How I Met Your Mother

10 Feb

We met on a web site. Computers still showed two dimensional images then. People would post their pictures and a few paragraphs about themselves, trying to get a date. A woman chose pictures where she looked thinnest and her face looked most like a child. A man said he was taller than he was and chose pictures where his jawbone stuck out. Men sent messages to women. Hoped the women would pick them. Women waited to be picked.

People had to pretend it was about getting married. Really it was about fucking. Men wanted to fuck much more than women back then. No way you could imagine it now. It was like a hunger where you’d kill a man over a Dorito. It was like being on fire and fucking was the only way to put it out. Women didn’t quite feel that way. They felt something complicated and weird until they met a tall man with the right size jawbone. Then suddenly their feelings were comparable. It was all a nightmare frankly. No one ever got anything done. No wonder the ugly people took over and had us all castrated.

6 Responses to “How I Met Your Mother”

  1. Guest February 10, 2015 at 6:09 am #

    Having some quality time with the grandkids?

  2. Bango Tango February 10, 2015 at 8:02 am #

    Yeah the stories for the next generation of grandchildren. Life was hard before the sex bot revolution. For us non alphas on Tinder everyday was a struggle for hot sex, we used crude devices back then like the fleshlight and nights were mostly cold and lonely watching 2 D porn. How we made it through I will never know….

    • Atlanta Man February 10, 2015 at 10:16 am #

      Dude, the sex bot will change the game for guys! It will be like how warfare was changed by the gun, or porn by the free tube sites!

  3. Wiley Lasagna February 10, 2015 at 12:12 pm #

    “Kill a man for a dorito”
    Don’t laugh brothers, we’ve all been there!

  4. Randy February 11, 2015 at 9:24 am #

    It never ends. The other day I boffed a perfect 19 year old Russian-Brazilian-whoknowswhatthefuckelse at a nearby brothel. The week before that it was 20 year old brunette cheerleader type. But put a squatting 16 year old in yoga pants in front of me, and I feel like a high school virgin all over again. My male sex drive ensures that I’ll never feel satisfied. Is nature trolling us?


  1. How I Met Your Mother | - February 10, 2015

    […] How I Met Your Mother […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: