You Should Message Me If Part 5

1 Dec

I need the doorbell to ring. It’s you. Come in. Wordlessly bend over and I stick it in your crusty cunt and cum before I’m halfway in because you caught me before my post work jerk. Wordlessly leave. Nine months later send a picture holding a slimy red faced worm. A note that says I don’t want any money. Just wanted you to know.

Come over and power bottom me with an asshole you’ve meticulously purged with spring water. When I cum in 15 seconds your face turns into a screen playing Witcher 3. I need you to fuck me then spread your legs, open your pussy, give birth to another hotter girl who also fucks me while you clean the toilet.

Seriously though just make me not do 100% of the work 100% of the time. Be reasonably not ugly. I just need hot enough to get me hard and you’d be shocked what gets me hard. Hot enough to make me cum too fast but not so hot you can leave me too easy and move to Provence. Have your life paid for by a male model who sells extremely pure cocaine. This happened to my last ex. Something like it happened to every other ex too. Every woman I’ve had is a fool* but they can all pick up a rich six foot eight Frenchman with a cock like a stonehenge pillar. As soon as they get rid of me.

I want to impregnate a thirteen year old foster child. Keep her in a finished basement until she has the baby and I eat it. I want a girl like Nell kept chained up in a cabin until pubescence. Part her three cunt hairs, launch load after load into her dumb young womb. Try not to laugh at her inchoate moans. Her na na ta ta ra-ah fucking Lady Gaga lyrics. I want a robot who takes my cum then tickles my ass while her eyes play Preston Jacobs Youtube videos. Maybe you’re the next best thing.

I deserve a medal for not knocking up underage girls in the Philippines. I’m not evil so my genes will be extinguished. Didn’t since I thought I’d regret it but every day regret not doing it. Should have split open every junior high aged slave, dropped full loads in every IQ 76 hut dweller. But I did the right thing. I’m still miserable. Take human kindness and blow it out your ass. If I had an ounce of courage I’d be on that plane now. Back outside the Kenny Rogers Roasters in Manila. First biological female I find, take her raw for 500 pesos. When you cum in them they ask for your Facebook. To blackmail you for water buffalo vet bills. Well the exchange rate must be better now. Thanks, Trump.

* Except you

11 Responses to “You Should Message Me If Part 5”

  1. Anonymous December 1, 2016 at 11:04 pm #


    You are recapturing your old form.

  2. Isaac Simpson December 2, 2016 at 11:16 am #


  3. Anon December 3, 2016 at 12:58 am #

    I want to diddle a Filipina jailbait hnghnghhhnnnnggggg

  4. Sylvia December 3, 2016 at 1:09 am #

    I know three languages and I’m working on Latin. my oven is on preheat and it’s ready to do some baking.

    • Sylvia December 3, 2016 at 1:11 am #

      Also this post is boring as fuck with no new material. When those idiots talk about your old form they’re really saying they love that you are a one trick pony. You aren’t, though.

    • K-hole December 3, 2016 at 3:03 pm #

      Ubi est bubula

  5. hey sylvia, December 3, 2016 at 4:18 pm #

    eepkay emday eefbay urtainscay losedcay nicay atcay itchenkay.
    nday eepkay atday oufmay losedcay nocay erehay.

    N’won cares, fatstuff. OK?

    • Anonymous December 4, 2016 at 3:44 am #

      “Nicay” cat kitchen? “Nocay”?

  6. Chicken4Dayz December 5, 2016 at 1:44 pm #

    Here’s a poem to honor the void you often fill in my life;

    It’s a blog by DT
    Better than baked Ziti

    He needs a wife
    But pussy rules his life

    He’s a Tinder/OkCupid procurer
    But, His followers go ‘Heil, Mein Fuhrer!’

    I didn’t say it’d be good.

    • delicioustacos December 6, 2016 at 7:36 am #

      Thank you for this.

      • Chicken4Dayz December 7, 2016 at 5:12 am #

        Anytime mein Fuhrer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: