Gertrude Part Four: Further Proof That STD’s Are a Fake Boogeyman

At this point it’s almost like “what do I have to do.”  I’m the Whitey Bulger of herpes, flagrantly committing crimes and then dodging punishment for decades while walking around with my hugely recognizable face in a heavily populated city.  What do I have to do to get an STD.   I mean, maybe this girl– there could still be an incubation period.  When did I start fucking her– probably like a week before this test.  So no AIDS would have come through or anything.

But what the fuck would SHE have to do to get an STD. It’s easier for girls to get it than guys, right?  That’s what they tell you in sex ed.  Sixty per cent of new HIV transmissions are women, eighty seven per cent of new syphilis transmissions are women, blah blah blah…  That’s what they tell you in health class.  They also tell you there’s a big chance that if you fuck someone unprotected you’ll get an STD.  So fuck what they said in health class.  I’m not gonna believe anything that came out of that shit anymore.  I’m gonna go back to my childhood understanding, based on speculation from an ass porn mag given to me by a hobo, that a baby is made when a guy puts his penis into a girl’s butt and pees.

How does this girl not have an STD.  She rawdogged a guy for money.  She emailed me off my web site about how I love rawdogging strangers, saying “we should have sex.”  “We should use a condom thought because I haven’t had my STD test yet.” So we used a condom of cour— hahahahaha.  Fuck no we didn’t.  She fucked (REDACTED minor celebrity) who is known as an undiscriminating cocksman.  He has been with thousands and thousands of the filthiest Los Angeles skanks.  He did not give her an STD.  She fucked guys off craigslist when she was 17 (on a related note– there are 17 year old girls peddling ass on craigslist; I should look into that).  Every story she tells is about fucking, abortions, the morning after pill, guys whom she is fucking getting hung up on her, guys whom she is fucking flipping out on her.  Oh, you mean Steve the sculptor?  No, Steve the dentist; I don’t think I told you about him yet.  She is a savage cockfiend who at the age of 22 has choked down more veiny condomless wangs than there are stars in the sky.  How does she not have an STD.

Nikol has never had an STD.    Nikol has been being gang raped by hillbillies since she went into foster care at four years old.  I am not– that is not a funny exaggeration.  She was fucking gang raped by hillbillies at age four, and the constant and unprotected meaty penetration by genetic undesirables has marched on ceaselessly every day of her life since then. Fake girlfriend has never had an STD.  Fake girlfriend peddled her ass to ecstasy and heroin dealers in San Francisco in the 90’s– bisexual guys, a lot of them.  So they would have been laying pipe into wart laden shitty assholes in sweaty back rooms in some club night called “The Eight Buck Fuck” before rawdogging her.  She did not get an STD. I fucked a half-retarded Chinese chick who had fucked a homeless guy she met on the subway, for Christs’s sake.  “They are saying he is a prostitution,” she said of him. Meaning, her friends thought he blew random old guys for cash, and he rawdogged her, and then I rawdogged her.  I did not get an STD.

What’s it gonna take? Do I have to fuck a piece of undercooked chicken?  Do I have to send my dick back in time to 1349 and rub it on  fleabitten rats brought by the Mongol hordes?

What the fuck is it gonna take?  Or more appropriately, let’s ask: what the fuck is it gonna take before people get the fuck over using condoms, because the STD scare is obviously an overblown crock of shit.  It’s happening already.  A tidal change.  Eight years ago every girl I went in raw would without fail pester me the next morning about omigod what happened when’s the last time you got tested, and that was for EVERYTHING, right?  Not just the free HIV test from that gay thrift store where you buy old Irma Bombeck paperbacks and broken crock pots.  Eight years ago getting a girl to fuck you raw was a delicate dance of holding back, saying OK baby, let’s just wait then, eat her out a little more, pour her a few more glasses of reasonably priced California Central Coast pinot noir… keep trying and trying and you would get that unprotected sex that felt like wining the lottery.

Now it’s a paycheck.  Every girl goes down with no resistance, except the Jewish ones.  Even they will just tease you with “it’s not happening if you don’t put something on,” all cute… and it vanishes in five minutes.  We are awakening, as a society, to the abject bullshit that’s been stuffed down our craw since the closeted gay Jesus people and the sexless molested granola feminists formed their unholy antisex alliance and took up the fake straight AIDS scare as their nuke against pleasurable fucking.  More people are rawdogging.  More people are waking up to the bliss that comes from executing your true purpose on Earth.  We, the pioneers, have laid the groundwork for the youth, by showing them that you can fuck an alley cat’s asshole while a hobo gums your balls and walk away with your dick as sparkling clean as bone white china.  I would ask your gratitude, but, the pussy has been its own reward.

Anyway.  Excelsior.

Tags: AIDS, alan greenspan's leathery and discolored scrotum, condoms, fakegirlfriend, fucking, gertrude, herpes, male prostitutes, nikol, sex, std's, the bubonic plague, the whitey bulger of herpes, unprotected sex, whitey bulger