Archive | Winston Churchill’s Dick RSS feed for this section

Not Long Now

31 Jul

California ground squirrel - Wikipedia

The blog will suck for a long time. Many things happening. Nothing I can talk about. Some go in the book. The book won’t be out for years. Maybe 2025. I’ll be pushing 50. One hopes I’ll have lost my testosterone and can just Netflix and die, feed the cat. Continue reading


4 Jul


They canceled summer. No beach no fireworks. They’ll stop corona deaths until the same number happen later. There will be no vaccine, treatment or cure. People are mad and they’ll get madder until they have riots that spread corona. Spike, lockdown, people get mad and they cancel fall. I support Black Lives Matter. And George Floyd led an admirable lifestyle. But no matter what, if you get in a time machine and come out in 50 years they’ll still be pissed off. On the other hand, there will still be corona. So let them march. But let me look at pelicans too. Puffy cunt cracks. Continue reading

The Mud Dauber

29 May


I saw a big long hornet flying around the electrical conduit for the floodlights. Big as a murder hornet. Saw that it had built a mud nest where the conduit runs into the wall. So I took a broomstick and knocked half the nest off. I wrote about it on Twitter. Someone told me it was a mud dauber. Continue reading

This Is Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend

4 Mar


Don’t read this. Continue reading

Interview with the Pussy Vampire

24 May

cruise oprah

Here’s an interview I did with Chip Smith from Nine Banded Books. This will also be on Autistic Mercury. Possibly in print somewhere.

I wrote this before Roosh converted to Christianity and banned all mention of sex from his forum.

Like everything recently, it exists to plug my new book: Continue reading

Cuckolded by a Savage Armenian

10 Mar

image: Wizards of the Coast

I have a new post at Autistic Mercury reviewing the “Cat Person” short story collection.

Also: Continue reading


3 Feb


I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my new novel Finally, Some Good News.

My mom got into genealogy. So did your mom. Older women love genealogy the way actresses love astrology. Whereas men know your great grandmother took a hot load from the blacksmith. Continue reading

Reader Mailbag: How Do I Get People to Read My Writing

12 Jan

streisand awards

David writes:

…how do you get people to come to your website when they don’t even know your name?

Continue reading

Reader Mailbag: What Do You Think about Donald Trump

13 Dec

trump detail

I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my new book Finally, Some Good News.

This was written when Stan Lee was still alive, whenever he got accused of beating off on his maid’s face.
Continue reading

Fuck Cunt Pussy

3 Dec

finally screen cap

My new book is out. Need to write a blog post but I blew my kundalini beating off to teen underwear ads. Plus life is pretty good. I could get fired and still have money. Today I went to Target. Bought a welcome mat with a cheerful bird on it. Brushed steel trash can. Nickelplated curtain rods. My new home shaping up. Soon I can play Red Dead Redemption 2 without sun glare making the screen inscrutable. I found a fast horse. She had kicked an NPC to death as he tried to shoe her in a field. Killed the legendary white buffalo and had its skin turned into an outfit I find pleasing. Continue reading