Send Us Your Sex and Relationship Questions

23 Jan

FYI: Nikol D. S. Hasler, an expert in Teen Sex Education, and myself, an expert in having sex with uneducated teens, will field your sex & relationship questions if they’re at all inspiring.  Send submissions to:

Or leave them in the comments.

26 Responses to “Send Us Your Sex and Relationship Questions”

  1. insickness January 24, 2013 at 9:15 am #

    Hi Delicious Taco. Love the blog.

    Here’s my question. What’s your date routine like? Do you try to pull women back to your place on the first date? Does it turn women off if you go for sex on the first date? How do you normally set up the date? How high is your success rate with the average girl you meet up with?


  2. no longer anonymous January 24, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

    That DT email address doesn’t work!

    • delicioustacos January 24, 2013 at 4:10 pm #

      Try clicking the link in the sidebar under “Contact.”

      • no longer anonymous January 25, 2013 at 3:39 pm #


  3. swish January 24, 2013 at 9:58 pm #

    Here’s a scenario: You meet someone through friends, have some drinks at a bar and connect a little. You go out on a few dates and its fairly platonic until one day you both get drunk and he tells you he has a girlfriend but wants to break up with her and has feelings for you. Ok, feeling is mutual but fuckkk. According to friends he’s been wanting to break up with her for months but hasn’t so it doesn’t seem like he will. Out of stupidity you continue hanging out with him until the inevitable happens and you get drunk and make out. Then, he breaks up with her the next day because of what happened with you. So my question is, is this just all awful? Is there anyway that seeing him now would be ok?

    • Words from Big Bird January 25, 2013 at 10:07 am #

      Go for it!
      You got nothing to lose and much to gain, or perhaps not much to gain at all. What’s that saying though, it’s better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all? You can always substitute ‘love’ with ‘fuck’ but i get the impression it’s a little more than just physical.

      • Anonymous January 25, 2013 at 10:35 am #

        Nobody asked you. Turd.

      • Anonymous January 25, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

        hahaha. The post is “Nikol and I will answer your questions!” Then this guy chimes in to answer.

      • nikolhasler January 25, 2013 at 12:43 pm #

        I’ll be chiming in soon enough, but Big Bird, I completely disagree with you. Both people in this equation acted like dickheads.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2013 at 2:36 pm #

      Are you kidding? What exactly is the issue?

  4. phhhhhgaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh January 25, 2013 at 10:16 am #

    Dear Mr. Tacos,

    Should I ever plan to get married and have kids?


    Mr. Single and Ready to Mingle

  5. Anonymous January 25, 2013 at 1:09 pm #

    From a woman: How do you bring up a conversation about having kids in a (good) relationship? Give me fucking lines to say. “Let’s have kids?” “Let’s get married and have kids?” “What do you think about having kids?” “Do you wanna have kids? If so, do you wanna have them with me? If not, fuck you?” What????

    • delicioustacos January 25, 2013 at 5:48 pm #

      Just tell him “cum in me.”

      Nikol agrees.

      • Anonymous January 27, 2013 at 6:26 pm #

        Yeah, except that it doesn’t fucking work. He’s too practical about it, i.e. always, ALWAYS putting a condom on.

  6. Anonymous January 25, 2013 at 2:44 pm #

    Ok, Why would this be interesting? There is something fundamentally dull about the sex advice angle. First of all, it invites what will be inevitably pathetic and naive commentary/questions. Your blog is engaging because you are NOT naive. In fact you are layered with conflict and experience. You are the filo dough of bitterness. People with sex questions are primarily simple –assuming in the first place that there are answers and/or that they are going to come from someone else. Your dating advice is funny because it reads more like a “how to masturbate effectively with another human being” soliloquy–as you care about the conquest and quality of *your* orgasm only. Also–the whole thing reeks of a commercial endeavor. Now that you are facing unemployment, you must be cooking up postures for viable income or notability. And, if i wanted to read Nikol’s blog–i would. IF this becomes a project where you are partners–then get another page.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2013 at 3:34 pm #

      *Your dating advice is funny because it reads more like a “how to masturbate effectively with another human being” soliloquy…
      its not entirely that its funny–its that it’s almost profound in what it reveals about you–and through that what it reveals about your reader as we identify with the human folly of self-centered ness. We understand and sympathize simultaneous to our judgement. This is complex. This is good reading. This is not a syndicated pile of junk advice column.
      Be careful not to be a bore dude down this road dude.

    • fakegirlfirlend January 25, 2013 at 9:37 pm #

      i have to admit, honey, i agree..
      so far this post direction reads like the last few BS – but curious – searches i did about social media construction with the google search bar term “please help me, social media”:

      its like…. Hey–one of the ways to make your shit more searchable is to be “actively interactive”.(Reader Mailbag, keywords: *teen, sex*)

      just last night you bitched to me about the internet model–and the white dudes in Meso-Fing-Potamia who inevitably win via these.

      It seems like you are branding/selling/pushing your shit when you frame these posts this way.

      i love who you are as a writer because you are uncanny and difficult and it is complicated to also know you and I believe that even if I didnt know you–that i would feel like i do–because that intimacy comes across in your writing–and its rare.
      so, my opinion is….
      Please be a writer.
      We have enough Development Executives already
      you know?

      • fakegirlfirlend January 25, 2013 at 9:50 pm #

        i mean why not be crazy brave!!!???!!! read bukowski. take the baths. go to malibu at 10am and talk to an innovative millionaire. leap. fail. you will fuck regardless.
        go crazy. be bright.
        so confident in your seriously flawed state–that is a god damn gift.

        dont frame yourself so novelty shelf bookstore hit.
        be someone we wish we could be. because you already *are* that way.
        and i do respect nikol–but you dont need to follow her lead.

        you have a completely different audience.

    • NIkolHasler January 26, 2013 at 10:50 am #

      Aww. Someone on the internet doesn’t like me.

      DT sent me a message asking if I would answer some questions here. This doesn’t make the blog a project, and he’s not making me a partner. Everyone just calm the fuck down. Try to enjoy yourselves. Stop being so angry.

      • YesBully January 26, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

        Why would you even agree to do it? You know everyone here hates you and will do nothing but say mean things about you.

      • Anonymous January 27, 2013 at 9:04 am #

        For the record, I do not hate Nikol.

      • Anonymous January 27, 2013 at 10:52 am #

        I also don’t hate Nikol. But I enjoy hurting her “feelings” or whatever fat slutty people have instead of feelings.

      • nikolhasler January 27, 2013 at 4:18 pm #

        Anonymous #2, your comment made us laugh several times throughout breakfast.

      • delicioustacos January 27, 2013 at 5:34 pm #

        Nikol’s son saw it over her shoulder and laughed his ass off.

  7. Stephen February 16, 2013 at 12:18 pm #

    I am unemployed and live with my mom. Chances of me getting laid this fiscal year?

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