Prayer Number 8

30 Oct

Lord thank you for not giving me a woman. Thank you for my free time with the birds in the morning. Thank you for the space in my bed. The silence. Cooking what I want. Cleaning when I want. Not looking at texts when I want. Lord thank you for my early bedtime. Passing out watching James Bond. Listening to Youtubers talk about George R R Martin. Thank you for my new fat not mattering. Nose hairs not mattering. Thank you for working from home with no one here. Jacking off before meetings. Jacking off to women I knew. Who I’d hate to see now for any reason but fucking.

That’s not quite true. I liked listening to them. But thank you for not having to dance. Thank you for imaginary women in my DMs who scratch the itch of someone with a pussy impressed with me. It sates me to have some thirst trap painter from Canada think my stories are good. While she pines for some bassist living in a house paid for by his wife’s parents but don’t worry he’ll leave her for you real soon. Thank you for not knowing what (REDACTED) looks like. Letting me pretend I might get with her some day. Thank you for (REDACTED) having big tits. She doesn’t talk to me anymore.

Thank you for the old house falling down the hillside. Window sills at off angles to the windows. Cracks under the AC unit letting the cold air through and I just live with it. Thank you for no grass in the yard and no swimming pool being enough. Thank you for my bristly old gray cat being enough. Thank you for my car being enough, tumbleweeds in the yard enough, my job and title enough, my books enough. Thank you for no woman telling me I have some potential I could reach. If I only worked harder. Fought more. Thank you for letting me not fight with a woman. Fight over a woman. Let other men have them.

Lord thank you for nights not weeping over Anita’s new boyfriend. Not worrying about Agnes getting fucked by someone like Pharrell Williams when she works on his videos. Thank you for not giving me Stephanie. Having it be some other guy who moves in with her weird Baptist Filipino parents in Bakersfield. With her dad who impregnated his own niece back in Cebu. Thank you for keeping me out of that situation. Lord thank you for Angela being my friend, not here driving me to violence against women.

Some of them were great. But it’s nice not to have one now. Listen to the crows. Thank you for my sugar baby Veronica not being attracted to me. Being one of those Asian women who might not have a soul and just wants money. I like her. She tells good stories. Being in a room with me is someone’s side hustle. I felt a little bit of that feeling. Afraid she doesn’t like me. Could she— no. It’s a relief.

Angela was perfect but she was a fight I would have lost. Thank you for still being alive. Women make me jump out windows and hang myself from pipes. Women make me fire my Ruger 10/22 Takedown into my palette. They make me drink. They make me cry. Worry about money. Scared I better place high offers on houses in hip school districts. Take out mortgages and pay interest on interest forever. They tell you there’s a trick. You have to let it go to get it. I don’t know how you do it, and I don’t care, and thank you for that.

11 Responses to “Prayer Number 8”

  1. Anonymous October 30, 2022 at 1:55 pm #

    Thank you tacos for existing. You made me start writing for myself, showed some texts to some friends and family and some even asked me if I have anything published. I thank you for that.

    I hope god fulfils you and you don’t just try to deceive yourself.

    Also your writing sucks humongous black cock right now but wtf do I even know, compared to you I am a peon. I will still buy your gay Christian novella-if you write one that is.

  2. Anonyfuckingmous October 30, 2022 at 6:51 pm #

    Thank you for inspiring me to start writing 10 years ago. Now I’m sad, but people pay for my substack.

    • Anonymous October 30, 2022 at 7:19 pm #

      Link ?

  3. Anonymous November 1, 2022 at 4:59 pm #

    Loser lol

  4. Anonymous November 1, 2022 at 5:06 pm #

    Trust me, any woman who was unfortunate enough to believe in you, let you into her life hopeful that you’d appreciate the privilege and who once gave you a chance to be a good friend and partner…I’m certain she feels just as bitter and disgusted when the thought of you enters their mind as you do about “women.” Lonely because you deserve to be.

  5. gOoOober November 4, 2022 at 8:00 pm #

    I should’ve listened to Mena4 about toxoplasmosis years ago. but back then he didn’t really identify a treatment. now we know that any animal antiparasitic might be a good move against parasites in general, although I’m not sure what works best against the parasite that causes toxoplasmosis. joe rogan took the oral ivermectin pill and seems to be doing fine. not sure what sort of pets he has but a lot of ailments are tied to parasites, including just simply not feeling good. i don’t own a cat but my fuckin neighbor does. and there’s a stray cat that walks around nearby.

    • Anonymous November 6, 2022 at 6:13 pm #

      Take your meds

  6. shillberg November 8, 2022 at 10:21 am #

    tacos since your “ways to get a gf” poast was popular, might i suggest writing one about “ways to get sober”…come’on, jack. you know it will be a BANGER 100 no cap fr fr. and it will help many. you wanna help people don’tchu??

  7. unemployed man November 13, 2022 at 9:13 pm #

    DT, I need a job. Do me just one favor: Add me on Linkedin when I send you the request, eventually. That’s all. One click. Don’t even have to acknowledge me beyond that. I want back in; back to the grind. A desk job. Something that won’t destroy my body. I won’t ask for a high salary. Mid-range pay for mid-tier work. You don’t have to recommend me or write a review. Just click “Yes” when I request to add you to my network. I’m dying here man. I need fiat. Failed at crypto, failed at starting my own business. This is it. I’m staring down the barrel and something has to change. Just one key Linkedin connection will open up doors, where I can get my foot back in after leaving. I don’t want your job specifically, but something similar. Not even in the same city. You know what’s worse than being a self-loathing wagie? Being a self-loathing unemployed man. No money, no pussy. Lots of time, though. And lots of parks nearby with squirrels. But I can’t fuck a squirrel.

    • angry online November 15, 2022 at 8:50 pm #

      shut the fuck up fag

      • Anoniemouse November 23, 2022 at 9:34 am #

        faptain’s log. judeo-christian calendar date: 11-23-2022. I am still an imbecile who makes avoidable mistakes. I am still under-sexed and under-employed. the days keep changing, but will I change? maybe I should sign up for the new andrew tate self-improvement blueprint program. escape the matrix or whatnot.

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