I’m bored with OKCupid. Thinking about nuking my profile by putting this as the new “You Should Message Me If” section:
Look, just fuck me, for Christ’s sake. Why do I have to write this god damn essay like I’m applying for college. Why don’t we just admit that’s what this web site is for. You’re not gonna meet your husband on here. You’re gonna meet your husband at work where you’re forced to be around him without an agenda. You two will slowly grow on one another. That’s how relationships happen. Me, you’re gonna let me buy you a couple cheap wines and wake up groggy in the morning with my boner grinding your butt crack. We will make a half hearted plan to meet up at some art show; whichever one of us is better looking will flake, and we will never speak again. Why do this fucking kabuki dance. When you meet your true love in ordinary life I will congratulate you.
Continue reading
delicioustacos 