The Girls Cried When They Got Dillinger

12 Feb

dorner hope

Monica Quan was a human being who didn’t deserve to die.  Keith Lawrence was a human being who didn’t deserve to die.  Michael Crain  was a human being who didn’t deserve to die.  The San Bernardino deputy who died today didn’t deserve to die, although at least he saw it coming.  In any case, these people were murdered in cold blood.  Their mothers and fathers, their kids, their friends, are mourning.

Still, when I heard they got Dorner, I thought: fuck.

His fucking axle broke.  Ain’t it always some shit like that.  You have a perfect plan, and some random bullshit comes out of nowhere.  It was like he slipped on a banana peel.  They had Feds in Las Vegas, cops in Tijuana raiding hotels for him; they said he stole a boat, that he was stocking up on SCUBA gear.  He may have accomplices and caches of food and weapons; he’s using burner cell phones; he could have a whole network across the country and they may never catch him.  He could come out of nowhere at any time and kill any cop to get vengeance for everyone the cops ever fucked. And the cops became chickens without heads, falling over themselves to shoot up any pickup truck within 500 miles.  We saw what really moved them.  You call the cops and nothing happens.   When they were afraid for themselves, that’s when they kicked into high gear.

He had stockpiles of high tech weapons and the best military training in history and he could materialize out of the night to mete out justice anywhere. We wanted him to be fucking Batman.  In the end he was stuck up in the sticks in the cold and when they pinned him down they just told the media helicopters to fly away “for safety” and torched the place.  News coverage could have compromised the effectiveness of the operation.  No shit– the operation is to make sure the LAPD comes out looking good after shooting innocents in the back.  And then failing to capture a nut who got fucked by such a banal car problem that he could have stayed at large for years if only he could call triple A.  The TV crews backed right off.  They need to keep their sources; they need to keep their law and order reputation intact.  I don’t blame them, I wouldn’t want the LAPD after me either. We wanted him to be Batman and he was just a sad lonely fuck who wanted to talk to Charlie Sheen.

Cops: learn this lesson.  The way you felt about Chris Dorner is the way we feel about you.  A heavily armed human nightmare who could pop out of nowhere at any time with a gun in your face and fuck you on some technicality. Sure, Teresa Evans kicked some crazy guy in the head while he was cuffed.  So fucking what. It’s against the Code of Conduct, but everything you do every day is technically against the Code of Conduct. Yeah, my brake light is out.  So it’s against the law, what isn’t.  Yeah, I have a gram of coke on me, so fucking what.  It makes me feel happy for once. But suddenly someone can come grab you by the scruff of the neck over some shit we all do and stomp your face into the sidewalk and take away your money and your dreams and your freedom and maybe your life.  Quis custodiet ipses custodies.

Personally, I have no right to complain about the cops.  I’ve never had a bad experience, except the airspace outside my apartment sounding like god damn Apocalypse Now every fucking night when the chopper pilots decide to show the Mexicans who’s boss.   Still, I’m scared of the cops.  Cops got fucked harder by the Youtube era than anyone, because cops on TV used to be heroes.  Just out of  narrative convenience; it’s one of those jobs where you can solve a case every week.  You can run shows out of order in syndication without confusing old people.  But in the digital age, every fucking day we see cops tazing old ladies, cops kicking the shit out of retarded people, cops beating a mentally ill hobo to death while he screams for his dad.  Nowadays we see this shit and we are no longer surprised.

I have no idea what percentage of cops does shit like this.  I want to believe it’s a tiny minority.  That the vast bulk of them are honorable guardians protecting pussies like me from the bloodthirsty hordes of scum out there.  But you see enough of cops kicking the shit out of people, you see enough of them unloading into the back of innocent people’s cars  in a panic to save their own ass, you start to think: maybe that’s bullshit.  Maybe I want to believe that the way I want to believe in Batman.

20 Responses to “The Girls Cried When They Got Dillinger”

  1. Anonymous February 12, 2013 at 11:09 pm #

    First of all her name isn’t Tracey, it’s Monica! Great story -_-

  2. Alf LaMont February 12, 2013 at 11:31 pm #

    So good.

