Sure. But that’s not what I worry about. I felt like an old loser at 22. Of course I look back now, see a picture of myself– I look like a baby. I feel like an old loser now. When I look back at 65 I’ll laugh at how stupid I was. I know this. Knowing this does nothing. It doesn’t help at all. But then hearing it from you doesn’t hurt. It does nothing. I hope it helps you. But you’ll wake up tomorrow needing to leave mean comments. I’ll wake up feeling like an old loser. It’s just genetic.
I don’t have money problems anymore. New problems invent themselves. I don’t have cancer, definitively. I did online research. Requested every test conceivable. Definitively nothing. I find something else to worry about. I got clocked in the nose twice at Muay Thai practice. Velcro strap on the headgear caught on my T shirt. Kept me from tucking my chin properly. So I worry that my nose, already smashed, is fatter now like Michael Bisping’s. If you look at him on The Ultimate Fighter he’s got a straight, sharp nose. Quite good looking. Now it’s all pulpy and fat. Same with Joe Rogan. Is it old age or is it walking into crosses with your chin up—anyway I briefly worry about this. The swelling subsides. It goes back how it was before. I’m grateful for it. I always hated it. Now I think it’s beautiful.
Problems invent themselves. You won’t run out of them. Enough money to live for years if they fire me. And if Amazon kicks me off, etc. I don’t talk about it because people ask to borrow it. It doesn’t make me feel like a man. Muay Thai doesn’t either. I look like Evander Holyfield’s 58 year old open workout on the pads. My coach holds the pad up and the Jeopardy theme plays while I deliberate what I’m supposed to do. Any 22 year old could kick my ass. I’m an old loser. But then before I started Muay Thai it didn‘t occur to me to judge myself on whether I could fight. I got better at fighting. It caused me to feel like a pussy. I used to be fat. Or at least a muscleless out of shape f****t, and I had more confidence in my body. I dated hotter women. They’d try to neg me. It wouldn’t stick. I got in shape. I started feeling fat.
I was at AA. Heard two young parents. One of them shared about losing his apartment to a fire. Having to live in one room at a friend’s place with a two year old and a newborn. A woman shared about her days long labor during COVID. Said she got some of her face tattoos removed. People just did the thing I’m afraid to do. Just pick somebody and have a kid with them. Not worry about money. About their alcoholism, their face tattoos. That’s my big problem now. When I solve it I’ll feel worse. Like a bad parent and husband. So for now enjoy not feeling that.
Problems invent themselves. You won’t run out. The people into their jobs dogs Netflix are smart and I’m stupid. For thinking I need to be better than them.
All you can do is your best to let it go. Enjoy the birds and the cat. Sometimes you can’t even do that. It’s just genetic. Not my fault. Not my problem. I’m an old loser. I give up. And then tomorrow I’ll have re-not given up. Wake up horrified that I have no kids. Knowing this does nothing. It doesn’t help at all. At some point I’ll feel better by accident.
delicioustacos 
Stop jacking off and race mixing
that’s like telling him to stop breathing.
or to stop being a massive f****t.
Well, it’s very nice to have the mailbag return.
I still love reading your blog, DT. Imagine what that says about me, but, I still enjoy reading your stuff.
you’re not even that old, dipshit. look up recent pics of jeffrey bezos. he looks like he’s in peak physical shape as well as peak happiness. people only make fun of you for being old because you started the trend of calling yourself old in the first place. bezos fresh from an HGH injection looks like he could rip you or me a new asshole, even if he has no fighting skills. he’s muscular but not freakishly lean like some wannabe african. his new gf looks better than most women in their 30’s and 40’s. perfect bimbo milf face and body. age is a meme. but hey keep calling yourself an old loser and agreeing with the negative comments if you think it’s funny in a self-effacing way. i guess you win if you don’t let such remarks get to you. bezos would probably not tolerate such insults, though.
Mean comments are posted by ricedicks who are jealous of Taco’s success. Only small-cock bugmen feel a need to tear down an alpha White man.
look up recent pics of jeffrey bezos
world’s richest man but his eye’s still fucked up
Now that you don’t have cancer I don’t give a shit what you have to say.
Actually it’s a refractory period, the suspense of the last posts desensitized me to the humdrum stuff. Give me an hour. Give me a few hours, I’m over 40 now. Ya commie fugootz.
Kind Sirs, our token of choice has arisen in price and will surmount any doubts about touching 1000 USD by end of year. The time is now to hodl and kindly do not redeem.
“Knowing this does nothing. It doesn’t help at all.” is how I feel about a lot of 12-step and tehrapy-derived insights. I appreciate the knowledge, but then still have to go out and live life as a human being.