Diary: Grab Them by the Pussy

9 Oct
donald-full-hollywoodlife-com

image stolen from hollywoodlife.com

All right good morning. Sat down and instantly it’s too loud to write. Neighbors running around with their kid, their dog. Someone hauling a steel barrel full of corkscrews and broken glass up stairs suddenly made of old organ pipes. What do I want to write today. Too addled for chapter 3 of Finally, Some Good News. Even though I’m close to cracking how the main character will drive the action. Killing millions of people.

I think this thing with the abortion clinic will be valuable. My AA sponsor told me to go act as a human shield against the protesters at the baby abattoir. Part of my amends for abusing my first girlfriend. Amends to women in general. Protect them in their most vulnerable moment. You stand between fat Mexican teens aborting cholos’ babies and Westboro Baptist howler monkeys. Protect young girls who’ll regret this for the rest of their lives. Who’d be happier if they’d kept their beautiful baby and let it to live and grow. Make them feel safe so they don’t change their mind.

My sponsor did it. I assume he too was making amends. He’s an abuser like me. He’s in a band so his victims were better looking. He got into abortion rights through some feminist comedian. What words could be worse together. Nazi rabbi. I can’t think of any. Misogynist abortion rights activist. I assume he was fucking her. Abortion is murder but if I get you pregnant you better have one.

Anyway I’m looking forward to it. The protesters are families with kids. He said one of the kids waved a knife at him. Please let a kid wave a knife at me. I cannot wait to take a 70 pound child, twist his arm behind his back like a chicken wing and then stomp on the bone I just broke while he cries in the dirt. I want to do this in front of his mother. Just to see her eyes. Please let this happen. Something where I get to hurt somebody. Again, let me be clear– this would be someone I agree with. Please let me maim a child taking righteous action to save lives. Let me watch and hear his agony and the agony of his family. Of course you can’t do anything. The Christians try to bait you into assault so they can make a federal case. Then again, best way to get laid– get on the news.

**********

She moved in with her coke dealer in Provence. I might be pregnant, she tells me. Would you keep it I ask. Whatever would hurt me most is what’s true. I’m alone and always will be. Fuck her anyway. She’s over 30.

How dare you enjoy life, whore. But if she wanted me I wouldn’t want her. I need to fuck someone to spite her. But there’s this thing now where 19 year old girls on OKCupid ask you to fuck and disappear. Look, it keeps happening:

combined-okc-10-16

It can’t get worse and then it does. I was invisible to women. I thought: this must be the bottom. But they invented a move where they pop on your radar to torture you, then vanish. You have to hand it to them.

Angela, don’t leave me. When she lived with me she fucked the Ostrich Farm bartender on coke. My whole life, having pussy poached by restaurant staff. All they do is give girls free booze. Why do I work in an office.

**********

I told my therapist: I need some pussy or I’m gonna shoot up a school. Take out your notebook and write this down: if I don’t have sex in the next 36 hours I will do grievous harm to myself and others. He chuckled. There goes my license, he said. Why don’t you just get a hooker.

Dude that part of my budget goes to you. And it’s hard to get a hooker these days. Old Chinese women just give you a shitty massage. They won’t jack you off anymore. Plus I need my ego validated. To be told I’m not stupid and ugly and the only language I can hear that in comes out of a cunt. After I’m done with you I’m gonna check my texts. If this OKCupid girl hasn’t texted me back– I mean I guess there’s not school on Saturday. But something man.

I can feel the energy, he said. It’s like my junkies when they kick. Yes but here’s what I won’t do: deal with it with more bullshit spiritual growth. I can’t take one more fucking instant of self improvement, helping others, productivity. I want what I want. I don’t want to dance for it. I don’t want to join a class. Flirt with some converse wearing twat buying fresh cilantro while the bag boy laughs at me. I’m a large healthy mammal. It should just come to me for Christ’s sake. Well in the animal kingdom males work for it, he said. Look at the peacocks. Yeah but animals can just rape cubs or something. Well our time’s up.

I walked to the massage place to have the feeling of a human being’s hand on my skin, which I get once a month when I pay for it. She did jack me off.

**********

Donald trump was 59 years old when he had to brag to Billy Bush that you can just grab them by the pussy. You have six kids and you’re rich. You still haven’t really fucked her until you’ve bragged about it to another man. When will it end.

Finally we get Clinton’s speech. Of course she’s biting into a squirming baby’s fontanel while Lloyd Blankfein jerks off to the screams. She’ll win because saying “pussy” is worse than hollowing out the country so some ghoul can pay kids a buck an hour. I’ll vote for her too.

What’s the point here. Running out of gas because today’s date didn’t flake. Hope kills creativity. Society doesn’t need my help to die. Just lie back and let it happen.

22 Responses to “Diary: Grab Them by the Pussy”

  1. Anonymous October 9, 2016 at 2:13 pm #

    Very like. Much good.

