Let’s Go Out for Coffee, She Says

22 Dec

Well no. There are day date guys who take girls to coffee and museums. Then there are night date guys girls drink with later. On your night date the How’s OKCupid for You talk happens. I actually went on another date today, she tells you. He was nice. He’s an architect. That text was from him, it says it was nice seeing you today, thanks for coming, I hope I can get to know you better. A nice guy but I just don’t think it’s going to work out. Later she’s at your place trying to pet your cat who wants to be left alone. She’s drunk and can’t read his signals. I’m not usually like this, she tells you. Don’t cum in me.

Comments 19 Comments
Categories OKCupid/ Dating

19 Responses to “Let’s Go Out for Coffee, She Says”

filmjames December 22, 2014 at 6:04 pm #

You are my fucking hero.

Reply
- Becky B. December 23, 2014 at 12:30 pm #
  
  Like the Death from Above 1979 song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bOg3aSRexo
  
  Reply
convolvement December 22, 2014 at 6:05 pm #

And you fucked her and will likely never talk to her again, so how’s that for working out?

Nothing wrong with that, just as valid, but I’d think that at this point, perhaps the conclusion would be foregone that your quest for human connection clearly can’t be fulfilled using women from the Internet in this manner.

Maybe you should just resign yourself to a life alone.

Big fan, keep up the regularity, please.

Reply
- Anonymous December 23, 2014 at 6:45 am #
  
  Yeah, why did you even take her home? I mean, the changes have been noticeable but…that should have been obvious…only clingy chicks are still going to want you after you bone on the first date. If that’s what you want, I know a great place not too far from my apartment.
  
  Reply
Anonymous December 22, 2014 at 6:11 pm #

Cum in me!!

Reply
- Atlanta Man December 22, 2014 at 6:27 pm #
  
  I once met a girl at a bar I frequent in Atlanta. She was a cute 21 year old out with some friends, and we ended up leaving together. 2 hours I was fucking her balls deep, with my finger up her ass. When we were finished her phone was vibrating, it was a nice guy who had taken her to dinner earlier before she met up with her friends making sure she was home safely. not to be outdone when we did it that night I was sure to come in her mouth so she had a free meal for a second time that evening. I am a true gentleman.
  
  Reply
  - Anonymous December 23, 2014 at 6:34 am #
    
    Are you the same bro who went on about the possibility of being some pixie girl’s dream boy? Whats your point? Dtizzle is an actual work of art. All you have to offer is the occasional “I come here to steal attention. Sometimes I actually get a little!”
bowler hat December 22, 2014 at 6:33 pm #

i always take girls for coffee in the afternoon, then fuck them. sometimes there’s a drink in the middle, or perhaps back at my place. but, coffee, walk in the park, job done. 80% of the time, it works every time.
best thing about late afternoon/early evening boning is there’s no need for the lady to stay over.
no flash, no gimmicks, no unhealthy smokey bars, just good clean fun.

try it

Reply
guest December 22, 2014 at 7:03 pm #

I cringe when she suggests coffee or a museum, but sometimes it pays off on the second or third date. I’ve had some good lays and FWBs this way. Sometimes it can even escalate after the coffee/museum when you don’t expect it. SNLs are great but not every girl is going to be down.

Reply
Severe Tire Damage December 22, 2014 at 7:29 pm #

Even your one-paragraph posts are entertaining as hell!

Reply
Anonymous December 22, 2014 at 9:18 pm #

when did your commenters get so shitty. what happened to pffttsiimbland and sylviasarah shit talk and nikol. now it’s just boilerplate dbag stuff

Reply
- Anonymous December 23, 2014 at 12:00 am #
  
  Aw, I’m remembered 🙂
  
  Reply
  - Can I Get A Refund On This Rape-Whistle? December 23, 2014 at 2:00 pm #
    
    If life was a bowl of death metal, you’d be dismembered.
  - Anonymous December 23, 2014 at 4:22 pm #
    
    That sounds like the beginning of a sweet love song
- pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn January 18, 2015 at 8:36 pm #
  
  Sylvia still posts anonymously, as you can see. You can tell which comments are hers because they look like they were written in a foreign language and run through google translate, like this one:
  
  “You still were unhappy. We few who encourage you probably are thinking of at least yor clarity. If your life is boring now at least it’s because you’re making the choice to be boring. If it was your addictions leading you, I mean, you were still unhappy. You’re just an unhappy person but your clarity can give you the choice to do what you want. If in your clear mind you decide to be the God to losers-looking-for subservient-Asian-wives-but-keep dating-spoiled-American-cunts, do it. Maybe one day you’ll buy that motorcycle they all promise will save your life. At least it’s you, then, and not the drugs. You don’t have the strength to be more than a boring old sober guy. And that’s ok.”
  
  That’s GOTTA be a Sylvia comment.
  
  Why don’t you use your name anymore, Sylvia?
  
  Reply
Anonymous December 24, 2014 at 12:56 pm #

Post a po box so I can buy you a gift. Even though it’s late and I could just send it to Nikol.

Reply
the eternal soul of a slutty male slut December 29, 2014 at 8:01 pm #

your writing is inspiring. in that it inspires me not to be a self-loathing loser.

Reply
jeff January 1, 2015 at 8:42 pm #

Definition of irony: Reading DT and an eharmony commercial comes on TV promising perfect matches with women who don’t mind you skeeting on the first date.

Reply