilot. Her face looks all gremliny though.

Yoga class small dog pilates if I get this pilot if I get this pilot if I get this pilot. I hate this man who’s talking to them. Hate that he sounds reasonably intelligent. Like he has an IQ of about 115 and can make people laugh about once every three days. And they’re interested in him. Engaged with him. Why do I not get to hang out with non fat girls who don’t have acne. Why are they celebrities.

This weird girl getting tea with some bobblehead shit going on. She’s hot. I’d fuck her, bobblehead and all. 23 year old Mexican. Best pussy in the world.

She has a giant forehead and an overbite. Face like a shrew. But a hot shrew I want to fuck.

You’d start to notice her weird pear shaped body. Her overlong torso. Her weak chin, squirrely cheeks. Her bad dye job. Why do you color your hair so much, you idiot. Just leave it alone.

Her torso too long. She’d have made a bad show dog. Little black panties sticking out over the waist of her jeans. Some handsome man just went up and kissed her. To hell with her then.

3 Responses to “Coffee Shop Diary: A Hot Shrew I Want to Fuck”

  1. Anonymous December 29, 2018 at 1:12 pm #

    2013. You could have written this yesterday. You’ve been Pussy-begging instead of Job-begging for 5 straight years, now you’re a 40yo male secretary blogging about how he hates his life. You’re a bitch

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