What You’re Up Against

25 Feb

I’m sorry but I have to leave early, she tells me. Client in Ventura.

The old man sends a car. When she gets there he prepares a bath with candles. She bathes alone. He busies himself. Sneaks peeks but mostly leaves her be. When she gets out he’ll massage her for a long time. Fleetwood Mac on his fancy stereo. Take her to dinner. Nicest place in town. A glass of wine at home and the car takes her back to L.A. Thousand dollars in her account.

They don’t fuck. Don’t even kiss. He’s just lonely.

She met him on OKCupid, too.

22 Responses to “What You’re Up Against”

  1. Soinclined February 25, 2015 at 6:40 pm #

    I just roll with it. They’ve got one thing left to sell that’s worth anything to anybody. Who am I to get in the way when they say “gotta go, call you later”?

    OKC, POF, Tinder, et. al., did one very basic thing: They commoditized pussy. Once it was a commodity that could be bought, sold, day traded, people did what they do with commodities.

    Dudes wonder why they can’t meet the love of their lives on dating apps, it’s because almost all the girls are professionals. Yes, including some of the fat ones.

    I’m hearing what you’re describing more and more, though, rich old guys will call the girls over and just have them sit there like props sometimes. It’s another form of conspicuous consumption: He’s saying I’m so rich, I can afford to *waste* perfectly good pussy.

    • Amy February 25, 2015 at 8:02 pm #

      Oh man, “waste good pussy”. On point.

      Shit, but, seriously? Where do I sign up?

      • Soinclined February 25, 2015 at 8:18 pm #

        It’s like any other commodity or high end merchandise, really. Think about purchasing airfare, for example, there are parallels. You want to fly on Tuesdays-Thursday for the best deal. Neither airlines nor working girls have as much demand. Check the usual websites for specials.

        Another favorite angle of mine is to play in the Third World, but that’s not for the casual purchaser.

    • KING OF FAGS March 2, 2015 at 6:14 am #

      How does one day-trade pussy, O wise one?

      • Soinclined March 2, 2015 at 8:23 am #

        Let’s be clear that I haven’t done this myself, I consume what I purchase. However, if you want to make a little money day-trading, I envision that you’d have an acquaintance who was too big a coward to arrange things for himself but would like the experience.

        You, being connected, would make the purchase, tell the girl about your near-virgin friend you’d like for her to straighten out, arrange everything, and charge your friend twice what the girl and the room cost you. He pays you up front before you do anything, so you’re literally in and out of your position in one trading day. If he chickens out, you still have his money. If anything is wrong at all, you still have your profit.

        Thus, you have day-traded pussy. You’re a Keyboard Pimp.

        If a thing can be settled in cash, it can be day-traded, or so I believe.

  2. Gmail February 25, 2015 at 6:50 pm #

    You have to embody them all.


  3. Zelcorpion February 25, 2015 at 7:05 pm #

    How do you know there was no fucking? She told you? I would not be so sure. Even if there was a BJ, she would not tell you, wouldn’t she?

    • holisticgame February 25, 2015 at 7:30 pm #

      No, she’d tell him. My girls tell me.

      • Soinclined February 25, 2015 at 8:09 pm #

        I have no doubt she’d tell him, especially if he asked. I sometimes forget LA isn’t the rest of the world.

        In LA, no mature person thinks about judging another person in the way they would in the Bible Belt. No judgment means if you ask, she’ll tell you, and if you flip out from being told the truth, you’re the one with the problem.

      • Anony-fucking-mous February 25, 2015 at 11:15 pm #

        Even here in the land of more churches per capita than anything else except liquor stores and gun stores the girls will still talk openly about the other guys they’re having sex with. You either accept it or they cut you off. The speed of which they cut you off is inversely proportional to how much money you have.

        I think it’s just a modern thing these days. If she doesn’t see you as boyfriend material, the amount of cares she has towards the things she talks about decrease. She’ll be more open and vulnerable because she’s not looking for anything from you, and thus has nothing to really ruin. Somehow equality has gotten us to the point where women having non-committal sex somehow have the emotional upperhand. You simply just cannot care, all bets are off.

        Of course if you legitimately don’t give a shit then it’s a pussy buffet without a sneeze guard.

      • Zelcorpion February 26, 2015 at 3:42 am #

        I guess with enough experience you can probably tell – also being her pure “cool” Alpha lover helps too.

      • Soinclined February 26, 2015 at 5:43 am #

        “Of course if you legitimately don’t give a shit then it’s a pussy buffet without a sneeze guard.”

        Heh. Now, yeah, pretty much. If someone’s telling me they’re not getting laid, what I hear is that they don’t have a dime to their name *and* are actively repulsive. John Fucking Merrick could get his dick sucked in LA if he had a few quid on him. If he had the right attitude, I know chicks who would do it for free just because it was fucked up to try and find and manipulate his raggedy elephant dick.

        I’m a couple years older than DT and a transplant into LA from Jesusland. I was around for the Buffet Transition, and it was a little jarring. DT wrote about it before, but as an older teen in the 80’s they terrorized us with AIDS to the point almost nobody fucked. If you were hetero, that is. Access to sex was controlled like Schedule II narcotics and women enforced it upon themselves and each other, any woman who broke the Thin Pink Line was ostracized forever.

        Almost overnight, boom, Buffet Time. It was like Christmas finally came for Charlie Bucket. I’m not ashamed to admit I cried a single, manly tear. It was all the moisture I had left in my body, you understand. I was afraid things would change back and I literally fucked the skin off my dick in a couple of places while the getting was good.

        Condoms? Bwah ha ha! Your biological imperative is to shoot a load as far down in this bitch as you can reach…even if it kills you, and in the moment you absolutely do not care. Go ahead and tell me I’m the only one.

  4. Bango Tango February 26, 2015 at 6:50 am #

    Pathetic blue pill old man. I would have respect for you if it was just about fucking. But taking a whore out to a nice restaurant? Treating her like a queen? We will all be better off when the pathetic baby boomer generation is gone.

    • C February 26, 2015 at 11:29 pm #


  5. I Am Cornholio February 27, 2015 at 6:53 pm #

    Sometimes the comments thread here depresses me more than the stories. Then I tell myself this is all just performance art, that people aren’t the lonely, insecure, sad sacks they come off as. It works long enough for me to grab a beer and move on.

    • Guest February 28, 2015 at 6:18 am #

      Yeah all the insecure young guys here depress me too. It would probably be for the best if comments were disabled.

      • blah March 1, 2015 at 4:51 pm #

        Don’t be sad. There are plenty of rich old dumbasses from Ventura in the sea.

  6. Just Saying March 12, 2015 at 8:57 pm #

    They don’t fuck. Don’t even kiss. He’s just lonely.

    Dang – no wonder so many young women just want a good hard f**king – no talk or any of that sh*t – take them back to the room throw them on the bed, f**k like banshees. I do my best, but I’m not 20 anymore.

    Since I started a band, half of the women I bed I don’t even ask their names – don’t care, I see what I want and get it. So if guys want to play eunuch – that’s fine by me. More for me to enjoy…

  7. kidstrangelove April 11, 2015 at 3:07 pm #

    That’s a damn shame.

  8. Jake August 20, 2019 at 2:03 pm #

    My ex jerked a dude for $700


  1. What You’re Up Against | Manosphere.com - February 25, 2015

    […] What You’re Up Against […]

  2. What You’re Up Against, Part 2 | delicioustacos - July 14, 2019

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