Strap In, We’re Dying Alone

12 May

I’m not good enough, my book isn’t good enough, it’s not as good as Mike Ma’s book, I’m not tall enough– 6 foot 3 or above– I’m too fat, the bottom of my six pack has fat on it, I’m not handsome enough, not rich enough, my future earning potential is not high enough to start a family– $300K plus per year– my nose hairs are too long bristly and white, my dick is not big enough, my nuts not small compact tight and symmetrical enough, the nuts themselves are fucked up and then too my scrotum is too long. My butthole not hairless enough. My books don’t sell well enough. When they do it’s not to enough women. I don’t have enough guns crossbows and C4 explosives to protect my putative children when shit hits the fan. I’m not liberal enough. I’m too associated with future mass murdering incel Nazis. I’m just not cool. I’m not famous enough. I could do something about it but you know, who gives a fuck.

20 Responses to “Strap In, We’re Dying Alone”

  1. Smol May 12, 2019 at 11:12 am #

    We all love a happy ending. ❤

  2. dickycone May 12, 2019 at 12:04 pm #

    I hate it when that happens.

  3. em May 12, 2019 at 1:04 pm #

    hope you don’t mind me saying, but your writing slaps ass, man! don’t stop…

  4. JB May 12, 2019 at 1:23 pm #

    You can write as good as Roissy if you wanted but…

    • Poptarts May 14, 2019 at 5:32 pm #

      CH is hard to top.

  5. anon May 12, 2019 at 1:45 pm #

    Someday I’ll manage a method of mass producing games and I’ll offer to pay you $10k for 10k words and take you to events with a bunch of early 20s game/art/design school girls fixated on “ludonarrative.” Most just have the spirit of hedonistic failed writers, but if we can get jobs under them they’ll qualify for women in stem grants and low interest loans. Maybe just tour game design colleges giving talks on “game feel” and private tutoring young capable learners.

  6. Abracaxandra May 12, 2019 at 5:01 pm #

    Step 1: Find Periwinkle
    Step 2: Frolic in said Periwinkle
    Step 3: Continue not giving a fuck
    Step 4: Repeat ad infinitum

    • david smith May 17, 2019 at 4:25 pm #

      I think you have got everything you can from LA. Might be time to try Austin or some med sized city. Fuck the desert and anything north of Kansas City. Sure they don’t have all the things to do as LA but don’t most people zone out at home watching GOT on a rent a center TV anyway?

  7. Anonymous May 12, 2019 at 9:08 pm #

    Tacos, do you have OCD? I get that feeling from a lot of your stuff. Really liked FSGN by the way, after the halfway mark I couldn’t stop reading till I finished.

    • delicioustacos May 13, 2019 at 7:34 am #

      Yes, I had terrible OCD in my youth and still have it now.

  8. GRRRRRRRRM May 13, 2019 at 6:56 pm #

    Mr. Delicious Tacos, kind sir, will you be attending Roosh’s speaking tour. How is the garden going. I recently learned it is very easy to grow your own celery. Just place the end base into some water and leave it on the windowsill; new roots shall begin to grow. Who would’ve thunk!

    • david smith May 17, 2019 at 4:29 pm #

      I think you have got everything you can from LA. Might be time to try Austin or some med sized city. Fuck the desert and anything north of Kansas City. Sure they don’t have all the things to do as LA but don’t most people zone out at home watching GOT on a rent a center TV anyway?

      • michel von nigglesworth IV of house rotschild May 17, 2019 at 9:00 pm #

        the main draw of living in LA is the access to pussy, high in both concentration and diversity. this webblog is a testament to that. its not just the stereotypical “struggling actresses” but there’s basically women everywhere, of all ages, strutting around in slutty clothing…thing is, that’s true of any big city and also of small college towns. so what other reason is there to live in LA….the night life…proximity to various beaches, mountains, deserts. drive out to palm springs for the weekend. drive out to arrowhead or big bear. i mean, if you’re going to live in any major US city, then your best options are probably LA, Miami or Vegas. SF or NYC are much worse in terms of cost and congestion.

        i agree with you though. there’s tons of things to do in LA, many things that can be done alone—just you and nature—but it’s true: most people just stay home, jerking off to online shit or the latest popular TV show. it’s really pathetic. i have to get out of LA before i neck myself. whether you read delicious tacos and interpret him as a real person, or as a fictional character, the underlying message is that life in LA is pretty shitty, unsatisfying, and will drive a man towards madness. you can see delicious tacos already going mad, because he ends every sentence with “baby” as if he’s some sort of hugh hefner-type playboy.

  9. Poptarts May 14, 2019 at 5:29 pm #

    Whenever I’m walking around Target and see that guy, you know that guy..tall, white and slim with a baseball hat and a five’o clock shadow pushing the baby carrier and his young perky yup wife by his side looking contented as hell, I always think of DT. That was what you aspire to be? That is really living right? Maybe it is, maybe not.

    • holocaust museum day game May 15, 2019 at 4:14 pm #

      every man i have seen out with his wife and kids has looked tired and bored…like he’s trapped, even if in a comfortable trap. and every time, the wife looks post-wall, kind of frumpy and bitchy. in amerizog, you rarely see a confident, happy man with his much younger wife and well-behaved kids having a grand old time at the farmer’s market. instead, the wife is usually starting to get fat, the man looks burnt out, the kids are glued to phones, ipad, or misbehaving.

      if you want an extreme example, look at photos of celebs like tobey maguire and ben affleck. both look absolutely rekt. caged tigers.

  10. dyler turden May 20, 2019 at 11:41 am #

    pls increase your book prices to $14.88
    then mark it down to $9.11
    come on
    do it for the lelz :^)

    • sensible and rational man May 20, 2019 at 6:47 pm #

      how dare you try to tell Tacos what to do. he’s a grown man with decades of experience, a fully-conscious free will and unique creative vision. he’s not going to jeopardize his amazon reputation by dog-whistling to you whigger nationalists. hitler was a patsy and hitler lost. get over it. the west is done. go east, there are pale skin chinawomen begging for attention.

      when i see items priced for $XX.88 at walmart i cringe and avoid because its obvious one of you “redpilled” retards were behind that pricing decision. also, no one cares about 9/11. its been memoryholed. everyone would rather talk about the latest pop culture dogshit like game o’ thrones. take the blackpill. there is no salvation. only slow, gradual decay and then sudden collapse. at least have some fun before you take the final dirt nap.

  11. r/smalldickproblems May 26, 2019 at 7:09 am #

    “my dick is not big enough”
    “I could do something about it but you know, who gives a fuck.”

    You can’t. Genetics are destiny. A four inch wiener will only get you laughs and rejections. You’d have to have a lot status and money to get a woman, and this, on the other hand, requires certain traits that are mostly innate, like intelligence (IQ), about 80% heritable, and certain character traits.

    Eugenics works. Without eugenics, we will end up like the Middle East.

  12. todd May 28, 2019 at 11:56 am #

    hey fag, those “future mass murdering incel Nazis” are your biggest supporters, book buyers, twitter interactions, etc. we are your bros and you constantly shit on us so you can virtue-signal for “more female readers”. if you continue down this path you’ll be forever stuck at around 10k-20k twatter followers and around the same range of book sales, which will only decrease over time.

    want to know why BAP has higher book sales and higher number of positive reviews? it’s because he’s not constantly trashing his readers and followers as “incel nazis”. just some food for thought. i know you’re just going to tell me to fuck off and eat shit. that’s fine. i will. no more pageviews or book sales coming from me.

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