Tag Archives: abraham lincoln was gay

Cats and Dogs

16 May

The people with their dogs. What if I had a dog. I like to think I would be out walking it all the time; it would have gotten me out more, and perhaps I would have net a nice young woman out with her dog. You know, out in the park, the dogs are frolicking, you get to talking… and then, you know, she comes over to your apartment, the dog recognizes her; she fucks you.  They say this kind of shit happens.

But really, my cat is the exact right amount of pet for my lifestyle.  He has his own life.  It would be immeasurably cruel to have a dog, go to work for eleven hours per day; sometimes do drinks after, you come home and the dog has been trapped in 400 square feet of poorly ventilated carpeted space with only the smells of garbage under the kitchen sink to amuse him. The dog’s whole life is waiting for the moment you get home. You get home and it’s just looking at you all expectantly, like, please focus one hundred per cent of your attention on me.  Please spend every waking second not otherwise occupied, throwing a tennis ball again and again. Continue reading