Being a drunk makes your life high adventure. Stumbling down the street trying to get home. Trying to get up the stairs. Waking up hung over willing your fingers to log on and pay a bill before the power gets shut off. Not knowing if you’ll make it. Waking up next to a human form not knowing- monster, murderer, beautiful nice lady, did I fuck her, did I use a condom, could I even get hard, did I get her pregnant. Will she accuse me of rape. Being a drunk gives your life stakes. Being drunk makes your life a TV show, the Twilight Zone, is she my sister, is she the cholo neighbor’s girlfriend, is she my landlord’s underage niece. Did I piss the bed.
Trying to get up the MC Escher stairs with the phone flashlight, do I have my keys, do I need to climb the wall and break in through the window, is this even the right apartment. Dodging cars dodging trees trying to stay vertical standing upside down on the planet with the sky whipping around and the stars yawning and swaying below me. Up the endless stairs did I get banned from the bar from the liquor store did I text my boss do I even have a boss anymore where’s my bed where’s the cat spinning and spinning trying to get my shoes off and is this even my apartment and is this is a dream I’m having about my life ten years ago and I’ll wake up and check emails. I miss it.
delicioustacos 
i need to go balls-deep in Nicole Kidman.
Now that you mention it…I miss it. I miss being irresponsible. I miss going randomly from bar to bar, like a honey bee. I miss the high adventure. Not remembering where I parked, not knowing if my car will be towed. Not knowing is chaos but sometimes it’s a nice change from the monotony of knowing. I miss that time a woman said she wanted me to fist her and because I was too wasted I went elbow deep. I miss the taste of my own vomit. Cursed DT, you’ve made me want to get back on the sauce!
yikes, the comment section has so many safeguards now, it’s so CLENCHED, that only 1 schizo (me) still bothers to leave a comment. DeeTee, pls unclench your comments section. We promise we won’t say anything mean or bad or whatever. racism and hatred are low-vibe energy anyway. i’m all about spreading laughter.
the author of this piece is an Israel first Epstein supporting cuckboy LMAO
Israel deserves unlimited support.
Epstein did nothing wrong.
Buying PEELTR even on Nov 18 would’ve been a good move, since it’s trending higher now. YOU WILL OWN NOTHING AND YOU WILL LOVE THE POD, IDIOT.
you’re both fools. reject politics. embrace delicious wet, succulent tacos.
being a droonkard is my only personality trait
(oh godddd it’s friday, i must get droooonk!!!!)