The Bee

9 Apr

My life will have no meaning or purpose. But it’s nice out in the yard. I saw an unusual bee. Tried to take its picture. When I got the phone close it flew away. In the tall grass you can only see it when it moves. You wait for it to land. Try again to take a picture. The camera won’t focus. When it gets too close the bee flushes. You lose it for second. You see it flying, and it lands. I almost get upset about not getting a picture of the bee. But I don’t. You can take my word for it.

It was smaller than a normal bee. Whiter yellows. Glossier. Less furry. A small elegant bee. My life will have no meaning or purpose. But it’s nice out in the yard.

10 Responses to “The Bee”

  1. Kushner standing in unemployment line April 9, 2023 at 12:40 pm #

    A new poast this early in the month is a sign of good luck. I am going to buy a lottery ticket and perhaps win. Hey Deltacos, just an annoying but *friendly reminder*…you’re (relatively) rich, Champ. You can afford one of them fancy cameras with built in zoom lens. A good sony or fuji is around two hundred dollarydoos last time i checked. Have it around your neck ready to snap a photo of some cool-looking bird or bee or flower. You enjoy awesome nature clips on youtube, right? Well, all those folks usually use a pro camera rather than a phone, and they share it with the rest of us plebs who couldn’t be there to see the thing. Nothing wrong with a phone but it has clear limitations. If phone cameras could replace actual cameras, there wouldn’t be any real cameras still being sold, but they are. Phone cameras suck because they take time, you gotta unlock it with some f4g 6 digit code, then tap the little f4gg0t camera icon, and by the time you do all that sh!t the bird or bee has already flown the fug away. so you’re left holding your overpriced smartphone like a nerd, and all you’ve got is your memory and your words. I’ll take your word for it this time with this bee, but a picture is worth a thousand, and it never hurts to have both.

    • Just go outside April 11, 2023 at 11:51 am #

      DT’s writing is good because he never bothered to get a decent camera or learn how to take better phone pics. His pics are usually blurry or not composed. However, that’s why he’s not a photographer with a nature photography twitter or instagram. He’s a writer who describes sublime moments, like seeing a little rare bee, and interpreting it as a message from God.

      • RecoveringPussyAddict April 25, 2023 at 7:41 am #

        it looks like your comment struck a nerve. Tacos has poasted some really crisp, nice photos from his recent hike in the angeles forest. waterfalls, creeks, the whole shebang.

  2. Caleb April 11, 2023 at 5:19 am #

    Even without meaning and purpose, we still have those moments of contentment. Gifts from who knows where.

    The grocery store around the corner from the shop where I work has these cheap sandwiches and I’d been eating them dry because I couldn’t find the condiment station. Just the other day I found the station. They have packets of honey mustard that goes great with the roast beef and shaved turkey. It really does help.

    • 99cent pussy during Bidenflation times April 11, 2023 at 10:03 pm #

      Caleb, I’m glad you found the free condiments area. But you could’ve just axed them “ayo where dat mofukkin sauce at?!?!”. This is a lesson to be less timid and more inquisitive, even in situations of free flavor boosters. To always be searching and demanding for that tasty sauce. It’s the little things that make life bearable. I guess you appreciate the sauce more after being sauceless for quite some time. I feel the same about PUSSY.

  3. douglas April 13, 2023 at 9:11 pm #

    this is financial advice (from an artist with over $100 million), get out while you’re ahead, and the answer is Love:

  4. Anonymusk April 29, 2023 at 9:45 am #

    Dear Mr. Tacos,

    Congrats on your 20,000 book sales. Just curious, is that the lifetime total (so far) for all of your titles? And the total pre-tax compensation from Amazon was $70K? Thanks in advance for your reply. I am from small village and wish to self-publish but have no audience.

  5. hypnotist May 9, 2023 at 3:03 pm #

    Can you do a simple favor for me, DT?
    I want you to look in the mirror and repeat these sentences out loud:
    I will continue writing and finish my next book.
    I will own land.
    I will marry a cute, submissive wife.
    I will have children.
    I will be happy.

  6. Bennifer Lopez May 13, 2023 at 4:02 pm #

    Tacos shud switch to podcasting. No one wants to read anymore. We’re the tl;dr generation. He has a pleasant New Englander voice (no homo). Like listening to a young Charlie Rose. Or a more intellectual Joe Rogan. I like to listen to DelTaco’s audio posts while I drive uber and doordash. It makes me feel edgy, confident. This one time after listening to the DT substack, I mustered up the courage to ask a lonely housewife out. She said no, but at least I tried. WAGMI.

  7. anonie May 26, 2023 at 9:25 am #


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