People tell me I seem calmer. Is it God or my testosterone. I can’t fuck so don’t give a shit about anything. My old sugar babies write me letters. They’re smart and interesting. But had shitty parents. So they make money fucking old men. You suffer from your father not being around, or from him being around. I love you girls. I want to wrap you in a warm blanket and hold you.
I had two dreams about my Vietnamese ex Gertrude. So hot even my Asian friend admitted it. He said she looked like a Chinese ad for hand cream.
In the first one she’d drugged my drink. I woke up and asked her about it. She didn’t say what she’d done it for. Whether it was to steal money or my kidneys or what. She just kind of laughed maliciously. In the second one I was going to fuck her again after all these years. But had to take a shower first. We were at her place, her family’s house or something. She told me to use some kind of brown sugar soap they had. We were topless in our underwear. I looked at my pants and a large locust-like insect was eating the fabric on that little key pocket jeans have. I thought about burning it with a lighter but wanted to show it mercy. The insect bit the fabric and a little smoke appeared. It had fire in its jaws somehow.
What does anything mean. I want to beat off. I did a reading. Hot women introduced themselves. It was a relief to not be able to do anything. Not have to escalate. I did a great job reading. I trained hard for days. Approached it like kickboxing.
I did well because my ex Susannah showed up at my house. To return The Color Purple I lent her four years ago. I’d told my Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous sponsor: if a hot woman shows up at my door, I’m fucking her. He said go for it. Laughing. We all know that doesn’t happen. There I am working from home and knock knock knock it’s her. I dated her when she was a freshman in college. I was 43. Her face is perfect. She looks like horny pictures men post in group chats. She graduated. She’s moving out of town to work for Goldman Sachs. I’m telling you these girls are gonna make it.
She’s into theater. She told me get off book as much as possible. Treat it like a performance. I said I can’t have romantic or sexual contact with women. What if God sent her. What does anything mean.
I got off stage. I killed, I knew it. Standing in the wings watching the next guy read I saw my ex Xochitl’s distinctive haircut, many rows back. She’s late to places sometimes. I didn’t give a shit about other people there anymore. Only whether she’d made it in time to see me. Progress not perfection. You don’t relapse by having a feeling. You relapse by physical action in the world. E.g. taking Xochitl home slathering the scent of her perfect smooth bald pussy over your face then blasting hot thick fountains of cum, billions upon billions of sperm cells into her extremely age inappropriate womb as deep as possible, which I did not attempt to do. I barely held the hug too long.
delicioustacos 
“You don’t relapse by having a feeling. You relapse by physical action in the world.” Friend is wisdom.
You know you’re going to get more women now that you’ve sworn off pussy. Couldn’t make this one but I’ll come to your next reading.
Hello
love it
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Cheers!
Scott Dubois
Civic Edge Lifestyle
https://delicioustacos.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/img_44901.jpg 100% FREE Guide on how you can make 505 in 4 days and upwards from there online
FAG
Damn I think I have a sex addiction too. Recovery sounds fucking worse.
it is, but there is no other option
“Age approriate” is such a stupid meme. Pacino is 82 and still impregnating:
dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12142129/Al-Pacino-set-join-old-dad-club-82-revealed-girlfriend-29-EIGHT-MONTHS-pregnant.html
So gay swearing off pussy , its absolutely pointless , swearing off pussy, whats the end goal to never fuck a woman again wow so stupid hey next swear of music that will help too .
when did he say he swore off puss? sounds like he’s just taking a break because he’s such an addict that getting into one woman leads to trouble. like having “just one drink” can lead an alckie to relapse. i applaud his efforts, even though he censors my comments sometimes. it’s OK tacos, i forgive you. i am the arsehole.
Beautiful piece. You really captured that baseline, bittersweet longing that never disappears.
i can confirm that you killed that night. i drank two of The Pussy beverages from the bar.
Everything you do is to get attention.
Imagine getting the spotlight you always wanted.
Only to have the entire audience see you as a worm.
not caring, stable, intellectual, nor age-appropriate…. but how can u look in the mirror & truly call yrself a feminist ally if u don’t put out for ur female fans (specifically a 21 yr old one who hasn’t read ur work but jerked off to ur quips on red scare !)
glad to hear we’re in the same boat (20 y/o red scare fan that was groomed and this man sounds exactly like him) miss it.