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50 Ways to Get a Girlfriend

17 Nov

BOP

  1. Continue with Hinge
  2. Continue “shoring” on Seeking Arrangement. Pay girls to rub my back and fuck them when my muscles make them horny. One starts liking me. Continue reading

You Chose Each Other

9 Dec

okc starter screen

I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my new book Finally, Some Good News.

This story is from 2013, so has a man and woman meeting from OKCupid. 

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Plenty of Fish

28 Jun

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There’s no reason to spend a millisecond with another person who isn’t fucking me. And yet I do. I’ll see my parents. Then go to this stupid AA meeting. My father’s dead yet I still go to at least 50 parental birthday dinners a year. Because it’s Mother’s Day Father’s Day This Day That Day– some fucking wedding, Jesus Christ. There’s no Fuck Me Day, no Mexican Teen Pussy Day, Xbox Day. All chit chatting with old people until you look down and your own hands are old. Continue reading

Goodbye OKCupid

27 May

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They banned me from OKCupid. I’d say who knows why but you know it was some fat bluehair with a hard on for right wing future van murderers. Their appeal policy is: fuck off. So it’s gone.

I know, it’s no loss. It sucked already. Once they came out with hey look pictures it was doomed. But OKCupid was a market ineffeciency. Nice house in a nice neighborhood an ordinary family could afford. You could get women writing words. A niche. But tech gets better. Money gets involved. Every house on the block bought by GuangFei Light Industrial Technologies or Berkshire fuckin Hathaway. Family trust of New York Times newlyweds Matilda Wong-Rubinstein and Chet von Crackington III. You want a house, you better inherit money. You want ass, you better inherit face. Height frame don’t matter. I’m six one and ripped. Girls just see the met gala photo of Sarah Jessica Parker. Continue reading

Protected: No One Else Gets Laid Either

26 Jan

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Protected: OKCupid 2017

15 Jan

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Protected: You Should Message Me If Part 5

1 Dec

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