The Women’s March

4 Feb

photo-210

The Women’s March worked. Trump was deposed. A pink pussy hat now president. Horny killers from Damascus welcomed at LAX by your girlfriend. Schools teach in Mexican. New Chief Usury Officer of Goldman Sachs is trans. Brianna Wu on the $100. Eye in the pyramid now Lena Dunham’s asshole. All pregnancies terminated; late term abortions turn babies into pugs. Ploughshares beat into social media brand management. All workers sponsored content ambassadors for Huffington Post. Doritos knows Black Lives Matter. New twins in Beyonce’s cunt brought to you by Audi. Lyft pledges allegiance to Sharia. Hadiths mandate polyandrous slavery to blue haired genders that OKCupid knows no word for. Something to do with My Little Pony. All porn now clips of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Sheryl Sandberg merges with flesh NSA servers like an anglerfish, stares back at you from the place you dare not look. Honey Boo Boo’s Mom Lost 200 Pounds You Won’t Believe How Gorgeous She Is, she says in your inner voice. Like This. Justin Trudeau’s hot soft hand on your back like your gym teacher who drank before noon; his robust yoga pants package crawling and awake. Angela Merkel’s spindly tendons twitch as she palpates your Soylent incubation sac. We won, you guys. Pepsi stands against racism.

16 Responses to “The Women’s March”

  1. Anonymous February 4, 2017 at 1:44 pm #

    I’m basically going to use each sentence as my status on WhatsApp for a week because I like obscure statuses that validate my need for attention and also, ability to come off like somebody really cool.

    Also, it’s great to see you posting so often man, and I thought Christmas had come to an end.

  2. Lurkin' Luke February 4, 2017 at 4:54 pm #

    That’s an awesome, creative use of these rich sentences. Makes me wish I were on social media so I could exploit the same.

    DT: awesome work. Glad your newfound riches haven’t satisfied you too much. You may currently work for the man, but truly you are the man.

    • Anonymous February 5, 2017 at 1:22 pm #

      It ain’t too late. I done heard them tweeter accounts be freer than a drafty pair of boxers.

  3. Anonymous February 4, 2017 at 8:34 pm #

    Funniest shit you’ve put out for awhile

  4. Anonymous February 4, 2017 at 8:53 pm #

    pottery

    • Billy Chambers February 9, 2017 at 4:24 pm #

      I have read every one of your posts DT and just want to say your writing is great and keeps getting better. You have a unique mind and writing style and it’s a crying shame you are not rich off of your writing.

  5. arthpeeters February 5, 2017 at 2:02 pm #

    This post could not be improved in any way. It’s perfect.

  6. old fan February 5, 2017 at 3:42 pm #

    One of your best poasts in a long time. Sounds like your old writing.

    • Anonymous February 16, 2017 at 1:17 pm #

      Learn how to fucking spell the word, “post.”

  7. Lamb pattern neon octahedron February 5, 2017 at 10:13 pm #

    Good. Glad to see you’re off your recent cuck binge. Maybe quit hardcore porn and felt strangely healthy this week?

    • charles darwin February 6, 2017 at 7:53 pm #

      ah, the wonders of not stroking one’s own dicc to the digital-visual of another man (or men) pounding pussy that you desire.

      listen to Lamb he is the voice of reason, the boy next door.

  8. Bonnes Tacos February 7, 2017 at 2:10 pm #

    Wake up William Burroughs.

  9. Anonymous February 9, 2017 at 1:39 am #

    Houellebecq much?

    • Hu-whut? February 9, 2017 at 5:39 am #

      Ain’t no Houellebecq, girl.

  10. Judge February 20, 2017 at 8:29 am #

    God’s work

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