Why can’t people just be normal when you see them. Just fucking say hello for Christ’s sake. Now I’m carrying this weird awkward memory around as I try to order at the god damn coffee shop; it is inhibiting my ability to hit on my server. I’m at the ATM. I’m in profile, unmistakable from the sidewalk, intent on my deposit. I turn to leave and sidling up to the next machine is you, Olivia, turning your head to the side in hopes that I don’t see you. Because there are so many other ginger chicks with mammoth jugs out there wearing that same dress you wore on our first date. You’re with a dude, maybe that’s the issue. Or you’re just a weirdo.
Well, God damn, you look good. Like you reverse aged. I forgot that you have good skin. I was reading this morning, the foreword to a book of Charles Bukowski’s, and it mentioned some Latin title I hadn’t known was his. It was your tattoo. So that’s where you got it. You were a Bukowski fan, I thought. So that’s why you liked me. I’m the shitty version of him, but then, not nearly as ugly. A good compromise for a date. I didn’t know his work when we went out.
I read that and I thought: shit, she was hot, I should call her. She’s a good writer. She has big titties and she can fuck. Why did I let that go. I should call her. I was thinking all of this this morning after not thinking about you for two years. Then I see you at the god damn ATM and you’re weird.
What the fuck is with God. Coincidences of this level are clearly meant to tell me something. But if you’re going to drop some hint about Olivia and make me think about her fondly, and then put her on the fucking street with me fifteen minutes later, can you not have her be alone? Can you fucking have her be interested in talking to me? Even God can’t make an attractive woman go out by herself. Also, why does God work in stupid trivial coincidences like some shit out of Seinfeld.
Anyway, I don’t know if you read this, but if you do, call me. We’ll forget about this ATM unpleasantness and I’ll take you for a drink. As you saw, I’m flush with cash.