The Lost Child

31 Aug

From True Love

I had a dream sleeping next to my date. I dreamed I had a little girl. She had blonde hair blue eyes and she reached out to me, little hands. And I picked her up and walked her through a meadow. Told her the names of the animals. That’s a squirrel, that’s a bird. White birch trees in winter. She looked like her mother, who I never saw again.

Birds in My Area

28 Jul

Just about every day I go to the park and watch acorn woodpeckers. There are four types of woodpecker in the area. The Northern flicker, acorn woodpecker, the hairy woodpecker, and the Nuttall’s. This winter there was a Nuttall’s in the neighbor’s walnut tree. Continue reading

Dream Number 6

23 Jul

I had a dream. I was holding my baby son. On a train to take him back to his mother. Shared custody. The mother was maybe 28. A white woman, beautiful. We weren’t together,. I was handing him over. Telling her something. Giving her instructions about to do this, that. How to take care of him. And it occurred to me she knew what she was doing. It would be fine. She was his mother. Continue reading

Something Good

16 Jul

I went out and looked at the squash and I could hear the bees. I thought it was a swarm somewhere. Moving hives. But the squash has so many flowers there are a hundred bees. Humming and pollinating in the big deep orange blossoms. The flowers are male or female. The male ones had buds for a long time, but just opened. At the end of the cycle. New little squashes now are born yellow and die. Leaves going yellow. The plants are dying. I give them more fertilizer. But they feel gassed out. Like they’ve used their time on Earth. Continue reading

One Paragraph of OC

26 Jun

All you gotta do today is make one paragraph of OC. Continue reading


22 May

I didn’t need this life lesson. That I’m old and I’m gonna die. And before that the best part of me will get clipped off. Joy wit creativity and energy will leave me. I knew already. I knew since I was born. The reminder was not needed. I don’t want wisdom. I want to remain an idiot. Always thinking better days are around the corner. I’ll get well soon. My ship’s about to come in. Xochitl breaking up with her boyfriend means she’ll date me. I can bulk up my arms again. Stocks will go back up, et cetera. It’s not over.

I want to be an idiot. Tired of God teaching me. I want to be tempted by carnal pleasures. A hairsbreadth away from bailing on my job to get teenage Austronesian monkey pussy, eat coconuts and disappear.

The Phone

17 Apr

Taking the phone back was like taking a dog back to the shelter. The iPhone13 Pro. 512GB, in Sierra Blue. 120 hertz ProMotion display. Stainless steel side trim. The blue was so tasteful. It was the Antarctic Blue Clark W. Griswold wanted on his Super Sports Wagon. I had money and decided to get the best one they made. The battery didn’t dip no matter what you did. You can leave it playing Preston Jacobs videos all night. The animations imperceptibly smooth. Curved polished steel bright and warm. Continue reading

Bloop Bloop Bloop

31 Mar

If you end up like me it’s not so bad. But I failed. I tried hard to meet and marry a woman for 30 years. I couldn’t do it. I can’t like them and have them like me at the same time, without it blowing up. Continue reading

Anita Lopez

19 Mar

I want to fuck Anita Lopez, unprotected. I want to ejaculate in her when she’s ovulating in four days. Make her pregnant with quintuplets. She sells weed for a living. She’s 35, she’s getting a job at titty bar to put something on her taxes. I want her gravid with my champions. I want to suck her toes and lick the soles of her feet like a cow. I want to blast 3 days of no jerking off ropes in her instantly. Go off like a land mine when my helmet gets within four feet of her folds. Her unwashed heat wave crotch. I want to jerk my hips into her in a lizard brain reflex like a hanged man’s dance and pump the last few precious drops deep, deep so not one sperm cell drips free. Rear naked choke her and have her push up her ass in that angle that shortens the pussy pipe. Where you can feel the tip batter cervix. Blast and blast till my ribs collapse and my eyes pop out and my brain can’t make consonants. I want to impregnate Anita Lopez. Continue reading


6 Mar

On his birthday she’d caught Sammy masturbating into a pair of her panties. She was supposed to get him dressed and take him to their parents’ house for the party. She got him in a collared shirt and his best pants and packed up the candles in the shape of 2-0. Went to blow dry her hair and when she came out he was in his chair hunched over his crotch and it looked like he was shaking. I thought he was having a seizure, she said. I was so scared– Continue reading