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My new book is out. Need to write a blog post but I blew my kundalini beating off to teen underwear ads. Plus life is pretty good. I could get fired and still have money. Today I went to Target. Bought a welcome mat with a cheerful bird on it. Brushed steel trash can. Nickelplated curtain rods. My new home shaping up. Soon I can play Red Dead Redemption 2 without sun glare making the screen inscrutable. I found a fast horse. She had kicked an NPC to death as he tried to shoe her in a field. Killed the legendary white buffalo and had its skin turned into an outfit I find pleasing.

I wrote the fucking novel. It’s done. Spent the parts of the morning not spent having diarrhea from homemade smoked habanero salsa correcting every individual hyphen in it. It turns out I used single dashes, double dashes and eight fucking foot long looking elongated em-dashes created by Microsoft Word when you press return– I had mixed these willy-nilly throughout the text. The inconsistent dashes draw the eye in the physical proof. You cannot simply Find and Replace All with the correct- sized 1.5-length dash. Hyphenated words such as “in-house” would then have a too-long dash within them. It would draw the eye. You must individually correct 216 dashes.

Is the book good? I don’t know. I looked at it too much. I’d rather walk back to the toilet and wolf down this morning’s sixteen pounds of diarrhea, slurping gob an inch over the water like a Japanese commuter scarfing down a steamy ramen bowl– I’d rather do this than correct one more word or punctuation mark in Finally, Some Good News: a Novel by Delicious Tacos. But for the purpose of this post I’m writing to sell it: it’s great.

If you buy the paperback you get the Kindle version free. If you buy either version this month and send a screen cap of the receipt to delicioustacosdotcom@gmail.com I’ll email you back a free additional PDF book of password protected posts. At the back is the password for the site. You can use it to access the 200-something posts I had to hide when someone snitched on me to my work.

You know what: it is good. Finally, Some Good News is the best thing I’ve ever done. I did not mail it in. I worked and worked and failed and failed to make this. It was extremely hard. I did it because most of the books you pick up suck. People deserve to read good books.

What’s it about. Two birdwatchers survive a nuclear holocaust. The ultimate school shooting. Stephen Paddock’s motive. What it would take to have a girlfriend and free time in 2018. Weaponized despair. How our civilization must be annihilated, and at least 6.5 billion people need to die. “Woke capital”. Various birds. It came from a feeling I had in the middle of work, wishing an atomic bomb would go off. I had that feeling every day. Kept feeling it and feeling it until I wrote this book, and it was gone.

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