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Fucking Chelsea

11 Jan

portrait-happy-young-asian-business-woman-with-mug-hands-drinking-coffee-morning_7861-821 2

Here we are at the coffee shop. And fucking Chelsea is here. Didn’t recognize her at first. Don’t know if she recognized me. She’d lost weight. She doesn’t look that good. Until I identify her as a girl I fucked and liked and then ghosted me, and she starts looking gorgeous. Continue reading

Motherfucker

31 Aug

no sex in toilet

August 31. If I don’t post today there’s a month with no posts. Who cares. But I’ve been doing this 7 and a half years and never missed one. Don’t want to be the Jew who breaks the 5,000 year tradition.

But I can’t write. My prose no good anymore. I have 20 pages about hookers in Thailand and Cambodia and it’s me impersonating myself. Plus some of that shit could get me arrested. Continue reading

Coffee Shop Diary: Quite an Ass

31 Mar

 

I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my novel Finally, Some Good News. This story is fictional, it never happened, and the guy in it is not me. I don’t get horny. Continue reading

Coffee Shop Diary: A Hot Shrew I Want to Fuck

22 Dec

horniman's japanese poster

I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my new novel Finally, Some Good News. This story is fictional, it never happened, and the guy in it is not me. I don’t get horny.

(2013)

Continue reading

Protected: Coffee Shop Diary: Pussy Capitalism

1 May

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Protected: Coffee Shop Diary: First World Problems

5 Feb

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Protected: Coffee Shop Diary: Ass

14 Jun

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Protected: Coffee Shop Diary: Power Outage

1 Mar

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Protected: Coffee Shop Diary: Megadrought

17 Jan

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Coffee Shop Diary: Cock Magellan

12 May

diverse smiling women

Look at that. Fat floppy Mexican teenage ass in yoga pants. Some men would be appalled by this, but I want to know what that ass looks like naked.

My buddy who travels around the world fucking whores says at some point you get sick of fucking. You’re not horny and you don’t want to cum but you keep buying three dollar malnourished Cambodians anyway because you just want to see what your dick looks like going in a new one. You’re just curious.

That’s the deeper difference between women and men, I think. Not how horny one or the other is but that chimplike curiosity, or the lack of it. Women never see your ass and think what kind of panties is he wearing. They never summon Jedi concentration to envisage a black strip of thong fabric rubbing against a little puckered pink butthole. Does she have a hairy pussy, a waxed pussy, a shaved pussy, an innie, an outie; is it pink, is it dark– hard to guess; she has dark hair green eyes. Continue reading