Reader Mailbag: What Do You Think about Donald Trump

13 Dec

trump detail

I’m posting old unpublished material to draw page views for my new book Finally, Some Good News.

This was written when Stan Lee was still alive, whenever he got accused of beating off on his maid’s face.

What do you think about Donald Trump. He’s retarded. What about The Women’s March. Retarded. The #MeToo movement. Retarded. SJW’s, retarded. White nationalists, retarded. And fat.

Politics don’t matter. Movements don’t matter. Except now–  I don’t know. Every girl on Tinder is Trump this Trump that. Three pics with the fucking knit hat from the Women’s March, which tells you they haven’t logged on since they found out it’s racist for looking like a white cunt. What can you say. Culture came to the place we fought for. We just about have Roosh Jello wrestling Randi Harper live on CNN and it’s boring. It prevents me from getting laid. Dear Lord, I prayed, if it please Thee put the torch to America. As with all prayers, a finger curled on a monkey’s paw. As you wish, spake the Lord, but every girl will talk like a Twitter argument.

We got what we wanted. Five years ago you’d have nutted in your pants for two minutes on the news about the 4chan/ Tumblr war. Now it has three full time networks. Everything is Jenkem. Fucking comic book movies talked about in terms of intersectionality and representation. They pulled Ta Nehisi Coates, our uh, pre-eminent intellectual, off the guilt beat to write about the Nation of Wakanda. The editor of the New Republic just posts constantly about how great Jack Kirby is. I had to go through Jack Kirby’s whole canon when I worked in Hollywood. It’s retarded. Steroidal half man half jaguars running around screaming ooga booga. Black Panther is retarded– or maybe it isn’t. I haven’t read it. Maybe it’s about Eldridge Cleaver’s rapes in which case I gotta pick it up.

Comic books are gonna make us all enlightened and then two seconds later Stan Lee’s liver spot turkey tendon hand chokes out three niggardly fish smelling drops of 100-year old jism in the mouths of enslaved Salvadoran teens and he’s cackling and grinning and it’s boring. We already knew men were like this. Nobody can talk about anything else. Everything so retarded it just cycles instantly from angry to funny to sad to who fucking gives a shit. I can’t relate to anybody because nobody talks about anything except this bullshit, when they should be discussing hummingbird migrations. Then fucking me.

2 Responses to “Reader Mailbag: What Do You Think about Donald Trump”

  1. harrythehipster December 13, 2018 at 11:38 am #

    Ok, ok, some feedback. Idk dude, I read what I think were the excerpts from your novel which you peppered into some of your previous posts. I find the subject matter of your fiction far less interesting and the staccato style ill suited to fiction. As I think you’ve always known, the most interesting subject in the room is–you and your desperate worldview combined with a razor-sharp wit. Put the abstraction of fiction between you and your subject matter and…you’re losing me. That said, I might still buy it to try and prove myself wrong. Anyway, good luck. But above is the gold I will always come here for.

    • Voltaicc December 13, 2018 at 3:09 pm #

      Disagree. There’s a reason his Best Of sidebar includes a lot of his fiction, like they’re a culmination of months of hashing out the (at least pseudo-)nonfic that’s his bread and butter.

      I’ll risk the obvious Bukowski comparison: “Six Inches” (which reads like science fic), “Stop Staring At My Tits, Mister”, “The Copulating Mermaid…” were better standalone tales than his going-to-the-races-shitfaced stories. But imagine if we didn’t have the more candid autobiographical stuff, then I suspect he’d be reduced to a mere “humorist” and not really appreciated like he is.

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