Archive | July, 2019

Yoga Pants Cashier

21 Jul

Would you like a receipt, said Stephanie, the southeast Asian cashier with purple hair and a surprisingly robust ass for her ethnicity. Or would you prefer to prematurely pump approximately a 55-gallon drum of your seed into my hot tight little pussy todaysir.

The choice was clear. He’d read that receipt paper contained BPAs.

What You’re Up Against, Part 2

14 Jul

(Previously)

She had a Tumblr. A tech guy offered her $500 if she’d shit in a mason jar for a week, pour Jack Daniels in it, and mail it to him.

She didn’t know what to say. Asked a friend. The friend said make it $1,000. Charge him for the jar too.

To her credit, she didn’t do it.

But the next girl did.

The Sugar Daddy before Me

12 Jul

was always rich. Always married. Always kids. The wife successful too. Something cool. TV writer, Netflix, HBO. Loved his kids, showed pictures. They’re doing well in school. They’ll go to good colleges. He takes them diving. Trips at ten to places I still haven’t seen. He has what I pray for. The wife was beautiful but the girl’s 22 and she always, always broke it off because he said I’ll leave her please please move in with me.