Archive | September, 2020

Sticky: Savage Spear of the Unicorn

14 Sep

Forgot to put up a sticky post for my new book Savage Spear of the Unicorn. You can buy it here.

If you email me a receipt I’ll send you a free bonus book.

It’s a collection. It has some new stories that aren’t online, which are some of the best stuff I’ve done. It also has stories like What’s Out There, Mark and Universal Basic Woman.

This Woman, Part 7

13 Sep

She texted back horseshit about wanting to see me after flaking five times. And I’d had this epiphany. I saw a baby on Twitter. The baby laughed seeing a waterfall for the first time. The next woman I date should be the mother of my children. Continue reading

This Woman, Part 6

6 Sep

Going to the Giant Forest. Maybe the Kern River. It’ll be nice just to drive. Sadie Wong’s not coming with me. It’s a fake name but I like the way it sounds. Sadie Wong doesn’t like me. Doesn’t want to spend time with me. She’s gay, or weird, she needs an abusive man. Or something. In any case I didn’t play it right. I didn’t play it at all. I simply “was myself.” And she doesn’t like me. What does that tell you. Continue reading

Women, Part 2

2 Sep

Girls are boring then surprised when you bore them. You have to be so exciting you can thwart their own boringness. Then when you’re used to playing up excitement you find yourself with a girl who seems to have spiritual grounding. Seems to want you to be decent. Nice. You let yourself show that part of you. You end up just being yourself. And she rejects you.

The Flake

1 Sep

old coke ad

I wrote this after reading a nasty passage in American Psycho. This is a FICTIONAL EXERCISE and is not about you. Continue reading