After my dad died my friend from AA invited me to climb Mexico’s tallest volcano. I said yes. I thought: not only will this be cool, but I can scatter Dad’s ashes up there.
I was picturing a warm volcano in the jungle. Parrots and palm trees. Something Aztecs and Mayans might have thrown people into.
It turns out the tallest volcano is so tall it’s frozen ice and snow on top. You need about $8,000 worth of titanium ice climbing equipment to get up there.
You have to buy a special tent or a hammock with posts you drill into ice cliffs. It takes many days, and you climb like 800 feet a day. So I flaked on it.
Frozen in a crack in an ice sheet in the tropics- never have a death you have to explain.
And I felt bad. Because I blueballed my father’s ghost thinking about scattering his ashes to the winds on the volcano. Then not doing it. And wasting my shot to have this life changing adventure.
I forgot about it till I went back home for Christmas. Asked my stepmom where are Dad’s ashes. And she gestured to the shelf. She said he’s here with us.
When I die put me in the couch where Susannah and the dog are laying. The dog tears the back cushion off the velcro to make a nest. Stretching out finally calm after demanding her stuffed rat get thrown across the house a thousand times. Stretching out and wheezing, snoring, chewing on her paw, passing into dreams. Levering her weight on the cushion so it folds over and she’s close to you. Susannah passing out to the TV, and the cars going by.
delicioustacos 
The advantage of organized religion is that you don’t have to think about that sort of thing; it’s already determined. Some people find comfort in knowing the very cemetery plot where they’ll end up and all the rites that will take place as they’re put there
my favorite park about the change in this blog (beside you being basically a completely different person for happy reasons) is how fewer comments there are of people asserting some knowledge about whatever it is you’re talking about. Even 3 “good job, happy for you”s is better (imo) than 1,000 “you gotta move to Thailand…”
yikes. This was intended as a comment. Not reply…just fyi
matter…energy…ashes…dust….air…….liquid….volcano ash. art. science. magick. sex magick. the hall o’cost. brutalist architecture. adrien brody. georgina. big harv.
delicioustacos got me into watching clips of asian slvts get B L A C K E D
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