  2. Anonymous October 9, 2016 at 2:16 pm #

    Let me take you out so you can have more to write about. So much horrible things you can feed your readers with.

  3. Atlanta Man October 9, 2016 at 2:25 pm #

    Don’t do drugs DT, but it is a lot easier to get laid when you do drugs. Seriously , a gram and a half of coke, some benzodiazepines, and two 750 ML bottles of Vodka will do more to get you laid than self improvement.

    • Calcium October 9, 2016 at 3:03 pm #

      Getting laid isn’t nearly as satisfying as self improvement.

      • Hydrogen Peroxide October 9, 2016 at 4:31 pm #

        Self-improvement doesn’t make sense without the goal of getting laid.

    • Anonymous October 9, 2016 at 3:20 pm #

      Getting laid is not something he’s unable to do without drugs.

  4. prevailtolegend October 9, 2016 at 7:10 pm #

    I think it’s like 5 kids

  5. Anonymous October 10, 2016 at 12:47 am #

    OkCupid is the fucking worst, it’s like Irish dancing through a field laced with land mines. I’m all Hi Dee Day Dee Hi Hi till one blows my legs off and I’m sprawled limbless on the ground watching as the flesh slowly rots with the gangrene. And I’m dragging my bloody corpse across the field in hope of that glimmering rainbow at the end, but all I’m doing is watching bits of my body fly off in quick departure, no farewell or acknowledgement, just the ghost of the last message. The worst is I believe Mobile, Alabama really did catch sight of a leprechaun.

  6. Anonymous October 10, 2016 at 10:54 am #

    No Country For White Men

  7. Donald Trump's underbite October 10, 2016 at 5:16 pm #

    It makes me sad that you have to resort to massage parlor aunties. I want to read about you machine-gun fucking 19 year old Korean girls with purple hair.

  8. Father O'Hara aka Adolf Hitler's Skid Marks On His Underpants October 10, 2016 at 9:32 pm #

    Grab em by the pussy!

  9. Gnome Slayin? October 11, 2016 at 3:11 am #

    At least you still enjoy something about women. The modern female is so utterly repugnant to me, the thought of subjecting myself to their whims is unfathomable.

    It’s supremacy that drives me.

    Subscribe to my newsletter!

    • Anonymous October 11, 2016 at 8:03 pm #

      Is that why you think you’re alone? Poor buddy.

      • Gnome Slayin? October 12, 2016 at 3:00 am #

        Marriage is sacred.

        The modern female is desecrated.

        Therefore, the modern female is unmarriageable.

        The Skype couldn’t kill us all by force, although it tried in Russia, killing 20 million. It killed us by destroying our women with women’s lib, to prevent us from having families. It worked. And so you have healthy 40 year old men hitting the wall and wondering what the fuck happened, thinking it’s their own fault.

      • Anonymous October 12, 2016 at 3:12 pm #

        Also, It is DTs own fault and he’s far from healthy.

      • Anonymous October 12, 2016 at 3:14 pm #

        Wait, I totally skimmed. If I’d known you were just deficient, I’d never have engaged. Have a good day. I hope your brain damage is reversible. Was it drugs?

    • Anonymous October 12, 2016 at 3:12 pm #

      You’re an idiot. You seem like the kind of guy who thinks there are relationships that require work. Like you’re some god, even though it’s already obvious you have absolutely no self esteem, and you were promised a doting woman. What was your mother like?

    • No Name For This October 16, 2016 at 11:32 am #

      I’m sorry that your search for a woman to submit yourself to has gone so poorly. It’s so terrible that modern women are allowed to make their own choices about who they fuck.

  10. Graybusch October 13, 2016 at 5:04 pm #

    All is phony, all is propaganda
    There will be no big dance
    Civil war or revolutions in dreams
    It will be just what it is
    Decay
    A slow miserable death
    Work more, get paid less
    Taxed more, in return for less
    Then if you’re lucky death

    • No Name For This October 16, 2016 at 11:32 am #

      No gods, no masters.

  11. Bonnes Tacos October 15, 2016 at 5:45 am #

    I liked this one a lot, nicely done, though I make the sign of the cross at the fascination with the slutty dame sans merci. For future reference, if stools in corners get involved, go outside, smoke some black tar from a philly cheese steak wrapper for old times sake and join a fresh AA variant. Also, gold stars for the Trump pic and Provence.

    I had a girlfriend — this was in the age when there were girlfriends — who after a while wanted to date other people and the turtle just silently retreated back in its shell. We were done. She turned bizarre, fat and poly so haha I won. Haha.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. You Should Message Me If Part 5 | delicioustacos - December 1, 2016

    […] me hard. Hot enough to make me cum too fast but not so hot you can leave me too easy and move to Provence. Have your life paid for by a male model who sells extremely pure cocaine. This happened to my last […]

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