Oh Lord, oh Lord, why do you send me these calamities. The car died. I broke my hand. I rolled my ankle. Grasping objects and walking upright are out. The two things that define a human being. Might as well be an invertebrate. I work twelve hours a day and it’s an hour there hour back and I can’t even get home and have a god damn drink. Gotta go to an AA meeting. Or my sponsor will yell at me. Gotta have a long phone call with my sponsor, tell him yeah: look at all the AA shit I did. I went to this meeting, I read this chapter of Bill Motherfucking W, I took a commitment. It’s a good one at least. I hand out the chips at Cafe Tropical. Someone doesn’t drink for sixty days, I give them a keychain. People clap. The person says “Name, Alcoholic” and I hug them. Some day it will be a hot chick. I will feel big warm titties on my chest. The other commitments are shit like picking up trash. Oh Lord, thank you for that one. Continue reading
Archive | March, 2014
Just What the Fuck is Going On with You, Anyway
16 Mar- Comments 84 Comments
- Categories Winston Churchill's Dick
Best Of
- Product Review: Tenga® Easy Beat Egg™ Artificial Vagina, “Silky”
- Autopilot
- The Soap
- Lunch Break Diary: What’s on Your Mind
- Shit Jobs: McDonald’s
- Weekend Journal: Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can’t Live Without ‘Em
- Unemployment Diary: Want Ads
- The Wolf Witch
- Tomorrow is Another Day
- Postmortem
- First Date
- The Messiah
- Jack
- Toxic Masculinity
- Sugar Baby
- One Small Act of Kindness
- Bud
- What's Out There
- Finally, Some Good News
- Mark
Contact
Feed
Paypal
Bitcoin
1F9gJ6qUrkBzYP8NaZk8CqgqxUmTywdJCS
Archives
- February 2019
- January 2019
- December 2018
- November 2018
- October 2018
- September 2018
- August 2018
- July 2018
- June 2018
- May 2018
- April 2018
- March 2018
- February 2018
- January 2018
- December 2017
- November 2017
- October 2017
- September 2017
- August 2017
- July 2017
- June 2017
- May 2017
- April 2017
- March 2017
- February 2017
- January 2017
- December 2016
- November 2016
- October 2016
- September 2016
- August 2016
- July 2016
- June 2016
- May 2016
- April 2016
- March 2016
- February 2016
- January 2016
- December 2015
- November 2015
- October 2015
- September 2015
- August 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- April 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
Recently Popular Shit
Twitter Updates
- https://t.co/mF7QfemAbW 3 hours ago
- I was attacked in Chicago by a six foot copy of my book Finally, Some Good News It called me a “fag” and molested… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 5 hours ago
- @CattleRustlerTX XXXbox 5 hours ago
- @Lilcactus4 @ChicxulubCrater Don’t touch the little ones! Yours truly after a desert adventure https://t.co/YWxk0HFLUt 5 hours ago
- RT @flatlanderorg: That's how we get what we deserve. With apologies to @Delicious_Tacos, the author of Finally, Some Good News Get it he… 5 hours ago