Woodbury

3 Jan

This guy kept me alive. I’m gonna keep him alive. A lonely, lonely year but I’d go out and my savage bear size feral cat Woodrow came and sat with me. He lives in the yard. It took me a year to touch him. A year of leaving out food. Water. Crouching down saying hey man I’m not gonna hurt you. Don’t be scared. Continue reading

The Ending

30 Dec

This year was like a movie where the first two acts were good and the ending sucked. You gotta write the ending first.

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Seeking Arrangement

13 Dec

She got scammed by a white guy named Ray who drove a 2005 Toyota Camry. They met in his car. He said he’d give her a check for tuition but needed her routing number. $1800 and she sent him $800 back in Green Dot money cards. For supplies for his business. She had to close her bank account. Her cunt juice stuck my boxers to my balls. Whatever covenant there was between men and women is gone. This is the warlord period.

Prayer Number 7

6 Dec

I got a rub ‘n’ tug. When I came the woman said “ahh, too long alone.” 
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The Red-Whiskered Bulbul

1 Dec

  

From Savage Spear of the Unicorn

I went to pray this morning, looking out the front window. In the front yard the grass has gone to seed. A little wren came. And then finches with red faces, I don’t know what they are. Landing on the foxtail grass making it sway under their little weight. Throwing their heads back to swallow the seeds. They inspect the weeping ficus I have outside in a pot. Investigate the undersides of the leaves. Maybe looking for aphids. A female hummingbird, a rufous or Allen’s hummingbird, perching on the ficus branch, fluffing her neck, stretching out her long exotic tongue. You can hear the mourning doves out back. The mockingbirds. Ravens with their tock-tock sound like that hollow ribbed wooden thing you rubbed with a stick in music class in third grade. Not so bad. Power lines come down from my house, down the hill to the street, and the other day the rare red-whiskered bulbul landed there and looked at me. He was with his four children. I was afraid he’d die alone. But he caught a break.

Prayer Number 6

18 Nov

Yoshiyuki Iwase

I pray for my enemy to have a hot Asian wife with a tight, tasty pussy. No weird nipples. Perfectly proportioned nipples like Lilly had, not wormy ones. Not big personal pan pizza size areolas. Relatively small short nipples but not freakish small to where your mouth could find no purchase. Sensitive and she cums easily. Doesn’t mind when you cum too soon.

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Prayer Number 5

24 Oct

God I want money without work. Is that so wrong. Pussy without being good looking. Without being around other people. I want a child. But I don’t want it to shit, blow snot, et cetera. A wife who changes shape. Disappears when it’s time to play Xbox. Goes off into some hobby of hers. Better yet just vanishes. Also a housekeeper. A hot housekeeper. Better yet an ugly Schwarzenegger housekeeper with incredible pussy. Ugly housekeeper who I don’t fuck for five years but then take test for Expendables or something. She becomes a hot housekeeper. A wife who can be white, Asian, at the flip of a switch. Better yet no switch. She just knows. God I’d like some fruit. Blueberries. A piece of chicken. I don’t know. God grant me The Witcher 4. Elder Scrolls 6- even you don’t have that power. God let me not be selfish. Thank you for the birds. God give my enemies hot tight pussy. God, please, anything. Anything but my old man dick and this fucking conference call.

The Gift

20 Oct

Peter Marlow/ Magnum

On her 12th birthday her mother gave her a red envelope from the mail. The family was poor. The father a drunk. The kids beat her up at school. The envelope had no return address. The upper left hand corner just said:

A GIFT

Well open it, said her mother. And she did.

It was a check for one million dollars. Continue reading

Tetas Grandes

11 Oct

Supposed to write something positive but that’s horseshit. Look I love the squirrels and sunshine but it’s fucking enough of this house arrest. The vaccine makes your T cells gnaw through the nerves in your spine and the drugs will be horseshit and it’s time to let the obese, elderly and immunocompromised die. Sorry fattie. I’m sure there’s a buffet in heaven. But work from home and lift from home and Skype date from home because every boring cunt Bumble lawyer dutifully visits her stupid Korean grandmother twice a week– I’m done. Eight months was plenty. CA governor Gavin Newsom who should not be shot and LA mayor Eric Garcetti who should not be dragged behind a Jeep over 12 miles of cholla cactus will never let this lockdown end. There will always be some reason to extend it. Save the old people the fat people the poor little abuelitas, boo hoo.
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Princesita Bella

27 Sep

In the park a woman asked me to save her from a crazy Mexican trying to molest her. He kept following her, she said. Wanting to give her a drawing. Excuse me this guy’s bothering me, really scaring me. Can you please pretend we’re together. Continue reading