Coffee Shop Diary: Poems about Fruits

9 Apr

There’s a man in the coffee shop. He is talking to the cute waitress who I think hates me. She appears to hate me so much that I think she must be gay. But I guess not. He is asking if she ever reads books. Oh no, she laughs. Hahaha, I wish I could, I just never have the time. She works in a coffee shop that serves about eight customers a day and is also a bookstore.

He walks back to the shelf and comes back with a book, white cover black letters like those six packs in Maine that just say “beer,” and the cover says “Oranges Tangerines Bananas” or something. He hands it to her. It is his book; he wrote it. Oh, she says, I will have to check this out. He has a black leather jacket and a tattoo of a kite.

You motherfucker with your poems about fruits. If I had one more hustler gene I’d rule the world.

7 Responses to “Coffee Shop Diary: Poems about Fruits”

  1. BADM April 9, 2013 at 3:01 pm #

    Don’t get yourself down DT. You’re better than this dood, even when you’re coming down off a coke bender, simply because you do not sport a black leather jacket and a tattoo of a kite. …a fucking kite. whatthefuck. fucking eunuch.

  2. sylviasarah April 9, 2013 at 5:45 pm #

    Dude. You could totally write a book and have it printed at kinkos and just sneak it in the bookshelf before she notices, at another place I guess, and then do the same thing. You already know what chicks want to hear, with your rote dates and all. You could just write the story of one of your dates but instead of you never calling back, the girl tells you that was fun and she has to go. Or some other emo crap. Idk. I don’t read books. Obvi.

    • sylviasarah April 9, 2013 at 5:46 pm #

      But you would write the story with fictional characters but later she’ll be like, tell me the truth, is this based on you a little? And you’ll be like, maybe a few of the parts but I’ll leave that to you to guess. Or other such nonsense.

  3. Nikol April 9, 2013 at 6:00 pm #


  4. emily April 10, 2013 at 8:16 am #

    awww, honey.

  5. Anonymous April 14, 2013 at 11:30 am #

    I live in Maine and have never seen a six-pack labeled simply “beer”.

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