
I didn’t need this life lesson. That I’m old and I’m gonna die. And before that the best part of me will get clipped off. Joy wit creativity and energy will leave me. I knew already. I knew since I was born. The reminder was not needed. I don’t want wisdom. I want to remain an idiot. Always thinking better days are around the corner. I’ll get well soon. My ship’s about to come in. Xochitl breaking up with her boyfriend means she’ll date me. I can bulk up my arms again. Stocks will go back up, et cetera. It’s not over.
I want to be an idiot. Tired of God teaching me. I want to be tempted by carnal pleasures. A hairsbreadth away from bailing on my job to get teenage Austronesian monkey pussy, eat coconuts and disappear.