Girls with Herpes

29 Aug
image stolen from

image stolen from

I got it from a cheating ex, they say. In the 50’s girls would say they broke their hymen horseback riding. They fell on their cunt jumping over a fence. I got it from a cheating ex. Look, I know you got it from a third rate bass player in a bar toilet. I don’t give a shit. You think if I had a pussy I wouldn’t be fucking everything on two legs? Good for you. But that’s the one lie. Otherwise they’re real up front. Listen, I have herpes. I get outbreaks about once a year. When I get sick. Sometimes it kicks up when I shave. Yes, it hurts. Anyway, would you ever sleep with me?

Sorry. Fuck no.

It’s too bad, because it’s bullshit on my part. Hypocrisy. I yap on and on about how STD’s aren’t a real threat. I rawdog everyone; I encourage everyone else to do the same. I’m sure I’ve fucked many, many people infected with the herpes virus. We all have it, they say. Or, fifty per cent of sexually active people have it. Which must mean me. The difference is, they have some flaw in their immune system that gives them outbreaks. I don’t. Fifty per cent– this feels like bullshit. Paranoid prigs trying to take the fun out of sex. If half of everyone has it, it can’t be a big deal, right?

Am I gonna put my money where my mouth is? Fuck no.

And it’s my loss. Because the girls with herpes are the coolest girls. I love me a filthy gutter skank. A woman who knows how the game is played. I had a date with a 25 year old Cambodian who was smart and interesting and projected Jean-Luc Godard movies on the wall while we got naked. Who knew: on mute, with no subtitles, his shit isn’t so bad. She wouldn’t let me touch her pussy. I have herpes, she said. She knew a bunch of my old friends, it turned out. Worked on cool art projects with them. I would have dated her. A keeper. I have herpes, she said. She did not say it was a cheating ex. She was too smart for that. I never called her again.

I’m sure I fuck a ton of girls with herpes. But I punish the good ones for not lying. For doing the right thing. Not only are they cool, always. Not only are they the exact sort of bohemian libertine I want to date. But they do the right thing and they take the hit for it. That’s balls. A person who suffers for honesty– that’s what “hero” means. Would you ever fuck this hero? Fuck no.

Who knows though. Are they really cooler than other girls, or do they just have to work for it? A girl with herpes will send you the first OKCupid message. It will be something funny, interesting. Her profile won’t be boilerplate. It will actually tell you things about her. Show a sense of humor. She’ll jump on IM with you and shoot the shit, have real conversations. She will make the first move. Ask you out. Ask if you’d ever sleep with her.

In short, she’ll behave like a man. And if she can show herself to be cool enough, you’ll think about it. If she pitches you a cool date. If she makes you laugh. If she’s perfectly pretty and into the exact same books and movies and music…. if there is just no way you could stand not to meet her. See what I’m saying? You become a woman. There is a HUGE reason never to meet this person and she has to come up with a thousand tiny ways to pick away at it. You’re gonna put every little cool thing about her one one side of the scale and the huge heavy lump of HERPES on the other and 99 times out of a hundred she’ll be found wanting. She’s to you what you are to every other woman. A leper.

This is what equality looks like. Cool, attractive women having to try. Men blowing them off in spite of everything. Because of fear, because of bullshit danger you read about on the internet, because of the idea that once you’re with this person you are marked. This is what role reversal looks like. And men: this is what it takes to put you on equal footing, in the dating world. You’re about as valuable as a woman who has painful weeping sores on her cunt. Everything else you are, everything you do, might just barely make up for this. Leper.

Except for a few of us, men all have to fight for it. We’re all lepers. But so are older women. Ugly women. I would say fat women, but everyone messages fat women for a quick gutter fuck. They get love. But all men, all women over 40, all girls with overbites, underbites, big chin small nose, big nose small chin, over-large proto-hominid forehead, acne…. everyone who is not a cute young woman is a fuck leper. Our entire society is geared toward giving pretty young women a free and easy life in exchange for the hope of pussy. We are all peasants to cute girls’ Marie Antoinette.

Still. I take no joy seeing them carted to the guillotine.


28 Responses to “Girls with Herpes”

  1. dressyarson August 29, 2013 at 9:35 pm #

    This is sort of like the world I envision after sex robots. If sex became a non-issue, women would be forced to develop personality and virtue. Exercise the slightest degree of self-discipline in the number of pastries they shove in their faceholes. Think of the countless hours of creative energy futilely expended by men in pursuit of women. The technological singularity will probably arrive a geological nano-second later.