  3. Little Miss S February 13, 2013 at 2:02 am #

    “they just told the media helicopters to fly away “for safety” and torched the place”

    Yup…a friend of mine was listening to a scanner and heard them say “send in the burners” umm ok!

    Great post!!

  4. Another Mary February 13, 2013 at 5:53 am #

    Right on.

  5. Chalmander February 13, 2013 at 8:01 am #

    Lurker, first time commenter.

    Apparently Dorner is dead.

    There are a lot of things very disturbing about this story. Dorner definitely did do some awful things, but what he has to say about the structure of power in the LAPD and the fact he was willing to go to such great lengths to fight it is even more disturbing to me.

    The LAPD needed Dorner dead, not only because he was a huge threat to them from a violence standpoint (his aim was to kill policemen and their families, not normal civilians), but that he was also going to expose their secrets and corruption.

    When was the last time that you heard the police burn down a building to kill one person?

    • Aydin June 4, 2014 at 7:38 am #

      I have read the manifesto and I do not coidsner him a nut job. I can see where he would hold his dept. and fellow officers to a higher standard and when they act criminally and he does what he feels is right and he ends up villified for it and has his reputation and job taken he has a right to be angry. LAPD has been a cesspool for years it is well documented their lack of regard for civil and human rights yet we rarely see them held accountable for their actions.Here is someone willing to stand up and say no this is wrong and the system kicks him in the teeth. I do not agree with the killing of innocents but those who commited these acts or are complicit with covering them up are not innocent and deserve no sympathy for what happens to them. I do not agree that just because you have a badge that you are above reproach. Wait and see if any of the officers who shot those women delivering papers will face dismisal or criminal charges. It would be nice to see the system work fairly and equally but that is not reality. Reality is there is a well trained, welll armed, motivated individual who is unlikely to stop until he is dead. I would hope we would have at least one credible news outlet look into his claims and see if he spoke the truth or if he was delusional.

  6. lordsofdabtown February 13, 2013 at 3:35 pm #

    He’s still alive. charmed remains were indeed of a female..

    • Nikol February 13, 2013 at 6:00 pm #

      Got a link to that bullshit bit of sensationalism?

      • Little Miss S February 14, 2013 at 12:06 am #

        It was a stupid Twitter hoax that spread like wildfire…I mean spread like copfire.

      • sylviasarah February 14, 2013 at 10:13 am #


  7. Anonymous February 13, 2013 at 6:18 pm #

    good article, made me think differently of it, and enjoyed the batman part.. thanks for this article!

  8. G February 13, 2013 at 8:05 pm #

    The most I can hope for is that it still serves as the wake-up call he intended. He was ready to die, and sure, it doesn’t look like he met his stated objectives, but fuck, the way this all went down should be damning for those assholes.

    I’m not great at optimism, though.

    Perfect post.

  9. nikolhasler February 13, 2013 at 9:15 pm #

    The LAPD is saying that they didn’t mean to burn down the cabin. This doesn’t make me feel any better about the competency of our police force. But, I guess they’d rather look like the Three Stooges than a bunch of wicked, twisted liars.

    • sylviasarah February 13, 2013 at 10:50 pm #

      Well, they just end up looking like stupid liars once you listen to the recordings.

    • Little Miss S February 14, 2013 at 12:05 am #

      LOL, I can’t believe they’re still denying it when they’re saying shit like “we’re going to go ahead with the plan, the one we talked about, with the burners” “burners deployed, there is a fire.” Just fricking admit it…

      • bob February 14, 2013 at 6:49 pm #

        burners are tear gas canisters

      • Little Miss S February 14, 2013 at 10:52 pm #

        I know they are, my ex is a cop turned detective. So I also know that when they report immediate confirmation of a fire and use the language they used, that was what they meant to do. It’s sad all around!

  10. Anonymous April 11, 2013 at 7:52 am #

    #spielbergsnuts #delicious #pork


  1. The Search for Chris Dorner is REALLY Over « Jimmy Bramlett - February 13, 2013

    […] Mr. Delicious Tacos put it best in his post "The Girls Cried When They Shot Dillinger", […]

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