You get scared when you leave a white collar job that you’re gonna end up picking up trash. Well, not to worry. You can’t get that job. It’s a union gig. A city gig. You get scared that you’re gonna get trapped in some soul-crushing civil service shit for years like Bukowski. But you can’t get a job at the post office. They’re cutting back. You have to know somebody. You can’t get a job flipping burgers. You’re overqualified (in my case, this is true). You can’t do shit labor on a construction site. Half of Mexico is up here trying to do that.
So what can you do. You can get a job in a STEM field, they tell you. If only you had gotten your degree in a STEM field, you would be in great demand. Science, technology, engineering, mathematics. A computer programmer, in other words. Do you know how fucking hard that shit is? I could barely pass my intro to C++ class, and I’m smart. Your ability to do that shit is purely genetic, and it’s the same gene that makes you smell like cheese and talk like that pedophile’s RealDoll from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Hearing that little pussy talk makes me think we need more bullying in schools. There is no talented computer programmer on the face of this earth who can buy a six pack at the liquor store and make small talk with the clerk normally. There certainly isn’t one who can speak to a woman. Continue reading
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