    • hy August 30, 2013 at 2:34 am #

      Nah – the opposite. isn’t the point of sexbots that they give it up easy? Men will no longer be “forced to develop personality and virtue”

      • dressyarson August 30, 2013 at 2:42 am #

        When sex robots get here, they won’t be a full replacement for human relationships. They’ll simply make sex a much smaller factor in them. Full legalization and acceptance of prostitution would probably have the same result, ie. the next Enlightenment.

  2. BB753 August 30, 2013 at 3:17 am #

    Sexbots are a bad idea. I want real flesh. How about developing female clones by the thousands, identical to cherry-picked 10´s in every respect, except they would lack free willl, emotions, be sterile and have an IQ of 50? (don´t tell me, DT, that it sounds like many of your dates) I´m sure some mad genetist could engineer those. Imagine, legal sex-slaves? Not quite fully human, except where it counts. Japs can keep their sexbots, thank you. I want real pussies.

    • Father O'Hara September 20, 2015 at 12:08 am #

      We have a huge blob of black,mixed race,Latina,asian and other women with limited prospects.Theyd gladly give up Target and Burger King to be well paid hoes.Losers get laid, hoes gets paid.

  3. Little Miss S August 30, 2013 at 6:11 am #

    Very insightful analogy!

  4. DT Fan #4 August 30, 2013 at 12:02 pm #

    no no no no no no.

    Look, you cannot get herpes if the other person is not having an outbreak. Or, you can, but the chances are like getting hit by lightning, twice, on the same day. This is the advice of a supremely competent dermatologist I know personally. Maybe with some people it’s hard to tell if they’re breaking out down there, but the fact still stands: you’re not gonna catch the herp if your partner ain’t breakin’ out. What you should do is get into a relationship with a person, and, if they have herpes, just don’t have sex when they’re breaking out.

    • fucking shutup already August 30, 2013 at 1:54 pm #

      Stop giving medical advice over the internet you fucking non-doctor. Jackass.

    • nikolhasler August 30, 2013 at 4:05 pm #

      Sigh. Herpes is a viral condition which can be passed from skin to skin contact even when there is no outbreak present. It is a ton more likely to contract herpes when the host is mid-outbreak, but you can still get it when they aren’t.

      • fucking shutup already August 31, 2013 at 4:41 pm #

        that’s right, nikol, you plain ass hot sexy annoying cunt flower shit pearl drop.

      • john March 23, 2014 at 7:47 pm #

        i don’t have herpes, but, I would be such a turn on getting it from you. If you are interested. Email me a nude pix to johnvernerdick@gmail.. Lay it on me baby.

  5. Casey Vidgen August 30, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    I stopped using okc a few weeks ago after one too many awkward dates lol. My coworker showed me and I’m a big fan of that over the others in terms of actually meeting people vs. just entertainment. It has a different approach that feels less sketchy cause you and your friends essentially act as “wingmen”. I like that it helps you find things to do too. Skout’s okay too, but still has it’s fair share of creepers

    • Imperial Leather August 31, 2013 at 2:45 pm #

      your posting this exact same message all over the sphere troll…fuck off

  6. Anonymous August 31, 2013 at 5:01 am #

    In healthy individuals, the virus lies dormant and does not cause overt disease. However, it poses a significant risk when contracted by unborn children – whose immune system has not matured yet – and individuals with compromised immune function. According to a report from the official Herpes dating site === HerpesSoulMate?C0M, over 400 million are afflicted with herpes, HPV, HIV/AIDS or any other STDs in the world.

    • cindy lou cut your racist dick off who September 2, 2013 at 7:55 pm #

      If a woman gives a shit about her potential kids’ health, then she’s assigning ownership of her body to somebody else. She’s property. That’s the patriarchy. That’s slavery, terrorism, white privilege, slut-shaming, fat-shaming, and war.

      Just, you know, in case anybody cares about, oh, terrorising and enslaving women, and, you know, little stuff like that. Not that there’s anything wrong with you thinking “those bitches” are your property, right?

      • Father O'Hara September 20, 2015 at 12:11 am #

        Oh yeah I wanna fuck YOU!!!

  7. noeman tom September 3, 2013 at 8:57 pm #

    I just saw on the news from CNN that according to a report from CDC, the number of gay people on the largest STD dating site HerpesCommunity. com has reached 310,000. This site seems to be powered by plenty of fish and most of the gay people on it are sexy and good looking.

