Archive | January, 2017

Catherine from the Gym

29 Jan

photo56

Out in the park on a stump. Looking at snow capped Mount Baldy. A hummingbird hovers by a tall tree top. A nice day. I have therapy in 30 minutes. It will be the last time. I spent money on this, to get my AA sponsor off my back. Make him stop browbeating me about finding peace with women. It was this or go to Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. The therapist got me through grief about my father. Through panic about my own death. Life slipping away. When it came to women he said: sign up for a community college class. Continue reading

No One Else Gets Laid Either

26 Jan
kerwin-mathews-08

image stolen from waytofamous.com

I’m six foot one. Barely over peak age for a man. Visible obliques. Even in soft light now. I earn ninety four thousand dollars a year. Drive a new car. Live in a cool neighborhood. Not birth defect ugly. Hobbies. Passions. Rough edges but I’m basically a good person; I play guitar at expert level. Draw. Paint. Write at a supernatural level. Travel the world to see monkeys in exotic destinations. Good sense of humor. Discuss any topic. Genuine desire to learn and engage with these stupid women. Not into the rough sex thing but don’t mind wrapping a sinewy gym forearm and/or hand with insane classical guitar grip strength around her– not the throat– you want to cut off her blood supply. I don’t mind using my anatomical knowledge to painlessly crush her carotids while jamming a stiff finger the shitpipe; watch her watch herself sputter and weep in my full length mirror. Which is what it takes all women to cum now. At a minimum. I don’t like it. I do it for her. Continue reading

I Haven’t Had an Intelligent Thought in Five Years

15 Jan

muscovy-duck

Jesus Christ I’m a middle aged man living alone in a one bedroom apartment with no door on the oven. I used to say a dirty toilet but you can eat off it now. I have an app where a different maid comes every month. Never anyone you’d fuck. Nowhere is there ever anyone you’d fuck. Life is work, AA meetings… the gym. Well there are girls at the gym and why don’t you talk to them. Because I’m a pitiful insect. Not rich not famous. I have saddlebags now. Double digit body fat; not fully visible obliques– I’m a hog, in other words. Occasionally a decent writer but that just means girls who don’t live near me want to fuck an imaginary version of me. Who do I have– a married woman in SF, college professor back East. A Chinese girl who lives in Switzerland now because she’s rich. Various red state types. Actually there’s a lot of girls who would fuck me from my stupid web site. So this paragraph that was meant to be a complaint actually makes things look pretty good. 1500 die hard fans contains at least 15 girls who are good looking. I’m pissed none of them has sucked me off this morning. Continue reading

Recent Complaints

15 Jan
Young Asian Female Doctor Angry Show Thumbs Down

image stolen from healthimpactnews.com

My Balls

Don’t let something be wrong with my balls. Yesterday they hurt. Today they’re unusually hot. They’re infected. It’s the cyst– the cyst that I’ve had on my balls since I was 13. That I thought was cancer because of the stupid junior high school health class pamphlet. Extend your scrotum after a hot shower and palpate each testicle, it tells you. A lump the size of a pea is cancer. It was the size of a cherry. I didn’t tell my mom for weeks. I thought I was going to die. Didn’t want to ruin our last days together. Continue reading

OKCupid 2017

15 Jan
Matthew McConaughey lovers changes

image stolen from starchanges.com

A reply that fast– I knew it’d be some hostile cunty thing. I looked anyway.

I hope this woman gets raped. Mutilated. I hope the cartel torture that Matthew McConaughey® describes in True Detective Season 1 episode 4– they tape you to a chair; they use a couple rolls a duct tape so ya cant move an inch. Cut all around your face. Grip into your scalp, peel your face off. Hold up a mirror so you can git a rillll guuuud look… I hope that happens to her. Continue reading

The Unicorn

8 Jan
unicorn-with-flowers

image stolen from the unicorn gallery at http://piecesofmyheart.org/

He lived alone. It had been years now. Women liked him once but these days he couldn’t get a Tinder match.

One night he went to smoke a cigarette in the park. There was rustling in the sumac bushes. Something screaming; he ran to see what it was. Three coyotes had something pinned. It looked like a white pony, or maybe a giant goat. Some slave animal for Mexican kids’ outdoor birthday parties. Whatever it was it was terrified. The coyotes had clocked him but they were intent enough that he could get close to the big one. Give it a hard boot in the ribs. It was something he’d always dreamed of. Just as he’d dreamed, he felt a rib crack and the thing squealed and ran. The other two, toadies that they were, did too. Continue reading