My new collection The Pussy is out. Pay for The Pussy, own The Pussy, put The Pussy on a pedestal, etc.
Now I’m thinking about her while she’s not thinking about me. Has not ever thought about me. She’s thinking about video shoots that guys from bands invited her to, while I’m thinking about her. Cool interesting people are inviting her to swimming pools. I’m buying unnecessary trash bags at Target to get out of the house.
I should take a year off. Not write. Nothing good comes. What does doesn’t make me famous. Only pussy I’m getting is return traffic. No new girls find me, since I stopped being a misogynist.
Meanwhile I have a bug bite on my right calf that I’m convinced is from this fat chick with the fried out green hair who I fucked Sunday, just to fuck somebody. She did have perfect tits. She did have an IUD, so I could blast in her, her laying on her stomach, one of my legs between her legs. Big tits and perfect small nipples. That’s something. I also liked her gut. It wasn’t doughy. Wall of muscle behind it. What if someone appraised you this way. As long as she fucked me who cares.
Anyway she gave me bedbugs. Does permethrin take care of bedbugs too. Probably not. Probably I’ll be gnawed on by bedbugs forever. Plus the fleas re-awakening. I didn’t thoroughly vacuum my home every day for 7 months per the permethrin can. Just spray once, it says. Then just spend a week’s pay on an industrial vacuum, decibels like a fighter jet engine with your head stuck in the turbine. Crank the weight of this rickety thing around for hours in the heat every day forever, is all you have to do. It stimulates the eggs to hatch. Fuck it. Welcome back fleas. We’ve endured.
She had a bad sunburn and she was drunk, but stroking her ass while she bent over to look at my computer screen. Her pussy. Almost wanting to cum as soon as I put it in. Her on top moving fast with my legs pressed close together. Slow doggystyle. I wanted to really feel it. My load was one thick shot almost to the back of her neck. Then one halfway up her back. Then like an eight minute wait for the rest of it. My dick shaking like it was choking on a chicken bone while crickets literally chirped out the window. I asked if I could cum in her. How good is your insurance, she said.
Lara wouldn’t fuck me again. She thinks if we don’t she wins. Instead we watched Game of Thrones. Spent too much money on sushi and I’d feel a lot better if the night ended with a fuck. But maybe I’ll never get laid again. I need Lara because I need an Asian. The specific Japanese porno muff with long thick pointy hairs splaying straight out of fat dark pussylips taint and asshole.
Tonight is my second date with what the fuck is her name. Rebecca. She takes Zoloft and Wellbutrin. Zoloft is the “primary,” she says, and the Wellbutrin is so she can cum. Hairy pussy and an IUD. Big perfect tits with tiny perfect nipples like mine. We have identical nipples. Never thought to be grateful for my nipples before. But I’ve been catching girls lately with eight square feet of nipple meat. Each areola bump should be a nipple of its own. She’s married.
I love a soft belly but too many pigs lately. Now I need to fuck a gymnast built like a little boy. Suck on little nonexistent tits with pecs under them. Tiny lean muscular panther ass. Fucking a fat girl can make you doubt yourself. She’s a human being, you don’t want to think these things. But you do. You can nut in her while she’s ovulating. I like the smell of her cunt– which I couldn’t find at first. I kept feeling this spongey yet hard meat button. Discovered it was her asshole. How did I not know this.
Who am I forgetting. Holly from AA who wanted me to rape her in some dork’s apartment she was house sitting. None of them feel like anything. None of them count. A girl’s wonderful and then she’s nothing. Drugs are wonderful, booze wonderful, money probably wonderful but I wouldn’t fucking know. Food shelter air and drinking water all fucking great until they aren’t anymore. You’re built to suffer. Your big brain which you think is to make tools, fight off rampaging ground sloths– it’s to trick another man out of pussy until he brains you with a rock with his finely honed Darwinian hands. It’s to take things away from other people. Them or you. Money food pussy. We’re innately evil. We deserve suffering.
I want Anna back but she won’t speak to me. Her sister had a manic episode. Crashed her car in flames on the freeway. Lost her job. Fell in with dirtbags. Anna has to babysit her. I don’t talk to her about the crash, she says. Too delicate. I try to keep her mind on other things. Otherwise it could set her off. She’ll harm herself.
The sister picked up Anna’s phone and called me. Something something motherfucker don’t ever text my sister about me again. Please calm down, I said. Just listen to yourself. She said well motherfucker I’m not going to listen to you…
I told her: go get in another flaming car wreck, cunt. Go smoke crack and get gang banged by methheads again you whore. When I stopped she kept going. Something something I know where you work. I said that’s right, I have a job. I didn’t get fired for being crazy like you, you useless piece of shit.
One of us hung up. Now Anna won’t talk to me. I’m afraid the sister will kill herself. But suddenly I can laugh again.