    Personally, I have no objection to gay marriage. My concern is that more and more gay men get STDs. It seems that gay men is easier to get an STD and they even don’t know when they have it.

  8. pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn September 5, 2013 at 3:28 pm #

    Half the population has genital herpes? Where did you read that? I doubt that. I think what they mean is half the population has some form of herpes, like cold sores. That shit you get as a baby from someone in your family kissing you on the cheek. Once you get that type of herpes on your mouth you can’t get it anywhere else, and pretty much everybody gets exposed to it. Unless you’re Jewish, then you might get it as a baby when the Rabbi sucks your baby dick off in one of those weird Jew rituals.

    • delicioustacos September 5, 2013 at 3:45 pm #

      If I ever do get it, I’m gonna say I got it from a Rabbi sucking my dick.

      • pffffffftttsssssssiimmbllllllddddddnnnnnnnnn September 5, 2013 at 6:54 pm #

        If you find out she’s anti-semitic, like if you ever wind up hitting on one of the girls from Prussian Blue, you can say it’s a conspiracy to spread herpes to the goyim and undermine Western Civilization. You’ll look like a martyr.

  9. Rodney DeLouis September 11, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

    So, I just found out my girlfriend of 1 month has the Herpes. We haven’t banged yet, so I’m safe. Amazing, hot, skinny, submissive girl who I have gamed to perfection. She eats up the beta/alpha mix like candy. Would be an amazing, perfect wife, except for this one huge, gaping problem. FUCK.

  10. Rodney DeLouis September 11, 2013 at 1:14 pm #

    So, I just found out my girlfriend of 1 month has the Herpes. We haven’t banged yet, so I’m safe. Amazing, hot, skinny, submissive girl who I have gamed to perfection. She eats up the beta/alpha mix like candy. Would be an amazing, perfect wife, except for this one huge, gaping problem. FUCK.

  11. carl February 11, 2014 at 9:41 pm #

    how you tell your partner you have herpes can begin with the fact that many people have herpes and that good people get herpes too.

  12. nonkungza3 March 4, 2014 at 7:23 pm #

    They can be inflammed after these. The normal opinion involving him or her is HSV-1 alt?ration happens in cheeks during HSV-2 alt?ration transpires within your genitals. Almost anyone are not aware of where herpes virus simplex germs are available inside sorts, normally, although , the primary attributable to this strain, surely nearly all all through the because of intimate plays. Newborns may also be capable of producing accumulating herpes virus because of a choice between personal fathers during having a child along with that when been able after customers that has the herpes virus.

  13. killtoparty September 12, 2015 at 3:33 pm #

    This is spot fucking on, and I wouldn’t have understand the full depth of that had I not met a girl with herpes last week. She responded to my Craigslist ad looking for a fat girl to shame and embarrass. I’m not necessarily into fat, but I like to hurt feelings. The faggy BDSM community can use paddles and chains after a carefully negotiated contract signing and firm handshake, but true dominance is the ability to make someone cry while they still beg to suck your sick.

    I got one reply to my ad, and it was this kinda cute fat lady. Late 30s. She let me call her fat, and make fun of her awful body. She told me if I came over to her place I could strip her in front of a mirror and make her repeat the words “I’m just a fat pig” over and over. She said I could push her until she cried. She said she would suck my dick through the tears.

    And then she told me she had herpes. She said she hardly ever gets an outbreak; maybe twice in her whole life. She said it’s okay, that I probably had it too. Most people probably have it. She told me not to worry, that it wasn’t a big deal. She somehow tried to imply that even though I probably had it too, I still wouldn’t get it from her.

    And even though I fuck strangers without condoms, without a second thought; anyone, anytime. When I reach for the condom, I’m dying for her to tell me it doesn’t matter; when I have it on, I’m dying for her to tell me to take it off. And, even so, this girl was dirty, so ew no.

  14. Sickly dick February 23, 2016 at 5:20 am #

    Pff, herpes aint shit. I had outbreaks every month for 2 years when I caught it. Popped a valtrex a day for about 4 days and zapped it. Now I get one outbreak a year that’s so tiny I wouldn’t notice it if I weren’t in the habit of checking. The worst outbreak I ever had was much less of a pain than the time I got a mosquito bite on the end of me knob. Plenty of people are asymptomatic, so chances are you have it already.


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