The Crustaceans

15 Jun

When I was a kid, I used to always have this vision, this sensation, that there were these slimy black crustaceans, kind of like a crayfish, visible only to me. They lived underneath everything. And whenever I would touch a wall or a chair or something they would latch on to my hands and fingers with their knobby little black pincers, first a few and then more and more until there were thousands of them swarming up my arms fast as fuck and eating me. They had prickly little pincer-legs, glossy black eyes on twitchy little stalks, rows of serrated little mouth-feelers rippling up to a weird spiny-armored alien mandible– and I would basically have to shake the shit out of my hands to get them off, so hard that my thumb would snap into my fingers and make a loud noise. That was the whole point: my mind wanted to make me do something loud so that other people would notice and I would be embarrassed. When I saw that other people could hear it and were looking the sensation would only get worse, more vivid. I could feel their sharp little serrated mouths chewing into my skin, and the urge to shake them off would just fucking amplify… and I would just be standing there like a dick, everybody looking at me, with my arms kind of hanging out by my sides like a crippled bird, shaking the shit out of my hands and snapping my fingers and thumbs together. This was from like 10 to 13.

8 Responses to “The Crustaceans”

  1. Anonymous June 15, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

    What made this go away? How did you realize that it was “my mind wanted to make me do something loud so that other people would notice and I would be embarrassed”?

  2. lenore June 15, 2012 at 7:53 pm #

    was wondering, what exactly is the criteria for a post to be labled “Winston Churchill’s Dick”?

    • lenore June 15, 2012 at 7:57 pm #

      *labeled ( probably shouldn’t comment under the influence…)

      • delicioustacos June 15, 2012 at 9:20 pm #

        It’s the “misc” category.

  3. Fakegirlfriend June 15, 2012 at 8:08 pm #

    It’s ok baby. They can’t hurt you now. I will keep you safe (and also–try avon’s ‘skin so soft’ –a remarkable repellant!)

    • lenore June 16, 2012 at 9:06 am #

      ‘skin so soft’… lol. good one!


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